Written By Slade Shaw, Author of Why Men Pull Away
“Be the flame, not the moth.” – Giacomo Casanova
You might be on the lookout for that guy right now, just as he’s searching for someone like you. Or maybe you’re already in a relationship and you want to keep the flames of passion burning ferociously bright with your man.
Either way, you’d do well to learn the secrets to turning him on like crazy. If you can make him feel things he’s never felt with any other woman before, then he’s as good as YOURS.
She was like most women who stumbled in the dark when it came to men and dating. Tina, a real estate agent from Surrey, had trouble keeping a guy around.
Either he “needed space”, wasn’t “ready commit to something long-term” or had some equally lame excuse available. So she jumped from one relationship to the next and fell into the same patterns over and over.
After a few weeks of getting hot and heavy, the guy was soon out the door…
…and into another woman’s arms.
Her latest one was a colleague named Jeff – and like the others, things crashed and burned before it could even get off the ground. They had a few dates and seemed to have fun (especially in bed!), but it soon fizzled out like the others.
Jeff suddenly became unavailable, dodged Tina’s calls and messages…until he was out of the picture just like that.
After her last disappointment, Tina started to get desperate. She began to think there was something seriously wrong with her.
“My last REAL relationship was almost a decade ago, and I’ve gotten nothing but duds ever since. Maybe I pissed off the dating gods or something to deserve my rotten luck with men!”
However, Tina is anything but an isolated case. I’ve met – and helped – lots of women in the same boat as her.
And today, I’m going to let you in on the 10 Incredibly Effective Ways to Capture Your Guy’s Heart Forever:
#1: Please his eyes
When I tell you that you need to be physically attractive to capture his interest, that doesn’t means guys are shallow. This is what I call “getting your foot in the door.”
Sure, women might not prioritize looks as much as guys do. But you can’t deny that a man ALSO needs to be visually appealing on some level before feeling attracted to him.
That’s not right or wrong – it’s simply biology in action.
To flip those hardwired switches in him, you’ll need to put in the work.
Take note that has nothing to do with being “perfect”, because that’s a relative concept. Every guy has a “type” and there’s no ONE kind of woman that ALL men are into.
That means you WILL click with someone, one way or another.
All you need to do is take care of yourself, which is what you should be doing anyway regardless.
I could write a whole book about looking and feeling your best, but here’s a quick checklist to go over for now:
- First things first: paying attention to hygiene is non-negotiable, and so is staying fit and active. Grooming is a must, so don’t neglect the basic things either. Guys need to know you care about this stuff before seeing you as a potential partner.
- Flaunt your feminine side: experiment with different scents, keep your skin smooth and soft with lotions and use makeup when necessary (tip: less is more!).
- Have an impeccable sense of style: The right packaging sends the right signals to his caveman brain, so keep your clothes neat and pressed. Also, choose soft fabrics that accentuate your curves – they have a soothing appeal that’ll drive him crazy with desire!
#2: Create killer chemistry
To establish a strong connection with a guy (or strengthen it with a long-term partner), he needs to feel that he has a lot of common ground with you.
Does your personality and attitude give him the impression that he can open himself up to you?
And he can have conversations with you that seem to go on forever (but don’t feel that way)?
Does he feel like you “get” him on a level that’s deeper than anyone else he’s met?
Does your sense of humor jive with his, and do you laugh at the same dumb jokes?
Do you have a burning curiosity for each other? Does he want to pick your brain and know what makes you tick – and likewise for you?
If your personality and attitude can create that type of climate in the relationship, then you’re doing it right.
#3: Get him to trust you
A lot of women think that getting emotionally close with a guy is as easy as sleeping with him. But jumping into bed isn’t going to do the trick.
If he wasn’t sure about how he felt for you BEFORE doing the deed…
…he’ll feel all the more uncertain the morning after.
If you want to create an unshakable bond with your man, the first step is ACCEPTING him.
This is HUGE on a guy’s list – it might even be higher than sex, if not just as important.
A man wants to feel that their partner accepts them as who he is – NOT what she wants him to be.
Women don’t realize they do this in small ways, like giving him the raised eyebrow when it comes to the way he dresses. A few helpful suggestions are fine, but don’t go nuts and turn him into your personal makeover guinea pig.
The same goes for the stuff he’s into or the people he hangs out with. If it’s not getting in the way of your relationship, it’s not worth butting heads with him over it.
#4: Be his wing(wo)man
If you want him to see you as a partner and not just a one-time fling, you need to live up to the title. And to do that, he’ll need your SUPPORT.
If he’s going through a hellish time in his career or has stuff of his own to sort out, he’ll need to know you’ve got his back.
Men tend to withdraw a bit emotionally when they’re fighting some battle in their life, so don’t take it personally.
He’s just going into a one-track-mind mode so he can focus his energy on whatever he needs to deal with at the moment.
In the meantime, you can quietly assure him that you’ll be there for him. He’ll come back around after he wrestles those pesky problems into submission.
#5: Pull back
When a guy’s crazy about you, the best thing to do is make yourself scarce – but just a little bit. I’m not telling you to play the hard-to-get game where you’re blowing him off on purpose just to see him squirm.
That’s manipulation – and let me tell you, guys are NOT thrilled by that at all.
I’m just asking you not to “spoil” him too much and overindulge in the relationship.
Otherwise, it could throw off the balance in both your lives.
So where do you draw the line when it comes to pulling back?
An easy way to do this is by asking yourself, “Am I sacrificing my own growth, well-being or sense of individuality by hanging out too much with him?”
