The Approach is a wonderful collection of articles to make meeting, dating, and attracting easier for men and women which also includes a little on relationships and commitments.
Some of them are hand-picked by me, Peter White – others were not written by me and I try to make that as clear as possible for you.
What started out as a quick explanation of what this web site is about turned into a long discussion about dating, communication, and how it’s all related to each other with lots of tips and my personal advice on EXACTLY how you can MEET and communicate attraction to your next date… who I know is waiting for you.
Here’s what covered today with the quick links to all the sections:
How The Approach Started – My Story – What Makes Me An Expert – Opinions.
Here’s the thing:
I grew tired and annoyed by “magazine” style sites full of ads who have little to offer and put a dollar amount on clicks instead of content and so I set out to offer an alternative where information and content is ALWAYS first.
Aside from my unique dating perspective and the advice I give to men and women – the articles or posts which have been chosen were written by the producers of their products they wish to sell you and were cleared for me to post here.
The links to their products are my personal affiliate links so please ALWAYS do your research before you buy AND please read my disclaimer slash disclosure so you know exactly how it all works. Please keep all the in mind as you browse through the hundreds of (basically) ad free content.
Let’s be completely and upfront about it all…
There’s a strong possibility if you go through every piece of free advice here you WILL learn an amazing amount of information on the usual suspects: meeting, dating, attraction, relationships, communication, etc…
I’m hoping you will never have to visit another site but it will happen.
Some of you may wish to purchase a deeper education and I’m all for it.
I scrounged the internet years ago on how to attract women but eventually bought a few things myself because I felt I needed it. If you don’t, that’s cool. If you do – that’s cool too. Just please don’t let a few dollars stop you from going through it because it’s worth every penny.
Trust the cost ALWAYS outweighs the benefits when you compare how much money we all tend to throw away on stuff we don’t need but want – I’m not different to a certain extent.
But enough about the cash…
I am technically NOT a writer, never have been, and probably never will be one.
I am a self-proclaimed dating & attraction expert and seem to do well when it comes to fixing a relationship or two.
Over the last decade I’ve gone from not one date for a decade or so to where I am today – happily married to the most amazing and beautiful women I’ve ever met!
But that doesn’t make me an expert, that just means I was willing and ready to make the necessary “adjustments” in my life (I think adjustments sounds better and is more agreeable to do than that ugly word “change”) – pick myself after falling on my face – and fix some things I fought hard against fixing… because I was stubborn and unwilling to GO there.
In the middle of my journey a lot of research and opinions came my way and I devoured every bit of it and integrated most of the real good stuff into my life.
Those combined – EXPERIENCE, KNOWLEDGE, and a very different perspective on life is what I believe allows me to call myself an EXPERT.
But you can call me whatever you want.
That all simply means – I don’t write lame articles to be passed around, I don’t publicize myself all that well, my social media skills are still in the eighties so you can say they’re lacking compared to you, and I’ve started to publish many of my ideas or concepts on dating and attraction but have yet to finish one.
Not because I’m lazy, although some would argue including me, but because as I quote a song which will certainly age me, sometimes it feels like “It’s all been done.” and so much of it is just re-hashed and packaged in a way to fit the modern view or needs of what they or you are willing to buy.
Great REAL advice is timeless and until I’m assured my thoughts are so radically than different from the experts have already produced – I’ll maintain my business matters as such and offer my SECRET mind thoughts to a select few which hopefully will include you someday.
My first endeavor was to help guys who have been through the same thing as me – a hopeless romantic nice guy who lacked in a real education on how attraction works.
DiaLteg as you guess it – is “get laid” spelled backwards but has evolved into a clever acronym: Dating Interactions Attraction Lifestyle Techniques Exercise Girlfriend.
If you know a guy who needs my help – send him there and I promise not to turn him into some jerk who is only out for sex and to screw women over. Check out the advice yourself and if you don’t agree with any of it – let me know about it.
Now – according to google, you’re not supposed to have duplicate content which makes a lot of sense and since I wanted visitors I bought this site (dialteg.org) to display articles from my affiliates and would refer to it as necessary.
Of course that changed when a very odd thing happened which I never expected…
WOMEN started showing up on my guys site and I wrote a few articles for them. Check them out here in the women category at dialteg – they’ve been re-written and they’re not that bad… any more. (Trust me they were awful at first and I still don’t understand how they did so well.)
I had this dialteg.org running and decided to put the women stuff over here and it really took off.
Except what I ended up with was a mish-mosh (is that even a real word?) for men and women that didn’t really go together.
With an apparent luck on my side I founded, bought, started hosting and writing exclusively for woman at Why Do Guys…?. (I had to separate the two.. too many fights… joking… It just made more sense.)
And yet to my surprise it (Why Do Guys…?) became larger and this site just kept landing searches which mean a lot of extra work but worth it. That’s for sure.
And that’s how THE APPROACH came to be what it is today… for men and women and what you now see as I try to balance it all.
By the way ALL three website are still run the way as intended and mentioned in the beginning. Not pop up ads or cheap click baiting techniques. When I get paid for a sale without a refund – it’s on the entire package. I will not accept pennies just from click where YOU don’t get the benefit of knowledge, education, real advice, and content first.
My thoughts were to make this area (the approach) mainly about meeting and dating but found that difficult because you can only say so much and quite honestly there’s so much on approaching out there for men and so little real advice for women out there – I would only reach a very few unless I invested the ton of money the big sites have which I obviously don’t or maybe ever care to have.
