You Had A Few Amazing Dates With Chemistry But He Still Disappeared


Having chemistry on a date doesn’t have to end after a few dates.

You went out on a date with him and had a great time.

There was definitely chemistry and if you could describe the date with one word, Β it would be “magical!”

It was so much fun you did it again but just when you think the first one was incredible the second date was even better.

And now you can not wait for the next morning because you know without a doubt he had a great time.

So you woke up with a huge smile on your face and eagerly grabbed your phone to text him how he made you feel.

After all you felt like it was the right thing to do and texted exactly,

You make me happy.

But the eerily silence from your phone was, if possible – was deafening!

Within hours him not getting back to you started driving you crazy…

Why didn’t he text me back? Is something wrong? What happened?!!!

Of course you want to believe the obvious. Something is wrong.

You start thinking that maybe, just maybe, your text didn’t get through.

And you have to know the truth. But you wait eagerly and still nothing the next day.

So NOW you text him again,

Everything ok? πŸ™‚Β 

Now he responds and your heart can not wait to read it – you think – this is going to be good. With a huge smile on your face you grab your phone and read,

Yeah, just leaving the grocery store now.

He’s got your blood boiling over and you’re even more confused. So you start thinking,

Wow. What happened? How do you go from a few great dates after all the chemistry we had. After all the flirty emails and our first phone conversation…things were going great. I really need to know what’s going on with this guy.

And the only way you know how to get the answer you’re looking for is to ask him with another text the very next day,

Did I do something to upset you?

Now if that’s not enough to drive any woman crazy I don’t know what is.

I can literally hear all your fists out there clenching hard because it makes you so angry, so confused, and even more upset because you feel like you’ve lost something without even getting a chance.

And the worst part of all is – you feel you did nothing wrong!

Why would a guy just bail on you like this?

What cause him to run for the hills?

And how do you stop something like this from happening again?

Obviously there are many reasons a man takes off on you so quickly.

In this case they could be:

  1. He was just looking for sex and when he didn’t get it – moved on. or more possibly…
  2. What you actually experienced was different from him. Men and women can and do experience totally different things on a date. Usually it’s the guy who thinks she’s into him when she’s not. But it does happen to women too.

But here is the biggest reason why these things happen…

If you’re a woman who has been through this many times or even if it’s the first time this has happened I’ll show you how to avoid making a big mistake with men in the early dating stages.

Communicating a relationship to a man too quickly is practically guaranteed to send him running.

“He calls, he follows through, he’s thoughtful, he’s chivalrous, he’s gentlemanly, he WANTS a commitment with you. But sometimes it takes a few weeks for us to figure all of that out for ourselves. Do You Want to Learn the Secret to Keeping a Man Interested in You?

Now I know you’re aware of it and I bet you don’t act too needy or pushy anyways. But that’s obvious.

It’s the little things you might be doing which is causing the problem and they may seem so harmless that you often miss the mistakes

If a man has a great time with you the last thing he wants to hear is how you make him happy.

That’s relationship talk.

That’s girlfriend talk.

When you’re deep in the “flirty” or escalation stage and you’re still getting to know each other you want to:

  • Challenge him more.
  • Expect nothing from him.
  • Communicate to his ego or his “sexual side.”

After a date or two do not text, write, or say anything like these:

“I like you.”

You make me happy.”

“Thanks for the incredible evening.”

What you DO want to text is:

“Stop thinking about me :p”

“Hey sexy – that woman is checking you out.”

“Glad to show you a great time.”

You see how mood changes.

How it’s a completely different level of communication.

You’re not pressuring him at all.

You’re appealing to his ego and not his “nurturing” side.

You’re being fun and flirty.

You’re making him feel like he’s got “it” but you’re also challenging him to come get you.

The impact you need to make on a man in this stage must do those things first.

That’s all they need to do and nothing more.

Challenge him the right way and he’ll think about you more.

“Neediness in an emotional and material sense is one of the biggest roadblocks to greater attractiveness. Sure, guys may get the occasional kick out of being your knight in shining armor, but… How To Be The Girl That Guys Want To Date

If you expect nothing back you’ll be less likely to respond as a long time girlfriend would.

You’ll avoid sending that huge red flag most assume is – “overly clingy or needy.”

When you appeal to his “ego” or his “sexual side” and avoid his “nurturing” side you’ll leave a lasting impression that tells him indirectly that what he’s doing is working and ALL men want to feel accomplished in this area.

