Sara. There’s something here you must understand and I believe if you put yourself in his shoes, you’ll see things clearer.

Imagine you’re just about to get married and your future husband decides to call off the wedding…Is there a reason or excuse he could give you which will not hurt your feelings? What if he were to tell you he must leave to go save a thousand lives? Would that make you feel any better?

I doubt it. That is because it’s going to hurt him no matter what you say. Sure you could ease him into it or TRY to make him feel better but when you walk away – he’s going to feel it.

But you know what? He’s an adult who must by now understand how to deal with his feelings maturely. Which goes beyond you entering a marriage with someone you’re not in love with.

And what about the risk?

When each one of us enters a relationship, when each one of us opens our heart to another person, there’s always a risk involved. There’s always a chance someone is going to get emotionally hurt. It’s absolutely unavoidable.

I understand your fears. I understand how breaking this off makes you feel like you’re not a good person.

But that’s just not the case.

The “better” person is the one who does the “right thing” despite the consequences.

Trust me you’re not going to like yourself staying with someone and living in a false relationship. And eventually he’s not going to like the person pretending to be in love with him. That I can guarantee.

The answer or help you’re looking for is really just about having the courage to do what you know is the right thing. And I’m going to help you with that…because I know, being a guy, I would rather be let down by a woman who’s not afraid to be completely honest with me.

All you have to do now is put it to him in a way which in no way clouds the issue…

You are not IN love with him -> “I can not marry you because I am not in love with you.”

Notice I did not say this, “I’m sorry…I can not…”, or “You know I love you but…”, or “You truly are a great person but…”

To a guy that just says you’re more worried about your OWN feelings and not his. And that is not what we need to hear when we’re being broken up with.

Yes. He will ask why. Who wouldn’t? But again stick to the issue at hand and steer away from consoling him, until you give him that last hug.

Yes. He may even get angry. Let it happen and don’t go there with him.

Yes. He may even cry. But again the emotions he is feeling will subside and let his maturity handle it, not you.

Good luck Sara and please let me know how it all works out,

Pete

I remember getting a full dose of Double Your Dating and then heading out to the mall to practice flirting with every cashier in sight. He injected me with instant confidence backed by knowledge and a clear understanding of what I needed to start doing. And it worked extremely well.

Of course I’ve come along way since then but you never forget where it all began. Which is even better because like he’s been quoted as saying,

“If you ever find yourself failing or making mistakes, stop immediately and go right back to the basics.”

Glad to have brought back some fond memories for you Adam and I appreciate you telling us about it.

So thank you man.