My approach to life is run the same way I do my business and give my advice or opinions:
Simple – maybe a little over-worded – practical – honest – REAL with no flashing lights or shiny things to distract you or I from learning the TRUTH…
Which comes from a genuine openness to LISTEN first and to debate after; not to just agree on something BUT to LEARN something new and exciting because if you ask me – the world is filled with smart, intelligent, exciting people who have at least ONE great thing to share and probably a lot more too.
And I want to hear and take it ALL in.
Which includes YOU!
How do I know that?
I don’t but I’m assuming if you’re still reading this, if you made it this far and soaked up all of my boring stuff… by now you’re either really curious as to where I’m going with it all and because smart people tend to be a bit nosy (I mean curious) PLUS you went out looking for an ANSWER which brought you here (or your friend told you I know my stuff and how cool I am) AND whenever I see someone seeking knowledge or answers – in my book, that’s make them one of the smartest persons in the world.
Don’t worry you don’t have to agree and maybe that’s a good thing if we both can learn something from out little disagreement.
The Approach – Meeting & Attracting Your Next Date…
Now of course dating is supposed to lead somewhere, isn’t that the point? So why did I leave off the rest in the title?
Well partly because if it’s too long it gets kind of weird and honestly, finding the right keywords drives me crazy; especially since I have to compete with millions of other web sites trying to do the same thing.
But as I have found myself thinking about it and what it all means this is what I’ve come up with to explain it.
Meeting the right person for you…
Going on a date which is fun…
Making that real connection and learning about the other person…
It’s not always that easy, is it?
Something about it just feels so unnatural and if you consider our real human history back to sticks and stones which I imagine to be long chants at night by a warm fire… BACK THEN it WAS a natural thing.
Today – we have to fit it in with our modern way of life making it far from casual or even needed on top of our daily thrive to survive or be lucky enough to find happiness amidst it all.
Making it FEEL very strange and as far from organic or natural as you can get.
BUT a relationship… yeah… you must admit when you FIND the right person EVERYTHING just seems to fall into place like it was MEANT TO HAPPEN.
My private personal thoughts on that part – getting to the relationship comes from my own experience of, when I first met my wonderful wife, it felt like we have been together before AND I’m not a believer in fate or Deja Vu making it all that more powerful in my mind. (But we can get into that later if it’s something you would like to hear about it.)
Easy… getting into a great relationship…? I hear you.
The men are thinking YES!!
They (mostly) agree with me and since I’m a guy I “would” think that way, right? After all, isn’t the typical or general findings that men are the ones who fight off the commitment at first and women are the ones who are pushing it or looking for it.
The women are screaming… NO!!!
They certainly disagree because well, that’s very generally the biggest problem a single woman might have in dating – finding a great guy she enjoys being with and feels something powerful for who actually wants a commitment AND is ready for it too.
Hear me out.
Do these things I’m going to list below and I can practically GUARANTEE a relationship will come easy – in fact it will land right on your lap so you best be prepared to notice when it does happen for you.
Be happy with yourself and who you are, the best you can at any given moment.
Be objective with yourself. Learn the truth about yourself inside your heart and mind.
Don’t be afraid of change and if you are – do what I wrote above and instead, just be willing and open enough to YOURSELF. Make the right ADJUSTMENTS in your life so you feel relatively complete and happy with yourself.
Take some risks that are not deadly but push you to face a few of your long-term fears you’ve been avoiding in your life up until now.
LEARN about ATTRACTION and how it works for the opposite sex or the sex of the person you feel the most for but do it in a way with an open mind and not in a way “yeah right” attitude.
In other words be POSITIVE and always find the good stuff hidden behind any negative which may come out or instantly appear in your mind.
As noted well above – this is my career or how my money is made – I get to recommend based on my knowledge and experience (or me being a self-proclaimed expert in dating and attraction) the ONLY two publications I feel are the least expensive but are proven to teach you the REAL TRUTH ABOUT ATTRACTION and how it works.
They’re actually easy to link you up with because I’ve gone through them myself.
Attraction for men who need to learn how attraction works for women.
This is exact Ebook which changed my life in every way imaginable. It explains how attraction works for women in a way which is backed by research, science, and practical knowledge which includes real-world skills so ANY guy – regardless of looks or money can trigger this completely natural feeling in women starting almost immediately.
Seriously I can not emphasize it enough – within a week of reading it – I was finally CREATING ATTRACTION in women instead of just making another friend which I “hoped” that she would by some magic force feel something for me.
You can not CONVINCE a woman to feel something but you can trigger it quite easily.
If you’re not ready or know who he is then sign up to his newsletter right here and give him a chance: David DeAngelo. Of course the newsletter is always free.
I’ve posted up lots of David’s best articles at DiaLteG TM – David DeAngelo – The Best Expert In Dating & Attracting Great Women.
It’s right here: Attraction Isn’t A Choice Ebook and Special Offer
Attraction for women who need to learn how real attraction works for men.
I’m convinced you know how to trigger a man’s physical attraction, it comes natural to you, but there’s more to a man’s attraction than just what he sees. If don’t understand that or know what the second stage is – this is the one Ebook that’s going to show you what is really going on inside a man’s mind beyond the physical part.
It’s more than just a “how to” book – it’s the explanation you’ve been looking for in triggering his REAL attraction beyond what you may be accustomed to experiencing.
