Written by David Wygant Trusted Dating and Relationship Expert
Has this ever happened to you with a guy you’re dating?
You went out on a date with a guy you’re newly dating. You had a good time, so you sent him a text the next day telling him so…
…and he doesn’t text you back.
You start to think “Why doesn’t this person like me? I like him. Why didn’t he text me back?”
Then you text him again a couple days later, and he doesn’t text you back again.
You start over-thinking the situation.
You start thinking “What did I do wrong? I thought he liked me. WHAT IS HE THINKING?”
Women ALWAYS want to know what men are thinking…
So you start to drive yourself crazy wondering if there is anything you could have done differently. You even start talking to your friends and driving them crazy.
You recap the date in your own mind … over and over again.
You go over everything you said on the date and you start to think, “Maybe I shouldn’t have done that (or said that).”
Let me answer that (and let you in on ONE KEY SECRET TO UNDERSTANDING MEN)… Besides becoming a different person to whom he is attracted, there is NOTHING you could have done!
Think back on all the men you have gone out with on dates whom YOU never called back or texted.
It works both ways.
So stop getting so upset about one man.
Realize that you just didn’t have the chemistry that you thought you had with him and move on.
Drop the ego!
Think about all the men you have gone out with who were one-date wonders. You went out with them and you really didn’t like them, so you didn’t bother returning their calls or their texts.
Once again, it works both ways!
When I go out with a woman and I have a good time, I’ll call or text her the next day and tell her so. If she doesn’t call or text me back, I don’t drive her crazy.
More importantly, I DON’T DRIVE MYSELF CRAZY.
I am not a mind reader. I don’t know why she decided not to like me.
You will NEVER KNOW why a man decides not to like you.
You have just got to learn that part of dating is the unknown. Unless you and your friends are mind readers, you will never know why someone did not text you back.
There’s another part to this – and it’s where I get to answering the question I posed at the beginning of this:
WHEN IS IT TIME TO DELETE A MAN’S NUMBER?
Let me first have you read a question I recently received from a female reader of my blog:
“David, I went out with a guy three weeks ago that I really liked. I thought we really clicked, but when I texted him a day or so later he never texted me back. Last night, I was a little bit buzzed when I was out with my friends, and I “drunk texted” this guy. What do I do now?
Delete the number.
Really that was my answer — Period. That’s it.
You don’t ever want to be in this situation.
There’s a good reason why…
What usually happens when you drunk text a guy in this situation or you text a guy when you’re having a “low” night, is that you will ask him why he didn’t text you back or why he didn’t like you. This is where you start to look DESPERATE and CLINGY.
That is not you … and that’s not how you want a man to see you.
From now on, FOLLOW THIS RULE:
If after going out on a date with a guy you have texted him twice without a return text, DELETE THAT NUMBER!
Your cell phone should not look like your facebook page where you have a couple hundred people who are your “friends” but are people to whom you never talk. (That’s what I love about facebook…I have 700 friends and I don’t know who most of them are!)
This rule applies even if you have gone out with someone more than once.
I know you’ve probably asked yourself,
“Why is he just not that into me? I don’t understand how he could change his mind. We seemed to have so much fun. It seemed like we really clicked.”
Think about this for a second.
I know you have gone out with men with whom you had a good time on a date, but after sleeping on it you changed your mind about them.
That’s what we do as humans. Once you have time to think about something after “the moment” has passed, we sometimes change our minds.
My last car I liked driving . . . for about four days. Then I changed my mind. That is why stores have return policies.
I tend to judge a date this way. When I go out with someone and I wake up the next morning thinking about her, I know I want to see her again.
If, on the other hand, I don’t realize I had a date the night before until after I’ve woken up and worked the entire next day, it means that I am not into that person. They didn’t excite me enough.
It does not mean I didn’t have a good time or that they weren’t a nice person. There just wasn’t enough chemistry.
Women will often let a non-response to a text message or some other disappointment with one man cause them to stop being open with other men.
They use such things as an excuse…
Remember … IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU.
It just means that guy didn’t share the same excitement that you did.
I know what many of you are thinking now, “OK, David that’s great – but HOW do I do that?”
The the follow-up questions inevitably start all beginning with – WHAT IF…
What if I wasn’t funny enough…
What if I really did say the wrong things…
What if … and this list could go ON and ON…
All of these are just FEARS and EXCUSES – and you need to break through these, otherwise you will project these onto the next man (and all the men after that) you meet!
Stop the Pattern Today because you’re ready for the NEXT man. I can show you how to really connect with the men you deserve. I CAN make you ready for that next guy. Just click here: Connect With Him and commit yourself to losing all your fears around men and start understanding them like never before. Sign up for David’s free advice newsletter here –>David Wygant – Free Dating Advice For Women
You can find more great advice from David here at the Approach by going here: David Wygant – Nine Steps to Attracting Men – Your Amazing Dating Life.