A woman who can say what she feels, simply, directly, passionately, with energy and conviction or matter-of-factness will find her soulmate in record time.
It’s possible that most of us have never known true intimacy from the moment we came into the world.
We’ve been labeled, taught, cajoled and prodded, been threatened by all forms of authority, told what’s true and what isn’t, and disrespected for everything from our feelings to our thoughts.
Our relationships have been more about pleasing others than pleasing ourselves.
More about struggling and using our wits to get what we need and what we think we want than discovering what it is we really want.
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Sometimes we need someone else to tell us that it’s okay to want what we want.
Sometimes we only accidentally discover that the person we really are, warts and all, underneath all the masks and games we’ve learned to put between ourselves and others, is truly loveable.
It can change our lives forever, or remain a lost opportunity forever.
Someone sees us — really sees us — in a moment of accidental abandon and their heart fills up with love for us.
We deny this possibility and push that someone away because we so don’t believe we are loveable.
Does this sound like you?
It’s most all of us.
We can’t, or won’t get close enough to someone who may very well be our soulmate because we’ve never done it.
We don’t know how.
When I was an actor, I did not have access to my emotions.
I could pretend fairly well, and it got me far –I could laugh nearly anytime, but I was completely detached from my anger and pain.
An actor friend told me — “fake it til you make it.”
Meaning, if I pounded the table hard enough and long enough with my fist, I’d feel angry.
If I hit my hand with a hammer over and over again, I’d feel pain.
I’d probably cry.
I use some of this “fake it til you make it” philosophy in teaching women how to express themselves.
Sometimes, just not saying or doing something can trigger the real stuff.
Sometimes, just not saying or doing something you’ve always done in the same situation will change the dynamic of your relationship forever.
Trust creeps in, in small ways.
Intimacy takes hold in the spaces between words.
Not speaking not from your heart leaves room for speaking from your heart.
The next time you’re tempted to tell your man what to do, even though you know how to do it better than he does–stop yourself.
Stop talking.
See what happens.
So what do you do when you’ve stopped talking?
How do you communicate anything?
The simple answer is to use an “I feel” message.
This sounds easy.
In a book, it would sound easy.
But it’s probably something you don’t really have words for.
Starting with “I feel” is the perfect start, but what then?
Go with what’s really there.
Feel the floor under your feet.
Feel the table in front of you.
Feel your heart beat, you’re stomach gurgle, the tightness in your chest that’s there because you’re mad, or upset, or frustrated, or giddy, and you don’t know what to say.
Feel the most concrete, real, simple thing you can, and say that.
Just saying, “I’m hungry” is better than “Let’s go to that little Italian place, okay?”
This is a game, you say.
No, it isn’t.
It’s the missing link.
The missing piece that we never learned as children.
We learned how to get along, how to influence others, how to look and do good, but we never learned how to even make contact with what we really feel, much less ever said it simply.
A woman who can say what she feels, simply, directly, passionately, with energy and conviction or matter-of-factness will find her soulmate in record time.
And there will be nothing to stop him from grabbing her and running with it.
What Tom Cruise does publicly over Katie Holmes is not bad, or weird, or bizarre.
It’s the way men are supposed to behave when they’re in love — only we’ve all forgotten.
We’re all embarrassed.
We’re all afraid of intimacy.
What would happen if we behaved as if we weren’t?
Let me show you all the ways in which you can be happy and thrive in your relationship.
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In her Have The Relationship You Want eBook, Rori Raye teaches any woman the secret of how to quickly stop the pain and frustration in her love life and get exactly the romance, affection, attention and love she really wants (and deserves!).
Rori’s Tools will help you attract a man instead of accidentally pushing him away, no matter how uncertain things feel right now.
Author Credit:
Relationship coach Rori Raye teaches women simple and effective techniques for communication, confidence, and connecting with men that she used to turn her own miserable, empty love life into the glorious, two-decades-long marriage she has now.
Her readers see her as best friend and fairy godmother, with a “we’re-in-this-together” attitude. She coaches them to boost their self esteem, express their needs and emotions to draw him closer, and connect with a man where it matters most… his heart.
‘Have The Relationship You Want‘ helps women improve their love lives when their relationship is experiencing problems and feel distance with their man. This book teaches women how to make him fall in love and commit, and how to reconnect their relationships and marriages… getting romance back in their lives.
It also provides you with tool after tool to improve relationships. You will be able to use them right away to transform your love life practically overnight – whether you’re single, in a relationship, or married.
Review More Great Advice From Rori Raye Located Here at Attraction Transformation:
- Love Advice for Women: Soft Love In The Kitchen - Rori thinks back at a time in the kitchen with her husband and how she she learned how much she loves herself, and how much he loves her soft self. This post and my opinion also deals with insecurity, small fights, big fights, taking things too personal, and loving yourself.
- Stop Overfunctioning And Start Getting The Love You Want - In this post Rori Raye talks about overfunctioning. Which is a term she uses when women focus too much on the small things and not the big ticket items: Affection, Great Sex, Harmony, Negotiate, Fun Peace, Trust, Emotional Safety. You must read this if you find those small things in your relationship seems to overwhelm you.
- Take Yourself From “Insecure” To Magnetic – Fast - Rori talks about fear, men getting it, our frustration with men, a mans emotions, feeling safe, and the choices we really have in our relationships. You can choose to read this or not. But I feel if insecurity rules you life or relationship you can learn about your choice over fear by reading this amazing post.
- The Highway Of Love - Which road will you choose? Fear. Adventure. Happier. Or will you stick to the the familiar or comfortable? If you feel lost or afraid you’ll love this post. Rori Raye lays it all out with intuitive creative thinking. This post is about you!
- Relationship Advice for Women: Compassion And Love - Literally, verbally express compassion to each part, each voice. As you do this, your Resistance to feeling will soften. Just a little softening is enough to get you in the soup. And from there, you can sail your ship anywhere. Love, here we come!
- Are You Chasing Him And Don’t Even Know It? – Are you patient when it comes to dating men. Do you feel you have to chase a guy to keep his interest? If so, let him take the lead read these tips first.
- Are You Chasing Him And Don’t Even Know It? – Are you patient when it comes to dating men. Do you feel you have to chase a guy to keep his interest? If so, let him take the lead read these tips first.
- A Simple Shift That Makes You Instantly More Attractive – When you over think it with a man you feel attracted to your energy becomes drained. He senses the shift. Here’s a quick tip to boost your attraction back up and increase your self-esteem.
Top Relationship or Intimacy Alternative Advice Outside of Attraction Transformation:
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