You went out on a date with him and had an amazing time.
There was definitely chemistry and if you could describe the date with one word, it would be “Magical!”
It was so much fun you did it again and just when you thought the first one was incredible, the second date was even better. How rare is that?
You just can not wait until the morning because you know without a doubt, he had a great time too and these kind of connections don’t happen as often as you’d like. Finally, right?
You wake up with a huge smile on your face and eagerly grab your phone to text him how he made you feel. After all you felt like it was the right thing to do. Besides you’re wondering if he felt the same thing because he just had to.
You grab a cup of coffee. You don’t want to seem TOO eager. You slowly but methodically text him what you thought was a great romantic statement. You were thinking outside the box this time and doing something a little different. You text,
“You make me happy. 😉 ”
And you wait… and wait… But the eerily silence from your phone was, if possible – deafening!
Within hours of your message and him not writing back it starts to drive you crazy sending all sorts of thoughts racing through your mind,
“Why didn’t he text me back? Is something wrong? What happened?!!!”
Of course you want to believe that something is wrong. You start thinking that maybe, just maybe, your text didn’t get through. Now your stuck because if it did get sent (which is highly probable) and you text him again, you could come across as a little needy. Torn between a need to know what happened and your eagerness to text him again… just in case.
You’re smart. You wait. You’ve been through this before and even though it seemed he felt the connection too, maybe he’s just a little slow on the texting.
The next day comes and goes and NOTHING.
He’ still not returning a simple text as if that’s really tough to just tap a phone a few times. You’re a little angry, confused, and you’re not going to wait any longer. You DESERVE some kind of response from him.
So against everything, you text him again,
“Everything ok? 🙂 ”
Finally!!! Your phone chimes, you got a message. He responds and your heart can not wait to read it – you think – this is going to be good. With a huge smile on your face you grab your phone and read,
“Yeah, just leaving the grocery store now.”
He’s got your blood boiling over and you’re even more confused. So you start thinking,
“Wow. What happened? How do you go from a few great dates after all the chemistry we had. After all the flirty emails and our first phone conversation…things were going great. I really need to know what’s going on with this guy.”
And the only way you know how to get the answer you’re looking for is to ask him with another text the very next day,
“Did I do something to upset you?”
Now if that’s not enough to drive any woman crazy I don’t know what is. I can literally hear all your fists out there clenching hard your fingers are hurting because you’re so angry, completely confused, and even more upset because you feel like you’ve lost something without even getting a real chance.
And the worst part of all is – you feel you did nothing wrong!
Why would a guy just bail on you like this?
What cause him to run for the hills and how do you stop something like this from happening again?
Obviously there are many reasons a man takes off on you so quickly.
In this case they could easily be something simple like he was just looking for sex or a quick lay and when he didn’t get it – moved on. It could be his texting habits. Maybe he’s not not a very good at it.
Or it could be something you never even considered before because it can not be possible… or could it?
Just maybe – What you actually experienced was different than him. Men and women can and do experience totally different things on a date. Usually it’s the guy who thinks she’s into him when she’s not. But it does happen to women too. It happens.
But you’re sure SOMETHING was there. You’re totally convinced he FELT it too.
Let’s go back to the beginning.
Think about the sort-of story I shared with you. Notice how the details of the actual date are missing. That makes a big difference, doesn’t it?
Obviously something happened which might have just as easily pushed him away. Something small or big, it doesn’t matter. All it takes is one or two things and you got a guy giving you the silent treatment and not looking or pushing for another date.
It’s what (sometimes how) you’re communicating to a man on a date that may seem okay on the surface, but it’s not felt the same way by most men.
It doesn’t feel like you’re making a big mistake because you’ve avoided doing the obviously wrong things like talking about your ex, complaining about your job, having bad breath, etc…
But it’s still happening…
Communicating a relationship to a man too quickly is practically guaranteed to send him running.
“He calls, he follows through, he’s thoughtful, he’s chivalrous, he’s gentlemanly, he WANTS a commitment with you. But sometimes it takes a few weeks for us to figure all of that out for ourselves.”
Now I know for a fact you’re aware of the bigger things and I bet you don’t act too needy or pushy too. That’s obvious but it’s the little things you might be doing which is causing the problem and they may seem so harmless that you often miss them.
You pay so much attention to avoid making the big mistakes, the little ones just float on through. They sail past your radar but hit him hard.
Strange as this next part sounds, it’s the absolute truth for most real guys.
If a man has a great time with you the last thing he wants to hear is how you make him happy.
Weird I know. But remember this is coming directly from a guy… me.
That’s relationship talk. That’s girlfriend talk. That is how a man and woman talk when they’re already committed to each which means – communicating it too early starts to FEEL like a relationship to him.
When you’re deep in the “flirty” or escalation dating stage and you’re still getting to know each other you want to:
- Challenge him more.
- Expect nothing from him.
- Communicate to his Ego or his “sexual side.”
- Lure him in and let him chase you a bit.
After a date or two do not text, write, or say anything that is relationship type:
- “I like you.”
- “You make me happy.”
- “Thanks for the incredible evening.”
What you DO want to text or say is:
- “Stop thinking about me :p”
- “Hey sexy – that woman is checking you out.”
- “Glad to show you a great time.”
You see how the mood or interaction changes. How it’s a completely different level of communication you’re having with him.
You’re not pressuring him at all. You’re appealing to his Ego and not his “nurturing” side. You’re being fun and flirty. You’re making him feel like he’s got “it” but you’re also challenging him to come get you.
The impact you need to make on a man in this stage must do those things first.
That’s ALL they (your communication) needs to do and nothing more.
Challenge him the right way and he’ll think about you more AND he’s far less likely to just disappear or send you mixed signals back.
“Neediness in an emotional and material sense is one of the biggest roadblocks to greater attractiveness. Sure, guys may get the occasional kick out of being your knight in shining armor, but… “
If you expect nothing back you’ll be less likely to respond as a long time girlfriend would. You’ll avoid sending that huge red flag most assume is – “overly clingy or needy.”
When you appeal to his “ego” or his “sexual side” and avoid his “nurturing” side you’ll leave a lasting impression that tells him indirectly that what he’s doing is working and ALL men want to feel accomplished in this area.
Just don’t give away everything and tease him into it.
Okay…so you had a great date, there was definitely chemistry, and the connection was more than obvious to both of you.
If you find he is still disappearing I encourage to think about what I’ve shared with you today. Think about what you did after the date or dates which may have caused him to run.
The next time you find yourself in this situation which you will because you’re not giving up dating just because of this foolish man… stick to this new plan and notice the change in him.
Men are not scared little creatures who can’t handle things but in a way, in the beginning they sometimes act that way around a woman who is pushing relationship early. Whether she know she’s doing it or not.
How would you like to learn a different style of communication to a guy so this sort of stuff is far less likely to happen to you?
It’s called the Instant Infatuation Formula.
Here’s all you have to do to get it right this second: Click here, open in a new tab, or download it safely to your computer or phone.
That’s it. No signing up. Nothing to watch or listen to for today. I realize you’ve been through enough already and it stops today!
All I ask is you put it to good use immediately and oh yeah, if you like stuff like that, make sure you sign up below to the secret dirty truth about men. That would be really cool of you.
Thanks for stopping by and hope you enjoyed this episode of the secret dirty truth about men.