Do you ever wonder why it seems like men will notice you but then don’t seem to approach?
Does the thought of YOU being the one to approach a man get your mind buzzing with ALL SORTS of QUESTIONS?
Perhaps questions like these…
If I approach a man, won’t he think I’m coming onto him?
If I speak to a man first, then won’t he think I’m too aggressive?
If I look or smile too long at a man, then won’t he think I’m being OBVIOUS?
AND MY FAVORITE ONE…
Since I looked at him once and he didn’t come over to talk to me, so he’s not interested in me right?
Where do I start with that one…
All of this over-thinking, wondering, speculating and WORRY are all products of your fear and cause you to make all these EXCUSES for not showing your interest in men.
And let me tell you that if you don’t start showing men you’re interested, MEN WILL NOT APPROACH YOU.
I want to share with you an interaction I recently had with a female client of mine.
It’s an interaction that led to me talking about one of the BIGGEST MISTAKES I SEE WOMEN MAKE when they’re trying to attract men and get men to approach.
Here’s a little background…
Recently, it almost feels like now, one of my most stubborn clients who likes to challenge every level of my brain when coaching her, asked me this question:
“David, I’m having the hardest time getting my keister out of the house and practicing hello. I feel if I do what you tell me to do – which is saying hello to men – that they are going to think I’m coming onto them. And if they think that I’m coming on to them and they don’t respond, then they are going to talk about me all day long and I am never going to be able to show my face in public again.”
(OK, I’m exaggerating a BIT about the end of the question…)
So what did I tell my client, who happens to be a good friend and a favorite client, but who thinks she is a pain in the keister?
By the way, I never used the word “keister” before her … but there’s something sort of ‘Leave It To Beaver‘ about it and I like it.
So what did I tell her to do? And, does her fear seem at all familiar to you?
I told her to go out and whenever she sees a man, she needs to utter one of these variations of the world
“hello: hey, what’s up?, how you doin’, hello, or hi.”
Pretty much any variation of a greeting will do.
I then explained to her that some men are going to say hello back and some men are not. If she goes out and spends thirty days saying hello to every man that she sees that she is attracted to, though, the end result is going to be far greater than staying home and not talking to anybody.
Here’s another thing too … and it’s what is really ironic about my client. If you met her and talked to her, you would find out that she can’t shut up. I can get on the phone with her and we can yap for an hour about nothing, and I am the one who always ends the conversation.
The one thing she cannot do is talk to men to whom she is attracted.
If you are a woman who can’t talk to men and who doesn’t know how to smile at men, you are going to spend a lot of time by yourself.
You HAVE TO LEARN TO FLIRT IF YOU WANT MEN TO APPROACH.
The best way to start is to learn that saying hello to another human being makes you more approachable. By forcing yourself to say hello to men all day long, you
are going to realize that it is not that painful. By realizing that it’s not that painful, it’s going to start to seem easy.
Then you can have fun with it. Yes … I said this can be fun!
By carrying on a conversation, some men will take it further and some men will not. Regardless of whether they do, you are opening up your energy by doing this.
You are becoming friendlier. You are also changing your body language. You’re not walking around all uptight anymore.
Stop waiting for men to walk up to you, and start smiling and saying hello.
Also – and this is really IMPORTANT, stop worrying about what they’re thinking.
You heard me…
I’m a guy, and every time a woman says hello to me I don’t think she’s coming onto me. I just think she is being friendly.
If I am attracted to her, I’ll come onto her and try to get to know her better. If I’m not, then I’ll think nothing more about her saying hello to me than she was being friendly.
We’re no more complicated than that … really!
I find that women who have trouble with this concept tend to worry too much about what other people think.
The bottom line is this:
Stop worrying about what other people think, and start enjoying yourself!
Just remember that men are just giant Scooby Doos on steroids. We’re goofy, we’re hairy, and the only thing missing is the dog collar with an “S” on it.
I promise that if you spend thirty days saying hello to random men wherever you went, that a good percentage of those men will stop and think
“Wow, a woman is actually making it easier to talk to her. What a novel approach!”
Stop waiting for men to start the conversation with you.
Start making yourself available so you can finally have a social life … and finally have the dating life you want!
So go out and say hello to every man you’re attracted to for the next thirty days. I guarantee if you do this, you will meet men.
That’s how sure I am about the power of the hello, what’s up? and how you doin’? Magic words – all of them!
