Advice on How and Where To Meet A Guy, Getting Out Of Your Own Way

Women fall out of my personal newsletter at Why Do Guys…? occasionally. The reasons are usually, “I don’t need you anymore… Thank You!” with a big smile and a grateful note telling me how much I’ve helped them.

I’ll be honest, it feels good.

Once in a while it’s too many emails or it wasn’t what I thought I needed but that’s okay. You see I pay for all the subscribers and honestly it’s no fun paying for someone who doesn’t want to be there.

Well recently one took a leave of absence because, and I’m paraphrasing,

“Your advice only centers around quality men, the good ones… and not where to find a guy like that.”

I will admit I first thought she was looking for advice on men who always only let her down but then my brain woke up from this long winter nap.

She just did not know WHERE the good guys were all hanging out.

She wanted to know HOW to find them, and then of course how to attract them and possibly how to have them “willingly” commit to her.

Yeah I hear you… Let’s not put too much pressure on this guy. 😀

There’s no real “trick” to meeting the kind of men you would date. The advice is out there by the hundreds and probably a good reason I have yet to cover it BUT if you must:

“Instead of going to places where you’re not happy to try and meet men, pick five things YOU really love to do.

5 Simple Ways To Become Instantly More Attractive Through Lifestyle.

  • Start doing MORE things YOU love to do.
  • Think about the type of guys you want to meet and imagine what they might love doing and then, put yourself there.

Once you’re there you must:

  • Be open to meeting new people and not just the guys you want to date.
  • Engage them pleasantly.
  • Smile softly and naturally. No Faking it.
  • Ask some interesting questions, things you actually want to know.
  • Avoid asking closed ended questions or answers which could be answered with a yes or no.
  • Avoid giving one word answers or answering questions like you might on a questionnaire.
  • Communicate back and forth. Never just listen to him talk about himself and don’t just talk about yourself. Interact!
  • Be positive by steering away from complaining, whining, bitching, or giving excuses about yourself and the life you live.
  • Try some sarcastic flirting because everyone loves that. ; )
  • Hint you’re open to more by lightly breaking the touch barrier with they guys you’re starting to feel something for.

I told you the advice is sort of obvious and not many of us enjoy reading the same thing over and over again.

Those are all simple interactions which center around light but playful conversations.

Something we ALL should learn to do with EVERYONE including the ones we’re most attracted to.

The problem with it all that is most of us get stuck in our own head.

We spend too much time thinking about what to say and how the other person is going to react or accept what we’re saying.

The truth is, we get in our own way more often than not.

Perhaps if we’d all focus more on getting out of our own way, those important communication skills just might take care of themselves.

Generally speaking of course because I’m positive some of us DO need some real advice and help to learn better communication skills.

It’s all the self-talk we do with ourselves ( when we find ourselves close to our attraction ) which takes us out of the present and well, somewhere else.

We spend way too much time in our own heads instead of doing two of the most attractive things we can easily accomplish…

  • Actively listening to what the other person is saying.
  • Showing a real genuine interest in what the person is saying.

Hey it’s totally understandable when we tune out people who have nothing interesting to say. I understand if I haven’t engaged your interest enough today you probably skipped over everything I’ve written. I wouldn’t blame you at all because that’s my problem to solve or overcome.

BUT we’re talking about the people you ARE interested in.

The ones who take you out of the present and seclude you in your thoughts because you’re trying so hard to NOT say the wrong thing.

The absolute truth of meeting people and then communicating our most attractive self or to make incredible first impressions only really requires us to do ONE thing good or better than we might have in the past:

Get out of our own way so something special is allowed to happen naturally.

“To get what you’ve never had, you have to do what you’ve never done.

How To Take Control Over Your Dating Life – Doing Something Different.

One clever trick I have used in my life to help me get out of my way might interest you.

Consider everything I’ve told you about getting in your own way.

Think about how many people have this very same problem.

Now have you ever felt embarrassed over something you did. Who knows, maybe you tripped over something, spilled a drink, said something stupid in front of your boss.

Whatever happened you “felt” embarrassed because you were probably thinking about how others see you and how they were going to judge you for that very uncommon mistake you made.

Well guess what…

Most people will always judge you and honestly that’s their own thing. No matter what you do or say they will always judge you based on their own experiences in life and how THEY see their world, not as to how you see yours.

Also, since we already realize how many people are stuck inside their own “loop” and are more concerned with not making mistakes themselves, or saying the wrong thing, or being embarrassed, belittled, or saying something stupid only to be judged by YOU for it…

Doesn’t it then stand to reason we should care little about how others may perceive us.

Most people are more concerned with their OWN lives ( or daily battle ) to be bothered with ours.

I figured long ago, not that I’m not noticed or that people don’t care, but the majority of us have an agenda all our own and can’t possibly take on the agenda of someone else too.

I’m not saying they choose to ignore us but the simple fact that…

If most people are wrapped up in their own daily lives, just trying to survive and find happiness themselves, why bother getting stuck so far in our heads ( or in our own way ) to please them.

This is NOT an excuse to become a rude ass and to stop caring about others.

It’s more of a good, no great reason, to STOP trying to get our “attraction” to like us back when we have absolutely NO control over that part anyways.

Remember those two “secrets” to meeting the kind of people YOU want in YOUR life:

  • Start doing MORE things YOU love to do and…
  • Think about WHO you want to meet and imagine what they might love doing and then, put yourself there.

Follow that up with engaging them and communicate by:

  • Actively listening to what the other person is saying.
  • Showing a real genuine interest in what the person is saying.

Yes, don’t forget that short list of making a great first impression, even though just by doing those two things you’re already better off than you were.

Now add the final ingredient:

Getting out of your own way so something special is allowed and more likely to happen… naturally.

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