(If you’re not sure what I’m talking about with regards to first and second stage attraction, I explain it all in a recent post: When A Guy Imagines You Naked – What You Wear & His Two Stages of Attraction.)
As stated for the guys above – if you don’t know who he is or if you feel you’re ready yet, just sign up to his newsletter here: Christian Carter. It’s also free.
I’ve also posted up lots of his great advice articles here at the approach which I’m more than happy to share with you: Christian Carter Knows What Every Man Wants From A Woman And Why
The secret to triggering his REAL attraction is here: Catch Him & Keep Him – Ebook or Audio or Both.
Where & How To Meet Your Next Date.
While you’re having fun with yourself and going through what’s just been covered (sexual pun slightly intended) MEET people in a way I propose in an article I enjoyed writing for everyone. How & Where To Meet Your Next Date & Getting Out Of Your Own Way
(And yes, it works for men and women so I changed it to a dare I now say gender neutral check box.)
#1: Write down everything you love to do.
#2: Write down the places you feel the best while you’re there. The places where you feel you’re the happiest and emotionally ALIVE in every sense of the word.
#3: Write down where your type of person would be doing the things THEY love to do.
Take a look at both lists.
Are you doing the things you love or did your list consist of things you WANT to do but never make the time?
If so – THAT needs to change starting NOW.
MAKE that list HAPPEN immediately! Make it part of your new reality
AFFIRM with yourself right now the truth about dating and meeting people and life in general…
“I have NO expectations doing anything I love aside from just ENJOYING being there because it makes me HAPPY!”
This is how life works.
This is how it all comes together.
Remove ANY and all pressure and you’ll be free from all the mind-chatter and you’ll FEEL BETTER.
I can almost 100% guarantee the next love of your life won’t be WHERE you expect to find him or her so STOP LOOKING and LET it happen.
You’re going to meet the love of your life when you least expect it and I just want you to be ready and in a great mood when that moment comes your way.
Expectations – having goals – working towards something is great all BUT putting so much emphasis on the outcome makes it extremely difficult to enjoy the present moment.
Enjoy the process.
Live in it.
Immerse yourself in having fun and being in a great mood.
Transfer that over to the people you run into and he or she will appear.
When you least expect it in the place you least expected it too.
This is how life works.
Be ready for it and STAY IN THE MOMENT.
“You can always tell someone who’s truly in the moment because they seem so calm, accepting, centered, and enlivened. They make you feel good to be around. You know that, when they’re with you, they really are WITH YOU – not off somewhere in their own little world where you can’t follow.”
Next we have…
The Secret to EASY Relationships That Happen Naturally… COMMUNICATION!
I say it a lot and always will because it’s the single most important piece of living.
Whether it’s communicating or talking to yourself open and honestly or if it’s communicating to your child, Mother, Father, Boss, jerk down the street, cute cashier, sexy waitress, flight attendant which yes I still call stewardesses (shame on me) and of course YOUR NEXT DATE, your communication skills will make all the difference.
Once you learn this amazing skill…
Which trust me, no lie, learning it is a never-ending process so be prepared for the life-long lesson and ENJOY learning it (unless you want to make life tougher for you).
Again: Once you get a handle on the many forms of communication…
When you MEET that person, the RELATIONSHIP will unfold just as it is instinctively designed to happen. It will naturally fall into place just as it was meant to be.
Yes as if was MEANT TO BE!
(Any guy who is struggling with this please go through my get a girlfriend steps at DiaLteG TM . You get all the steps needed and it finishes with forming natural relationships.It’s something you won’t find here at the approach.)
Before you get too excited – it’s not easy… sort of. For some it is, for others it’s a battle. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t fight with yourself over it too. You can take it as far as you want to go or not. It’s entirely up to you BUT…
If you want to land the love of your life and get to all the fun mushy parts and through the tough times to whatever you feel is your ultimate goal of living with purpose…
There is ABSOLUTELY no way around it – you MUST LEARN COMMUNICATION SKILLS above and way beyond just talking to people.
ANYONE (well okay most…) can just talk to someone.
BUT I guarantee if you’re not getting most of what you want out of your life – this “just talking to people” is probably all you’re doing. IN other firm but honest words…
You are NOT communicating the right way and the right things.You’re in essence, doing it WRONG.
And as a little side note – if you now feel like screaming at me for what I just said, (telling you that you’re doing it wrong and have done it wrong) that’s okay. It’s GOOD to FEEL and wade through all your emotions and thoughts until you reach a final conclusion.
Think about HOW or in what way will you communicate those FEELINGS to me over what I just said AND you’ll find out quickly just how good at communicating you are – right?
There’s no need to get into how you respond to what you feel are threats to your personal beliefs or thoughts or how you first react to confrontation – just yet.
There are many forms of communication and since I’m not writing a doctrine thesis on the matter here or anywhere, I’ll keep it simple and related to what’s been discussed so far – dating, attraction, and relationships.
The first is and will always be….
What You Must Communicate to YOURSELF & How.
Seriously, think hard about how you talk AND LISTEN to what your heart and mind is telling you. (I use heart and mind a lot because it represents our forever arguing brain as it contends with LOGIC and FEELINGS even though I know it’s one unit.)
Some call it being in touch with your feelings and that’s fine by me. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.
Maybe it’s a mixture of lots of things which guide our INTUITION (For women you can read about that here: 6 Ways To Use The Magic Of Intuition and Get To Know The Real Him.)
