Written by David Wygant Trusted Dating and Relationship Expert
Do you feel like your dating life controls you, instead of YOU having control over your dating life?
I am going to share with you one of the MOST EFFECTIVE TECHNIQUES for changing how you interact with men…
Having coached women for more than eleven years, I know that so many of share the same frustrations when dating.
Do any of these sound familiar?
Are you sick and tired of waiting for and hoping that the right men will find you?
Are you starting to feel that finding great men to date is more a matter of luck than anything else?
Do you feel like you men have all the power and get to do the “choosing” in the dating world?
I’m guessing you may have been nodding your head when you read at least one of these…
…but don’t feel bad, because YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I can understand why you feel this way.
After all, so much of the dating advice out there for women gives women some very conflicting ideas about how they should BE if they want to meet men.
Are you supposed to WAIT for men to approach you?
Are you supposed to play “hard to get?”
Are you supposed to use subtle flirting techniques?
Of course my answer to these questions is a 100% NO … but I’ll get back to that part in a minute…
There is one common theme to some of this kind of dating advice that women get – that you are not in control of your own dating destiny.
Do you know what I say to that? WRONG!
The truth is that you have ALL the power to control your own dating life – BUT YOU HAVE TO TAKE BACK CONTROL OF YOUR OWN DATING LIFE!
What I’m going to talk about here is one of the BEST techniques and mindset adjustments you can make to get back control over your dating life.
A few weeks ago I posted a very funny video clip on my blog from an episode of “Seinfeld” in which George Costanza decided to “do the opposite” of everything he’d been doing in his life.
This decision emanated from a discussion with Jerry and Elaine in the infamous Monk’s coffee shop wherein George reveals a conclusion he reached about his life after a day of thought at the beach:
“Every decision I’ve ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every part of my life, be it something to wear, something to eat . . . It’s all been wrong.”
When the waitress comes over and assumes that George will order his usual lunch, he gets a gleam in his eye and decides to make a change in his life by ordering a different lunch. At that moment, Elaine notices a pretty blond staring at George.
The road to making the decision to “do the opposite” went like this:
Elaine: Ah, George, you know, that woman just looked at you.
George: So what? What am I supposed to do?
Elaine: Go talk to her.
George: Elaine, bald men, with no jobs, and no money, who live with their parents, don’t approach strange women.
Jerry: Well here’s your chance to try the opposite. Instead of tuna salad and being intimidated by women, chicken salad and going right up to them.
George: Yeah, I should do the opposite, I should.
Jerry: If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.
George: Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do something!
Why do I bring up this episode of “Seinfeld?” And what does it have to do with taking control back of your dating life?
HERE’S THE KEY…
What’s really funny about this decision George makes to “do the opposite,” is that the second he committed to it everything in his life started working…
The beautiful woman from the coffee shop started dating him, he had the courage to stand up to the disruptive bullies in the movie theater, and he got his all-time dream job with the New York Yankees.
Perhaps George is wiser than we all first thought…
Think about this for a second.
So many single people – both men and women – continue to do the same things over and over again to meet people, but they continue to expect different results.
WOMEN, YOU ARE ESPECIALLY GUILTY OF THIS…in terms of your mindset and your willingness to take action in your dating life!
If you spent the last seven Friday nights in the same bar not meeting anyone, why do you think it’s going to ever be different?
I mean, that is the very definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
In order to change your dating life and meet more interesting men, you need to start “doing the opposite.”
Note the critical word here is “doing”
To take back control of your dating life you need to start changing some of your views and DOING things a little differently…
So just like George switched his lunch order from tuna salad to chicken salad, you can change some of things you have been doing over and over in your life as well.
On a Friday night, instead of going to that same bar, go to a bookstore.
Instead of getting to the building where your work in the morning and saying nothing to anyone, get on the elevator and start saying “Good Morning!” to everyone.
Instead of waiting for people to talk to you first, you say hello to them first.
If you normally wait two days to call somebody back because you think that’s the right thing to do (and despite the fact that strategy has never worked for you), call people back right away.
You have to look deep into your life and look at the things that have not been working. For those things which have not been working, start thinking about doing the opposite!
Do all of those things the opposite way that you’ve been doing them.
If you’ve been putting off starting to work out, do the opposite and start tomorrow no matter what.
If you see an attractive member of the opposite sex who has a really cute dog, and you would normally say nothing to them, do the opposite and pet their dog.
If you normally order movies from Netflix and watch movies alone at home, do the opposite and go to Blockbuster to rent movies so that you have a chance to meet someone there by asking their opinions on the movies.
If you normally have lunch at your desk, do the opposite and go out to lunch somewhere where there is a lot of people so you can sit at a group table and open up a conversation with them.
If you normally go food shopping once a week and buy enough to last you for the entire week, do the opposite and pick up groceries every day so you will have more chances to talk to people.
If you normally go to the gym when no one is there, do the opposite and go to the gym when it’s crowded so you can ask to “work in” with someone there whom you find attractive.
To get what you’ve never had, you have to do what you’ve never done.
You need to change your routine up and do the opposite, because doing things the way you’ve always done them is going to continue to get you the same unsatisfying results.
I don’t want any of you to ever, like George, think “My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be.”
So it’s time you started thinking like our good friend George Costanza and beginning when you wake up tomorrow, do the complete opposite of what you normally do.
You’ll not only start to meet men the second you start doing this…
… but you may also be surprised at what else new and exciting may come into your life!
Men WANT women who take control of their dating life and if you’d like to learn more check out this: What Men Desire. Two other powerful programs from David are here… How To Connect With Men and The Commitment Switch – getting any man to commit to you.
You can find more great advice from David here at the Approach by going here: David Wygant – Nine Steps to Attracting Men – Your Amazing Dating Life.