If you would like to learn more about how to completely ELIMINATE all your fears and excuses in your dating life, and how to feel totally confident in your interactions with men, click here:
No Excuses: Banish Your Fears And Date Any Man You Want
Author Credit:
David Wygant has become one of the media’s most sought-after personalities. His energy and insight into dating, sex and relationships — no matter whether it’s on the Internet, over the radio airwaves, on television, in the country’s biggest magazines and newspapers, or in person — are contagious and inspiring. David offers a wide variety of products for women looking to meet amazing men, find love, improve their sex life, enhance their relationship, or just develop real inner confidence.
Click Here to read my opinion on David Wygant and whether or not I believe his advice is perfect for you.
My Opinion:
(Peter White)
Great article David. I can’t tell you how many men I talk to who fear approaching a woman because they do not appear available for the approach. More on this later….
Many of you have come to this post asking this question so I thought I would answer it myself.
“How to approach a guy online that won’t respond?”
Think about why he is not responding first. Chances are there are two reasons:
1.) He doesn’t know what to say back:
I have done tons of online dating and noticed just saying Hello is not always enough. For me it’s never how to get someone to respond, but how I want them to respond. Saying hello and smiling works in great when you’re out, but on the internet it’s not only boring and predictable, but it
-DOES NOT ALLOW THE MAN OR WOMAN RESPONDING TO ENGAGE IN a FUN CONVERSATION.
It is always important to understand to if you’re struggling on what to say to someone, think about how that person is struggling on how to respond to you.
- Be different.
- Be engaging.
- Ask open ended questions.
- Don’t ask anything that may already be written in their profile.
- Ask them to play a game…
“Hey there. I like to live a little on the edge and throw some of my choices to chance. Grab that coin just sitting around you and flip it. Heads write me back and be funny. Tails write me back and tell me how handsome or beautiful you think I am.”
2.) He is not interested in talking with you:
Time to move on. Two or three mails is enough. Trail them together with humor and if that technique doesn’t work, get over it and click on the next. Never allow yourself to get too hooked on someone that will not respond.
The longer you spend trying to figure out why, or the longer you spend figuring out what to say, the worse your words will appear.
Set yourself a clear time frame that works well with your site and stick to it. If you can’t come up with someone within the time, click next. You can always come back.
Peter White – My Nice Guy’s Approach To Attraction – DiaLteG™
*Review more Great Advice From David Wygant
I’m allowed to share with you a few unique pages to offer a glimpse into the man you’ll be learning from soon. Browse through them and click on the one you can relate to the most.
Stop Judging Your Dating Life
This is what you’ll want to read if you’re one of those women that like to “over think” or analyze everything. You’ll understand how to quiet your mind and how that can help you attract better relationships into your life.
Is It Time To Delete His Number?
Are you tired of having guys not text or call you back after you tried and tried to keep in touch?
Stop worrying and read this lesson because you’ll know exactly what to do and understand men much better by the time you’re done reading it. David offers more great advice to help quiet your mind into over thinking everything.
Why You Need To Start Thinking Like A Man
If you can think like a man you can attract him.
Don’t worry David is not telling you have to be a guy to understand them, you just have to understand how they think so you’re not confused by them. And it helps you make better connections.
You get five good reasons why he feels you must start thinking like a man. You’ll never again have to scream,
“I just don’t GET men!!!”
5 Ways To Become Instantly More Attractive Through Lifestyle
You don’t have to change everything about you to become more attractive to men.
Your lifestyle can easily do that for you with some helpful advice from David. You can learn them right here, right now and start enjoying a more attractive lifestyle tomorrow. Embrace every moment starting with the words you’re about to read and you’re already on your way.
Who Calls First Online?
The “rules” of dating are hard to understand and even more confusing to follow.
David understands this and will show you exactly what to do about the so-called rules of dating online. When you’re flirting with a guy and you have exchanged numbers, read this advice before you do anything and you’ll be much better off.
How To Overcome Dating Shyness Today
Shyness can literally put the brakes on having any remarkable dating life.
You don’t have to be shy anymore. You don’t have to drive yourself crazy just trying to “hi” to guys anymore. In this post you’ll learn exactly how to eliminate much of your dating shyness. It’s time to stop talking yourself out of meeting men and start taking action on this great advice.
Change Your Dating Life By Taking ATTRACTION ACTION
Stop worrying and start taking action in your dating life.
David and I both know you want amazing relationships. Who doesn’t. Except when you’re constantly thinking about the rules, whether he likes, what you must do next with him, you’re far from taking action in your dating life. You’re going to learn what Attraction Action and how it can lead to finally have control over your dating life.
Photo Credit:
Image: djcodrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net