It could be done through affirmations or positive thoughts OR the complete opposite as in constant self-doubt and unfounded fears which feel all too real.
It’s certainly can be a complicated and messy affair with lots of opinions and beliefs thrown everywhere because EVERYONE has their own views on their thoughts AND because talking to ourselves is something we ALL do to sort it all out.
Whatever your style of communication is to yourself you must admit the huge role it plays in your life everyday and how it’s shaped you from day one.
You must also realize how it shapes your beliefs to your very core.
So by some very easy transitive thinking – HOW you communicate to others will ALWAYS start with how you communicate to yourself making it a very important first step in achieving any kind of transformation, change in ourselves, or yes – better yet ADJUSTMENTS that need to be made AND a clue into what adjustments must be done if any at all.
As I’ll now state as if I’m some sort of genius knowing full well somebody said it first…
To become truly intimate with another we must FIRST become intimate with ourselves.
— Peter White (@PeterWhite125) January 27, 2019
What a crazy “can of worms” I’ve opened up here, right?
In another ten thousand words I could possibly teach you the best way to do it based on my beliefs but I won’t, can’t, or choose not to because just maybe I haven’t figured it all out – just yet OR could it be the lazy thing again? Either way no time to “communicate to myself” about it right now.
Here are a few of my helpful tips to start communicating to yourself better and more positively…
And suggest you seek the full details through my amazing powers of suggestion. (My recommendations of course.)
TIP 1: STOP being so freaking hard on yourself.
Seriously. You’re not that bad so stop treating yourself that way.
If you’re constantly judging yourself you’re not communicating the right way to yourself and you’ll only communicate THAT to other people.
If you’re constantly belittling yourself and making yourself feel bad that needs to stop now.
You’re probably a nice person too, right? I’ve found most are – then follow the rules you set for others unto yourself…
Don’t do or say things to yourself that you wouldn’t dare tell someone else.
NO. It’s not okay to call yourself names because it’s you saying it.
How and why is that even a real excuse to make yourself feel bad. You’re not being honest with yourself because you already know who you are – therefore you’re just being MEAN.
TIP 2: Learn to LET some things GO.
Now I don’t want you to take this and run with it on everything. Some things need to be taken care of and I think you know, in fact I’m POSITIVE you know the difference.
The little things up to even some major things… let them go!
You didn’t get that promotion. You didn’t have fun on that date. You didn’t win the lottery. That really cool guy didn’t call you back. That cute girl didn’t smile back at you…
Let them go.
Constantly over-thinking and over-analyzing everything isn’t healthy and will only bottle you up inside.
If it’s something you know to be manageable but you just can’t get past it – try my “strangest dating advice you’ll ever read which I reveal in one of my newsletters…
It’s called “So WHAT!”
You can read all about it here: Should You Text Him Again Just to Make Sure?
Sorry guys it was written for women but the advice works for you too.
The more introspective you are – the less listening you’ll do – the less aware and in the moment you’ll be AND the less you’ll be able to communicate to others.
Don’t hold on to things. Don’t bury them deep either.
Deal with them as they come but instead of forgetting about them – replace them with some real good-hearted fun and laughter and they will go away.
Tip 3: Don’t be afraid of your feelings and follow your thought process to the end.
This may seem like the opposite of the last one, as I’m telling you something contradictory only to confuse you and make me look like smart … but I assure you – I’m not that clever.
You need to be in touch with your feelings IF you’re to communicate them to someone else.
This is where you discover all the dirty little secrets you’ve hidden from yourself so you can finally realize or conclude – they’re not as bad as you think they are or were.
Up above – let it go – is simply a way of removing some baggage you’ve carried around with you.
This tip is about discovering WHO you are and to get you to START LISTENING to YOURSELF.
Trust – it works amazingly well under most even abnormal thoughts.
Remember above when I said to stop belittling yourself or being mean to yourself? Hard to do, isn’t it?
Well now it’s not IF you go through the entire thought process and get it all out; at which time you’ll be ready and capable of letting it go forever.
Those are MY three (sort of) BEST tips on communicating with yourself better so you can move on to the other two forms.
Here’s why I can offer you some deeper material in hopes you’ll follow through with them and truly learn how to talk with yourself.
Communicating With Yourself For Women.
If it’s not obvious by now I’ll tell you. The benefit of learning to communicate with yourself is an unconditional love of yourself which in turn makes others love you in the same way.
The tips I wrote above will help you to get in touch with ALL your feelings and to accept who are in a way that is positive and productive. They’re simple, efficient, and the work.
BUT sometimes you have to dig deeper and this is what Gay will show you how to do with an unbelievable resource filled proven techniques and exercises, more than just tips, so you can put it all to use in your life starting immediately and ending with a better way to communicate with yourself.
If you’re not ready or don’t know who Gay Hendricks is then of course you can subscribe to Hearts In Harmony to Katie & Gay Hendricks Phd. wonderful newsletter here. For free of course.
They specialize in mainly relationships and communicating in them but if you’re interested I have a few posts by them here: Katie and Gay Hendricks – Hearts In Harmony – Making Love Last
Here the link where you can check it out in full detail to help you decide if it’s something you really need in your life: Learning To Love Yourself – The Steps to Self-Acceptance, The Path To Creative Fulfillment
Men Communicate with themselves effectively by getting what is commonly called Inner Game.
Typically men and women share self-conscious thoughts and BOTH can benefit from my three tips above BUT it’s been proven that trying to teach a guy to “love himself” gets you a quiet response the crickets couldn’t even bear.