If your other priorities are out of whack – like your career, health or social life – then it’s time to rein yourself in a bit.
Let him miss you a little and get busy being the AWESOME woman that you are.
He’d rather have someone who isn’t available at his beck and call 24/7…
…as opposed to a clingy, lovesick puppy who lives and breathes for his approval.
#6: Inspire him to action
One thing that turns on a guy is the feeling of being NEEDED. You might be thinking, “What?? Didn’t you just tell me to be a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a guy to be happy?”
Well yes, but the operative word here is “feeling”.
Any guy worth your time knows darn well that you don’t actually NEED him to live a full life.
He just wants the privilege of being part of it anyway.
And if you let him play the game where he gets to indulge his more brutish, masculine side, he’ll love you for it.
Ask him to help you out with “guy stuff”, like moving some heavy stuff around, fixing something in the house, setting up your new computer or killing that bug that flew in your bathroom.
Or you could ask him for his expertise on something, like which smart TV has true 1080p resolution or how to invest in Bitcoin…you get the idea.
Men absolutely love knowing they can do this type of thing for their partner because that’s their “provider/protector instinct” kicking in.
#7: Let him do his thing
The couples who’ve been together the longest are those who understand that they can’t be together every second of the day.
This goes beyond what I said earlier about pulling back a little.
From time to time, he’s going to want to go off and express himself…
…and it won’t involve you.
Women who are, well, less mature, will have a hard time accepting this fact about men. But that’s exactly what you need to respect, which is his need for individuality and independence.
This factor alone can be a dealbreaker for most guys because they’re secretly afraid they’ll have to give those up once he commits to a woman.
So alleviate those fears and let him have his friends, hobbies and other side projects he’s working on.
#8: Take a chill pill
Another thing that guys are worried about is that their partner’s going to freak out when he cracks the occasional inappropriate joke or takes an off-day playing Grand Theft Auto on his PS4.
Essentially, guys are looking for that girl who won’t suck all the fun out of the relationship with her drama.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but that’s what guys are thinking – they just don’t have the nerve to tell you.
You can do this by keeping it cool when something unexpected happens, like canceled dinner plans on account of an emergency.
Or it could also mean not having unspoken, arbitrary rules in the relationship that force him to walk on eggshells around you.
You know, like not flipping out when he likes a female friend’s Facebook post or Instragram selfie – or on a bigger note, acknowledging the existence of other women in his life.
If you can pick your battles and let the inconsequential stuff slide, he’ll be all the happier for it.
#9: Don’t MAKE him fall in love with you
This may come as a surprise to a lot of women, but you can’t actually tell a guy what to think or feel…
…especially when it comes to deciding whether to commit to someone or not.
Men won’t be MORE compelled to stick around if he feels FORCED into it.
Pressure is never attractive. He needs to have the freedom to CHOOSE instead of feeling like he owes it to you.
This is critical in the beginning when he’s still feeling things out. Try to avoid using labels like “exclusive”, “girlfriend” or “committed” until you’ve mutually confirmed it.
And more importantly, you shouldn’t punish him in some way if he’s not as “on-board” as you are.
Part of being in a relationship is stepping aside and letting it happen organically.
If you try to create that closeness by sleeping with him or give him an ultimatum, he’ll eventually bail out on you since it wasn’t his real decision anyway.
#10: Amazing Sex (need I say more?)
You didn’t think we’d skip this one, did you? Assuming that you’ve bonded with him enough and the connection is there, the sexual component of your relationship is VITAL.
Without it, you might as well be platonic friends. With that, here are some essential tips you need to know:
Make him feel like a MAN…or THE Man, to be exact. Again, this is his caveman side we’re talking about. Guys want nothing more than to please their partner – especially when it comes to that – which brings us to the next tip…
If he’s doing it right, TELL him. If your guy’s lighting you up like a Christmas tree, give him the signals. Your verbal and non-verbal cues will tell him you’re on bliss island. You could even slip a little R-rated language while you’re in throes of passion if you’re so inclined…
Communication is KEY. We’re approaching cliched territory here, but it’s crucial nonetheless.
Maybe you’ve hit a roadblock in your sex life for whatever reason and it’s keeping you from giving 100% of yourself to him. If that’s the case, he deserves to know, but try to skip the harsh criticism and accusations. Trust me, if there’s anything he can do to help things get back on track, he’ll be more than willing.
Use the power of the “slow burn”. Men love being teased as long as they know it’ll lead up to the main event. Make a game out of it and don’t go for the obvious erogenous zones, like down south. Bring things to a simmering boil by touching him elsewhere that’s just as powerful and erotic. Or send him a quick text about what you’re going to do to him later on.
Anything you that builds up the anticipation will keep him eager and willing to please you.
Whether you’ve been together for three months or three decades, there’s always plenty you can do to make him crave you like a cool drink on a hot summer day. With the right habits, you can easily cultivate the right atmosphere in your relationship.
But there are women out there whose guy is slipping away FAST – and they need to stop him from walking out the door, pronto.
In cases like that, you’ll need to bring out the big guns.
You see, I’ve developed a system to keep a man not only interested and attracted to you…
…but make him feel like living without you is NOT an option.
After using my powerful techniques on him, he won’t see any other women aside from you.
(And while he’s at it, he’ll stop looking at their Facebook and Instagram feeds without you asking him – just saying…)
In other words, I can teach you how to make him OBSESSED with you so the thought of leaving won’t ever cross his mind.
But let me warn you that this is powerful stuff and you should only use it on the right guy.
You need to be sure that you NEVER want him to leave you.