When you’re out there in the dating jungle, sooner or later you’re going to encounter the scariest creature of all – rejection. But it doesn’t have to be so scary, and you’re about to find out how.
First let’s consider the lucky people don’t seem to worry about rejection. It’s all about their attitude. They realize that not all people will be for them, and also that they won’t always time their approach right – sometimes people are just not in the right frame of mind to be asked on a date.
It’s all tied up with good self esteem as we explain in ‘First Date Magic’ our new book on dating and making true love appear for you.
People with good self esteem instinctively know that they won’t win every time, and so they don’t take rejection personally. They just brush it off, see that no permanent physical damage has been done, and get on with finding someone who does want to get to know them better.
But if that’s not you (yet) it’s important to be aware of the reasons why you fear being rejected.
As silly as it seems it’s quite common for people to bring rejection on themselves by expecting it before they even get started.
Another way you bring rejection on yourself is if you’re still carrying the emotional baggage from past bad relationships, where you’ve suffered rejection.
It usually goes something like this: ‘if they didn’t want me, why would anyone else?’ What you must do is remind yourself that every relationship is different. What happened once doesn’t have to keep happening … unless of course you persist in dating the wrong sort of person, which is exactly what millions of people do.
You also need to keep in mind that timing plays a big part in how your request for a date will be received.
Here’s a typical example. Imagine you’re a guy and you approach a woman who’s just met a bunch of her friends. You politely ask her to have a drink with you. But in all likelihood she’s probably going to say no, even if she likes what she sees. She’ll either be too embarrassed, or think it’s rude to abandon her pals. But if you’d waited a while and been more casual in your approach, the answer might easily been ‘yes’.
But whatever the reason is rejection can still sting, so here are six ways that you can get over it faster and get on with meeting someone else.
1. Don’t take it personally. There are plenty of reasons you might get rejected that have absolutely nothing to do with you. You might remind them of someone they don’t like, the timing might be wrong, they might be in a relationship already, or they might be having a break from dating for awhile.
2. Leave them to it. Don’t hang around looking sulky or sad. Stand up tall, walk away with a smile, and get on with life. Who knows it might make them think that they’ve just missed out on something really good, and come after you.
3. Realize that it could have been a ‘defensive rejection’. Some people will reject you just to get in first. Often people like this are hiding serious self esteem issues behind a veil of toughness and aggression. They expect eventual rejection, so they try and protect their own feelings if they think that you might be too good for them.
4. Keep swinging. Just dust yourself off and try again. Meeting people is actually a lot of fun, and one day you’re sure to meet the right person – maybe it will be today!
5. Think of it as a narrow escape. They might have turned out to be wrong for you anyway, and if they rejected you, they probably were. How foolish they are to be blind to your charms.
6. Make it up to yourself. Have a deal going where if you get rejected, you buy yourself something nice or spoil yourself in another way. Turn it into a win-win situation! Just don’t make the ‘making up’ better than getting a date – remember you’re out there to add the joy of love to your life, not to collect self-bought gifts.
Of course fear of rejection is just one of the obstacles you’ll encounter out there in the dating jungle, but with ‘First Date Magic’ watching your back you’ll make it through just fine. See all the other great ways First Date Magic can help you have great first dates and find true love, now at ‘First Date Magic’
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