This just means men must be shown differently and it must relate to their specific fears and anxieties which causes the “breakdown” of communication with themselves.
You’ll learn to build your self-esteem, re-adjust your beliefs, overcome rejection, build your self-confidence, get past your anger & anxiety, and it ALL centers around making sure your “self-talk” or communication with yourself HELPS you to communicate to women and allow her to FEEL attracted to you easily and naturally.
On other words – no games, tricks, lies, or being someone you’re not. You’ll take your real self and build a stronger self and learn how to connect it to women.
Written of course by my mentor David DeAngelo. If you’re not ready or know who he is then sign up to his newsletter right here and give him a chance. Of course the newsletter is always free.
I’ve posted up lots of David’s best articles at DiaLteG TM – David DeAngelo – The Best Expert In Dating & Attracting Great Women.
We can now safely move on to the second form of communication…
How You Communicate To Others More Effectively.
You saw this one coming and some of you just wanted to jump right to it – please don’t – trust it’s a lot easier to learn how to talk with yourself first and then use some of those techniques on others after AND since you’re always you – you can practice anytime you like with no consequences.
(Besides it easier for me to talk about the last one which means writing all this is going to get a lot tougher. Wish me luck!)
Let’s back it up a little and see how far we’ve come today.
Meeting and dating the sex of your choice is tough because for most it feel unnatural or forced in our modern way of life. It’s feel far from simple anymore.
Don’t worry too much about creating attraction – learn as much as you can about how it happens, practice and/or perfect your communication skills and attraction pretty much takes care of itself. (Mostly. I won’t lie for some it’s a battle which may need a little extra work.)
Moving from eye contact into a relationship is EASY when you’ve taken care of the details leading up to one because it will unfold naturally… most of the time. If you fight it or force it then you’ve got another problem on your hands. But let’s not go there today.
How you communicate to others is something which will ALWAYS transfer over to a relationship so learning some skills in this area will better your chances of enjoying a happier and more fulfilling relationship.
Communication IS communication and although you wouldn’t talk to your husband or wife in the same way you would to your child or friend – the techniques can be considered related enough to be the same… somewhat meaning:
Attractive communication will generally have a sexual edge to it which includes many forms of flirting and creating some sexual chemistry or sparks that you’ll hopefully not experience with someone you shouldn’t be talking to in “that” way.
The first “general” rule here is (remember we’re discussing how you would communicate to a date or potential date or someone you’re sexually interested in and so some things will be related in that way but some of this goes for everyone) …
ACTIVELY LISTENING to what the other person is saying AND feeling.
You’ve done the first part – you learned to talk to yourself and process all your thoughts and now it’s time to shut it off while someone is trying to communicate to you.
You can not talk attractively to another (real attraction) if you’re not hearing WHAT they’re saying.
Keeping in mind THEY might not how to communicate what they’re feeling to you so don’t always expect it to happen.
The second rule is…
Showing a real GENUINE interest in what they’re saying or the feelings they’re trying to communicate to you in any given moment.
Acknowledge what it is and do so in the appropriate way. Meaning you’re not going to laugh when someone is telling you a sad story so this part should come naturally to you.
Again EASY stuff when you’re not stuck inside your head over-thinking or when your mind is someplace else – making the “stay in the moment” a critical piece of “attractive conversations” and effective communication.
Notice a pattern here? I hope so because it’s very important.
What IF you’re not interested in what they’re saying?
What IF they don’t know how to communicate effectively to you?
What IF you just don’t care?
Should you fake it – pretend you’re interested?
Well that would depend on your choice entirely.
Obviously if you’re on a date with a guy who is not doing it for you or some woman who won’t shut up about her bad day at work and she’s talking about it on the first date – then sure – smile a lot, grit your teeth, get through it the best you can and it’s your choice to not see them again BUT…
Is that really the RIGHT thing to do OR…
Here’s my thoughts and some agree, some don’t, some fight me on it, some will NEVER do what I’m about to say:
It’s actually YOUR responsibility to find a genuine interest in what the other person is saying to you IF you want to communicate effectively and create attraction with them and others too.
This means if someone is talking about something you couldn’t care less about – find an angle or way of looking at it which you DO have a genuine interest and lead it there.
I’m not saying to date them again or follow through with it if you don’t want to – I’m merely suggesting that by learning how to do that in those moments (explore a different angle to find a genuine interest) you will naturally become a more attractive person to others.
It’s a skill ALL naturally attractive charismatic people have. It’s a big reason others are drawn to them.
Sure it’s easy when they know how to do it and keep your interest but then you don’t have to learn THAT part, do you?
The HARD part is finding a real genuine interest and that’s the part which needs to be worked on.
Yeah – it’s not easy. I won’t lie about that. I’m certainly guilty of glazing over some dude in front of me who decided to tell me why he thinks some boring television show I’d never watched is the most amazing thing he has ever seen. BUT there’s ALWAYS a way to make it fun and interesting for both of you.
There are endless benefits to learning this “trick” up to AND including making you an extremely attractive person to be around. I won’t get into the rest but they’re there and they are all helpful in EVERY part of you life.
You’re going to hate what I’m about to say…
It’s YOUR responsibility to communicate what you’re saying or feeling to another no matter who that person is, how stubborn they are, how dumb you think they are, or how incredibly bad they are at communicating the same to you.
It’s YOUR responsibility to actively listen and find a real genuine interest in what someone else is trying to say or communicate to you.