Just don’t give away everything and tease him into it.

Okay…so you had a great date, there was definitely chemistry, and the connection was more than obvious to both of you.

If you find he is still disappearing I encourage to think about what I’ve shared with you today.

Think about what you did after the date or dates that may have caused him to run.

The next time you find yourself in this situation which I hope you will because I don’t want you to give up dating just because of one guy…

Follow my advice and instead of having to ask where or why he disappeared… but how even better the third date or fourth date was.

Please check out my absolutely free “Why Do Guys…?” for more great info on men. All me πŸ™‚ All original. Get the inside scoop on men straight from a man… Peter White.
3 comments… add one
  • Christie

    Great article. But what if we had a few amazing dates and I (the girl) write nothing? I want to let him be the pursuer, plus I am not a huge fan of texting. Good or bad idea?

  • Thanks Christie.

    If you want to let him pursue you, at least consider why you want that to happen.

    Is it a test? Something to prove to you how he feels. Something which might tell you he’s a guy who doesn’t quit so easily?

    Honestly – if I meet a girl who, after a real connection is made, never makes the effort to contact me ( at least randomly through a text or calling if that’s what you prefer ) I’m more likely to assume the interest just isn’t there. Or she’s too busy to bother. Or she’s dating other guys who perhaps she’s more interested in contacting.

    The assumptions are merely telling me that we may have hit it off – but it just wasn’t enough.

    This article was mainly for women who tend to “appear” too needy or go in relationship mode too quickly and send the wrong messages and it wasn’t meant to be something more.

    Just a reminder to keep it light at first and allow the attraction to build.

    You can write nothing and see if he eventually comes back BUT if you’re doing that for the wrong reasons – it becomes a power grab. Something which may prove to be a problem when he realizes he always fighting you for that power.

    My suggestion, in this article, is more of a give and take kind of thing. Not a test. Not something to get a guy to chase you blindly and it wasn’t meant to be a “power play” of any sort.

    It’s all about balance, give and take, and effectively communicating the type of person you are.

    You can give a little BUT he must too which means sometimes you’ll contact him randomly and sometimes he’ll do it too and the only reason that contact is made is because a thought has crossed the mind which included the other person…

    From there I believe that’s when the good stuff happens.

    When something develops you didn’t expect or how things “just happened” and you ended up on an unplanned date.

    I think the way to think of it all is – again stick to the so-called rules listed above and avoid communicating a relationships way too early which generally pushes others away…

    Just make the contact because you have something share – a reminder – a gift of laughter – even something to pass the time when you’re “getting your oil changed” and steer away from “trying to get something” like getting a guy to chase you because that says you’re only in it to get something. People don’t respond as well when they feel someone’s doing that.

    Thanks Christie and of course if texting is not your thing – don’t do it. There are many other ways to keep in touch in this world.


  • Ash

    I was in a Similar situation like this with a man who was much older than me. We went on two dates, both times scheduled by him. Things were going great, we flirted through texting, planned a road trip together and he foresaw me in his future by saying we should go try all these different places. After the second date, he slowly disappeared, it would take him hours to a day to reply back to just one of my messages (I never sent more than just one if he never replied back) I never gave off the “I want a relationship” sort of vibe, I was just being flirty and bubbly, or myself I guess you could say. After our first date he started getting distant, he told me he had to reschedule our second date because he was crazy busy with work. After rescheduling he then tells me that he got called into work but he would still like to meet up for a quick lunch. So our second date wasn’t exactly long, we just ate lunch for an hour and a half and talked about a bunch of random stuff but then he tells me he would like to go out with me again. After that, he started vanishing, he “postponed” our little road trip, because he claimed he was too busy with work, and then eventually stopped texting me. After a few days of no talking I decided to ask him if he would like to go out with me a third time, and maybe make some moves on him to see where things go. But he just never replied back to me. Honestly, I feel I did nothing wrong, sure I may have sent him the “thanks for lunch I had a good time” text, but I never meant it in a “omg date me” sort of way, honestly I was just looking for a fwb or a casual ordeal, and I thought he wanted the same since he would flirt with me, and asked me on a road trip which in my mind meant sex would’ve been involved, oh well, no idea what happened with this one! But I look at it as his loss πŸ˜‰

Leave a Comment