How to ask a girl for a date…
Most guys have a tough time when it comes to the point where he needs to ask her for a date. It’s intimidating to put yourself in front of a woman and give her the power to reject you. Well, I’ll tell you right now that you don’t need to suffer that kind of intimidation ever again.
There’s a simple secret here, and if you use it, it will increase your success rate by 100%.
Are you ready?
DON’T ask her for a date.
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That’s right, you heard me. Don’t ask for a “date.” If you do, you’ll only be triggering a defense mechanism in her mind that goes something like this:
He asks her: “Hey, what are you doing next Tuesday? Want to go on a date?”
She thinks:
- He wants a date with me…
- That’s flattering …
- But I’m afraid he’ll want more …
- And he’ll want sex …
- And then I’ll get hurt, like all the times before …
- Better avoid that pain right now…
- I’ll just come up with an excuse, or I’ll accept and back out later.
“Thanks for asking, but I’m not looking for a relationship,” she says.
You nod your head, not knowing what to say, and walk away, shot down again.
Unless she really likes you a lot right from the start (hard to do in just a five minute conversation), a date seems like too much too soon to her.
Instead of asking her for something predictable and scary like a date, try this:
“Hey, you know, you seem like you might be fun to hang out with. I’m going to Chalkers next week to do play some pool with some friends. Give me your home phone number, and I might invite you along for a game or two.”
Why does this work?
- You don’t say “date.“
- You don’t make it definite, which is less pressure.
- You make it a cheap, fun experience that she would want to participate in.
If you already have her phone number, you simply call her and tell her that you’re going to play some pool, and to meet you there for some fun. And you tell her if she’s really fun, you might buy her a beer. Maybe.
If you ask women out on dates too early, you’ll be broke and depressed in no time at all. Why would you spend over fifty bucks on a dinner and a movie (and that’s the cheapest you’ll get away with these days) with a woman you might NEVER see again? That you might not even get a kiss from?
You want to ask her to accompany you on adventurous, thrilling meetings, where she knows she’s going to have FUN. Not “dates.“
When she has fun, she starts to lower her defenses and let you in. If you approach a woman with an obvious agenda of “dating” her, then it’s pretty obvious that you’re going to expect sex later on. She would eventually want that, too, but she wants to trust you first. You need to shortcut past this and get her to trust you, and you do this by sneaking under her defenses.
So stop asking for dates, and start including her in your lifestyle.
You’ll get the opportunity to seduce her and get her attracted to you if you don’t make it too scary up front.
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Carlos Xuma is the real deal. He has worked his way to the top of my list of people in which I trust his advice in my dating life, but also I trust in the business world. His methods combines a unique blend of eastern philosophy, intelligence, and humor into all of what he produces. You can feel his passion and his drive and if you look around, you'l begin to see how invigorating his drive really is. If you pay close attention his attitude will not only inspire and encourage you, he will keep find a way to keep your energy high and truly motivate you with his words.
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