Written by Scot McKay. Creator of Get Together – Stay Together.
Just yesterday, I was on the phone with a friend. During the course of the conversation, we began talking about how amazing it is that so many people are more willing to take the first option that comes along when it comes to dating and relationships than to do what it takes to become a man or a woman who can CHOOSE from MANY OPTIONS.
Ultimately, so many of us feel completely powerless when it comes to actually being able to attract who we truly want, that when the first person comes along who shows any level of attraction we jump right in.
Sometimes we do so and never look back.
If you perform a Google search on “number of lifetime sex partners”, you’ll quickly find that darn near 25% of adults (at least in North America) report having had exactly one partner in their life.
Sure, there are always those who have the “high school sweetheart” story going on.
But not withstanding that, you and I both know that there are a WHOLE LOT of people out there who are flat-out, straight-up SETTLING.
Worse, even though they KNOW they’ve settled, they stay in the relationship anyway. All too often, they end up getting MARRIED.
Well, there’s a whole litany of potential excuses.
“It was just time to get married, and this was who I was dating at the time.”
Or, “Well, nobody’s perfect…and I don’t want to be too picky.”
Or, “Hey…some people out there have NOBODY. I should count myself as LUCKY.”
And, of course, the one that truly makes me cringe: “She was willing to put up with me.”
But here’s the thing.
Sometimes, you really can be fairly excited about having met a certain woman early on. You can even be genuinely HOT for her.
Particularly if you haven’t been experiencing a dating life full of rich options lately, you could actually meet a woman who exceeds your expectations and be on Cloud 9 for a while there.
Only after time has passed and you wake up one morning feeling dissatisfied will the reality set in that you had in fact SETTLED.
Scary stuff, isn’t it?
There’s no wonder so many women think guys are “commitment phobes”.
The truth is sometimes we SHOULD BE.
So how do we solve this problem? How can you know UP FRONT that you may wake up feeling like you settled someday?
I mean, how can you really get some 20/20 FORESIGHT here, for a change?
I’m glad you asked.
Here, before your very eyes, I’m about to roll out-for the first time ever-a lucky:
Seven ways you can TEST a new relationship for “Settlement Potential”
#1. When considering a brand new woman to date, teleport yourself into the future and HONESTLY consider how you’ll feel having been exclusive with JUST her for a few months.
You may think she’s pretty sharp, but if you honestly evaluate the situation do you already know she’s lacking in a few places that you are going to seriously wish she wasn’t after the novelty of the relationship wears off?
Every day you may see women you find somewhat attractive, and each will endear themselves to you in a distinct way-and to a varying degree.
With that sea of women around you, understand that building long-term plans with a woman who doesn’t bring your vision of the “complete package” to the table is going to mean inevitable comparison to other women down the road.
And that’s not going to be a positive for either of you.
#2. How do you feel about introducing her to your friends?
She may be attractive to you, but are you sort of embarrassed to take her out in public? Do you fear your friends are going to think you could “do better”?
Is there a chance she’ll publicly humiliate you in a social setting?
If you’re feeling any of this stuff, it makes no logical sense to form a “partnership” with her.
#3. Imagine you have already seen her naked 100 times and had sex with her about as often.
Are you going to have long since been bored? Do you already look at her and realize she isn’t everything you want in the attraction department?
Even if you are obsessed over her extreme hotness, have you considered that if the entire relationship has been built around sex that you WILL burn out sooner than later…perhaps based on sheer familiarity?
#4. Do you enjoy her company?
This might sound like a goofball question. But based on what I’ve seen out there, I had to ask.
She may be the “best thing” who has come along in years, or so you think. But are you basing that premise purely on physical attraction? If she gets on your nerves now-or vice-versa-that isn’t going to get any better later, I can assure you.
#5. Is life more fulfilling with her in it?
Are you looking forward to taking her with you on the next adventure you have planned, or would you much rather leave her at home to watch Lifetime Channel while you spend time with your friends instead?
Do you foresee your future plans and lifelong dreams coming to fruition with her in your life, or being postponed–if not scuttled completely?
#6. Are you trying to overlook serious character issues?
Are you sticking your head in the sand when it’s clear she has addictions, jealousy issues or a demonstrated history of disrespecting you?
Are you fully confident she wouldn’t cheat on you or betray you in some other way?
Do you get this strange feeling that there’s something about her you’re not being told?
#7. Do you envy guys who appear to have higher-quality women with them?
Do you get that nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach when you go out and see other guys with women you perceive to be higher quality?
Have you actually gone so far as to COUNT how many guys in a particular public place you’d gladly trade places with?
Do you come home from social events feeling angry or even resentful toward your woman even though she didn’t do anything in particular to cause it?
Did some of those concepts hit home for you?
It really doesn’t matter whether you have a woman in your life right now or not. The stuff we’re talking about here must become part of your mindset as you evaluate the potential of various women who step into your life.
Usually when you take a test like this, you end up with a “sliding scale” to score yourself with.
Not this time, man.
This is like horseshoes and hand grenades. It’s “all or nothing”. If you’ve compromised ANYWHERE, you’re settling.
Deserving what you want is the ONLY WAY TO FLY, and you know that already.
Different girl… SAME RELATIONSHIP.
Does that ring a bell?
In other words, you keep breaking up with women (or getting broken up with BY them) but history keeps repeating itself.
You may even have started believing ALL women are the same, and you’re ready to give up the fight.
Or how about this?
You really, seriously DO have a woman in your life who you’d love to make plans with for the future…
…but you honestly have NO idea where you stand.
You’re not even sure you TRUST her, let alone know what’s going on in her head.
You don’t want to let something so potentially great with her slip away, but you just don’t have the answers to make things right with her.
Let me tell you, BOTH Emily and Scot McKay have been in relationships that were like a LIVING HELL every single, freaking day.
But even after going through that–and the ugly divorces that ensued–they kept believing…
…separately, of course…in different parts of the city they lived in, and as yet unknown to each other.
So when Emily and I met in 2006 we were READY for each other…and have been living the kind of relationship since that everyone HOPES for, but few actually find.
Now, you may be in a relationship at this time…but it’s even BETTER if you aren’t yet.
Either way, my newly-released program Get Together, Stay Together is for YOU.
If you’re like the vast majority of men out there, you want a great girlfriend. One who’s a genuine “keeper”.
Sweet, kind-hearted, fun and so sexy she’s NSFW.
You want a woman who “gets” you. You want to trust each other, communicate naturally and make life BETTER for each other by being together.
EVERYTHING we have on how to make that kind of relationship happen and KEEP it going strong is in Get Together, Stay Together.
It’s 100% complete, like a one-stop resource for how to have the ultimate LTR.
That makes it quite possibly the most important X & Y Communications program of ALL TIME.
It’s certainly the one with the most potential for satisfaction…even in a world where so many experience so much misery in relationships:
Gentlemen, TOO many guys blow it with the wrong women.
Get Together, Stay Together is your absolute best insurance policy against ever having to tell the sad story of “the one who got away”.
And it’s a whole lot better an investment than future divorce court.