It’s your responsibility to take care of the next rule…
Engage or interact with them in a way which is interesting and fun with regards to the context of the conversation.
Yep – I’m saying be INTERESTING yourself no matter how bad or good they are at it.
Interact with them in a way which encourages emotions in any way suited to your goal – dating, flirting, sex, etc…
GIVE them something rather than trying to GET something from them.
Whether it be a smile or a desire for you up to an answer they’ve been looking for IF they ask directly – it doesn’t matter.
Again – it’s the mark of a truly attractive person.
AND yes – it’s YOUR responsibility 100%.
Sorry – we’ve only touched on a little in how to communicate to others – again – this is not a dedicated e-book – just a little about what I know and a great place to begin to learn these skills.
I could link out to lots of articles and books to further your education but it would only clutter things up on confuse you PLUS I’d have to separate the men from the women and in doing so would certainly make a huge mess no one could follow anyways.
AND I realize some of you want more specific information on communicating while you’re in a relationship and some of your want to know how to do it while you’re dating around – making it again a an area to large to cover.
I do hope what I’ve shown you so far has given you some insightful often overlooked tips you can start using immediately because they do work. They’ve worked for me and the others I’ve helped along the way.
Leave me a message below on what I can suggest and I’ll do my best to help you out the best I can.
I will say that every REAL publication on attracting men and women (the ones with the real advice) DO contain communication skills because it’s the root of it all and if you find one that doesn’t – return it because it’s not worth your money.
You’ll find every article I post (unless I haven’t gotten around to deleting some of the old trash) my recommendation covers these things or else it’s coming down.
Going Deeper Down The Road Of Communication – Communicating Attractively.
We’ve explored communicating to yourself and a little on communicating to others and how they go hand in hand with each other or how you just can’t extract one from the other – they work together. You can not work on one and not the other.
There’s another piece of the puzzle which has been eluded to but not mentioned too directly.
HOW you communicate YOURSELF to others and HOW to communicate yourself in a way which is more attractive.
These are (mostly) my ideas – brilliant or not – obvious or not – I’m not sure but it’s the way I see it or have come to realize it over my lifetime of experiences.
You have yourself – work on it. Build or “adjust” a more stable, happy, fulfilled complete version of yourself on any day in any certain moments.
Now you must find a way to attractively communicate yourself to others in a way which is not so direct.
Meaning you don’t just TELL someone you’re great – you show them indirectly.
AND the best way to have that happen is to allow them to come to their own conclusions about you based on their personal beliefs and unique thought process.
There are may ways to make that happen and most of them don’t require much effort at all. They only require you to DO things or TALK a little differently than you may have in the past.
This becomes your STYLE of communication.
This is where others feel comfortable talking to you.
This is why people enjoy being around you.
This is HOW you create enormous amounts of attraction.
This is how you amplify or encourage another to desire you and want to spend lots of time with you.
This is where you CONNECT with others in a way others might not have done before which leads to the ultimate prize of it all…
This is how you END UP TOGETHER!
HOWEVER there’s a little more to it which is often missed and causes so many future relationships problems for way too many people. It’s a shame these things happen when it can be avoided so easily.
HOW you communicate yourself and in the manner in which you interact with the sex you desire (I love saying that) MUST be done in a way which naturally and indirectly QUALIFIES that person to YOUR needs or goals or standards that you’re looking for in a partner.
Yes. It just got REAL in here. Yeah – I was hoping that didn’t come out of my mouth but it did – so it’s out there already.
Which means you must KNOW what those standards or needs are, right?
Which is why you must know yourself, your needs, your feelings, your standards, and what you’re looking for in a partner BEFORE you can or should fully commit to another soul.
AND learning how to do all that must be a very real part of your education if you’re to meet, date, attract, and get yourself in that “meant to be” situation cover in the beginning.
I told you the relationship part is easy and comes natural – the rest – well that’s just a mindful of anything and everything.
And all this and that happens while they’re doing the same to you.
You know yourself a little better.
You know what you’re looking for in a partner or where they might be hanging out.
You know how to meet them or how it will accidentally happen along the way.
You’re a little better at talking to yourself in a positive way and helps to get you in touch with your feelings, your intuition, your needs, etc..
You’re a little better at talking to others in a way which stimulates them (attractively or not depending on what’s going on) and engages them interactively because you’ve been paying attention and listening to them, AND you know it’s YOUR responsibility to do appropriately.
You learned a little on how you must communicate yourself to others in an indirect way which allows them to FEEL something for you naturally. All of you, the good, the bad, the great, and everything in between.
AND you’re also realizing (because I haven’t helped you in this area) that all this communicating in dating or whatever must do so in a way which qualifies the perfect partner for you.
It’s enough to drive you crazy but as you look around my three websites, along with the advice and comment answers I’ve given over the years – you WILL find EXACTLY how it can be made simple – especially when you’re lucky enough to land on the right page at the right time.
Trust me – it’s all there with the exception that if you want to go deeper – sorry to say that costs money. Not a lot for some. Too much for others. But it’s all there and you’ll find the one PERFECT for YOUR needs… eventually.
(Or just ask below for me to help you find the one for you. Stay away from asking personal questions. Asses or objectify your problem and then tell me what you need.)
I’m feeling generous – or maybe I just feel bad at leaving this very large subject of attractive communication out there dangling – probably the latter – AND I just remembered I can help you get a good handle on what I’m talking about like this:
How To Have Attractive Conversations With Men.
Hope the title doesn’t mislead you too much. The Ebook is 35 pages long and shows you how to have attractive/qualitative conversations with men.
It’s spun in a way to make you believe you can make a guy obsess over – it’s possible, that I’ll admit BUT the reality is: It’s just a great Ebook filled with useful tips and tools on having great attractive conversations with guys.
And it’s free – stored on my hosting site. Click on the link above or image. It’s a .pdf file.
To go further with the penguin approach – follow the link in the Ebook or watch their video here: Controversial Loophole To Chemically Alter A Man’s Brain To INSTANTLY Adore and Commit To You… Forever.
Attractive Conversations With Women.
Bobby Rio has excelled in teaching guys how to talk to women the right way so I turned to him to help you out. It’s 23 pages long and should definitely get you started in the right direction.
He’s allowed me to post lots of great advice at DiaLteG TM. You can start with this interview. Bobby Rio Interview – Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy.
Obviously the Ebook is free but if you want to watch his “private” video – and see if there’s any current promotions going on – either follow the link in the book or watch this: Weird Flirting Trick – Make Small Talk Sexy.
Qualifying Your Future Partner the Right Way.
I’m going to finish this section with qualification because it’s too important to overlook in dating and getting into a happy relationship.
In simple terms – qualifying your future partner is just a fancy way of assuring your date is the actual person you’re looking for and they meet your needs based on your time-table.
What makes it difficult is that if you just can’t ask someone these kind of questions because you won’t get the real answer most of the time.
It must be done in a way which has it all come out naturally and done so in a way which satisfies all these rules of communication. Making it a little, no… a lot confusing to figure out on your own. (Granted some do it naturally. Maybe you know someone who does who can help you out.)
It must be, as noted above, done in a way that’s attractive too – in case that person happens to be your ONE – you don’t want to scare them away with yes or no questions as if you’re interviewing them for a job. (Even though when you think about it – you sort of are doing just that; but you’re interviewing a life partner.)
The two books above will help you a little with it.
Rather than getting into the whole subject I’ll push the guys over to a few very long but great articles on how to do it and give the women something special to seriously consider picking up.
Qualifying A Better Woman For You.
Attracting Women Nice Guy Tip 4 – How To Stop Disqualifying Yourself because a good start in qualifying another you have to make sure you’re not disqualifying yourself to them at the same time (the concept goes for women too but the article is written for guys) AND Are You Qualifying Her? – Attracting Women & Better Relationships.
Qualifying A Better Man For You.
Finders Keepers is a really cool inexpensive tool you can use to assure your needs match up to his needs and vice-versa.
You’re taught 12 characteristics to qualify a guy who make a great partner for you and you’re given an exercise to see what yours are too.
It teaches you how to evaluate (qualify) a potential partner which can be helpful in so many ways as in avoiding the wrong guy or wasting your time on one AND how you can do it all even on the first date.
Just real practical advice which won’t take you long to master. Combine it all with your new communication skills and dating will be a rewarding experience rather than a grueling not-looking-forward-to event you just want to get over with as quickly as possible.
You’ll also get a SELF-EVALUATION QUIZ and a QUICK-REFERENCE GUIDE to help you understand and recognize, develop, and cultivate the 12 characteristics outlined in Dr. Randi’s program.
If you’re not ready or don’t know who Dr. Randi Gunther is, please subscribe to his free newsletter here and I’m sorry I have not articles posted up by him.
Some last words on qualification…
Just please make sure you’re doing it on every date or interaction you have with someone who might be a potential date.
Done right – attractively and not rudely – instantly tells the other person that you value yourself highly, you have real standards, and you’re not willing to compromise on the bigger things if it means that your don’t care about yourself.
Trust this is not a matter of becoming arrogant and you certainly won’t or shouldn’t use it in a negative way (because I do see lots of men and women who don’t know how to do it right and all they do is make themselves appear worse than they really are.)
This is NOT meant to pretend you’re better than others or falsify your confidence by putting others down.
That is far from what qualification of your future partner is and will ever be.
It’s simply a matter of using your communication and conversational skills to better your chance of finding the as-close-as-you-can PERFECT partner for you.
Let’s tackle this last part and finish this main page at The Approach.
Body Language, Facial Mannerisms, and Vocal Tonality.
Okay…. so far it’s been about rules or whatever you want to call them and we’ve covered a lot. The ones we’re missing so far would be how you communicate with your body language, tone of voice, and your facial mannerisms. These will NOT be covered in much details here but hopefully they’ll be covered in the articles or pages I’m posting up later.
If you’re a guy and you want to learn about body language you can read my page at DiaLteG TM: How & Why Your Body Language Communicates Attraction To Women – Learn To Control It.
Body Language… for women?
I’m not sure why there isn’t too much out there on this subject for women. Probably because men aren’t as adapted to reading it so much what you do can slip by him unnoticed.
Me, since I’ve practiced my own and learned to read into so much it – I tend to look into an awful lot.
Whether you care to venture there and learn it yourself is up to you but I will make a few points…
Much of what you communicate to others is either reinforced or even started with your body language which if you ask me, IS a big deal IF you want to communicate anything to someone and have them actually believe you or respect what you’re saying to them.
Also – people unconsciously react to another person’s body language which creates a circle of follow the leader and a never-ending discussion likened to what came first, the chicken or the egg.
Meaning – if you display weak tentative and closed body language it makes it difficult on the person you’re talking with to feel like you’re even listening to them.
If they follow YOUR lead they too will come across to you in the same way.
If you’re fidgeting and acting nervous not only does the other person feel like you’re not interested in them – it makes it look like you’re hiding something or not being honest with them.
So you can see – even with just those few examples BODY LANGUAGE is a very important TOOL OF COMMUNICATION therefore a skill-set mastered by the most influential and attractive people in the world.
If you follow THEIR lead – a person with strong open communicative body language appears more attractive and you WILL become more influenced by them in ever way.
Seems to me this is something you can definitely use to ENHANCE your already now wonderful effective ways of communication AND increase your powers of persuasion.
Sure – some of you might be thinking – like what – you want me to wiggle my ass when I walk or flick my hair when I like a guy or lick my lips so he thinks about kissing me?
Well maybe for some parts yes – you must admit when you do the right things and it causes a guy to follow or do what you want him to do (to you or with you) then why shouldn’t you?
BUT for all extensive purposes of communication let’s not go there… today.
I’m mere advocating OPEN body language which relaxes people and makes them feel at ease and comfortable being around is a great way to start the attraction rolling AND a great way to get others to open up to you easier.
Something I’m sure women DO want from a guy they’re interested in dating.
If (as a woman because the guy part is covered above) you’re interested in it me doing some more research for you let me know below and I’ll see what I can do for you.
I’ll pass along a few REAL TIPS on your body language you can use and a few of my thoughts on the subject.
A calm quiet mind WILL come out in your body language. Mediate. Breathe. Practice relaxation techniques.
Clear your mind and your body will follow.
A person who exercises with purpose, intent, and the right way will tend to have a more confident stronger influential body language.
Clear your body and your mind will follow.
Be extremely comfortable and relaxed in your own skin.
Walk slowly with purpose like have ALWAYS have somewhere to go.
Speak with purpose and intent. Don’t waste your words – pause – … frequently.
Project yourself with strength and confidence.
Breathe from your diaphragm and speak from it too.
Focus on a slow methodically breath in and out when you want to relax.
Start paying attention to your body language just enough to catch yourself doing strange things which may be perceived as less the high-value person you are.
Pay close attention to other women’s body language when you feel they have IT and soak it in because it will rub off on you. You WILL start moving like them. It’s an inherent human instinctual trait.
Open your body up more (except the legs for women of course, that’s just not right). Avoid crossing your arms or looking closed off like you aren’t LISTENING because if you are into that person sitting across from you – make sure they see it.
Blink a little slower at times. Make them wait for it once in a while. Just don’t overdo it because honestly, it will creep people out.
Admit and understand YOUR body language can be easily transferred to others. Good or bad.
Be aware of your surroundings and look around casually as if wherever you are – you BELONG there.
Eliminate any nervous ticks or jittery motions you have the best you can.
That was more than I expected to give – hope they help you out.
Obviously when it comes to being SEXY for a woman the list will grow. There are so many “extra” things you can do to turn on a guy even with just a smile – your femininity is a VERY powerful tool in attracting men in the first stage and second stage too… all the way and through marriage too.
(I talk about the different stages of attraction men experience in this most recent post: When A Guy Imagines You Naked – What You Wear & His Two Stages of Attraction.)
Again – just let me know the kind of information, publications, or products you’re in search and might not be able to find and I’ll see what I can do for you.
Mannerisms and vocal tonality are pretty much covered in this “body language” section on communication so there’s no need to go there.
Not the End… But A New Beginning.
Wrapping it all up so you can start on your new journey with some new fresh ideas and a ton of new articles to read on meeting and attracting your next date.
Congratulations – you made it this far.
How I managed to keep your interest this long is beyond me but I won’t question it – I’ll just enjoy it for a moment and then get back to work making the approach a little better for everyone.
My work is not done and yours is hopefully starting in a new direction for the better.
Here it all is one last time:
Getting into a relationship (under most circumstances) happens naturally and don’t let anyone ever tell you anything different – including yourself.
Use the formula above to meet some new people and get out of your own way.
Let it happen and get out of your own way.
Learn what you can about how others experience attraction so you’re not left guessing and making mistakes which is so easily overlooked when you’re in the middle of it.
Communication is key to success in every part of your life – meeting, dating, and relationships are certainly no exception.
Learn how to communicate to yourself in a way which is positive and allows you to process ALL you feelings and thoughts so you can fully get in touch with yourself, your desires, and your needs.
Learn how to communicate with others which is enjoyable for both of you and use those (in the moment) interactions to qualify your future partner, give something to him or her or both, and so it creates attraction.
Body language is with no doubt a form of communication. It plays a bigger role than you might expect. Don’t get caught up in reading it – create it – live it – make sure you’re taking care of it which opens you up, makes other feel comfortable and ease being around you AND assures you’re a positive influence on those around you.
As stated well above – I am not a writer but I do hope my words have found a way to be understood in more ways than I can imagine AND has inspired you to look around here at the approach until you find exactly what you’re looking for today or even tomorrow.
The sidebar above has the usual stuff like expert featured pages, latest posts, and popular posts along with a search tool which can be very helpful. Something I’m sure you’re already well aware of anyways.
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I can not thank you enough for stopping by today and wish you all the best of luck and happiness with anything and everything you do.
In case you missed it…
My name is Peter White.
Please call me Pete.
“It’s my belief creating natural attraction is nothing more than how you communicate the belief you have in yourself.”