Written by David Wygant, the most successful and charismatic relationship expert in the business.
Does the thought of YOU being the one to approach a man get your mind buzzing with ALL SORTS of QUESTIONS?
Perhaps questions like these…
If I approach a man, won’t he think I’m coming onto him?
If I speak to a man first, then won’t he think I’m too aggressive?
If I look or smile too long at a man, then won’t he think I’m being OBVIOUS? AND MY FAVORITE ONE…
Since I looked at him once and he didn’t come over to talk to me, so he’s not interested in me right?
Where do I start with that one…
All of this over-thinking, wondering, speculating and WORRY are all products of your fear and cause you to make all these EXCUSES for not showing your interest in men.
And let me tell you that if you don’t start showing men you’re interested, MEN WILL NOT APPROACH YOU.
I want to share with you an interaction I recently had with a female client of mine.
It’s an interaction that led to me talking about one of the BIGGEST MISTAKES I SEE WOMEN MAKE when they’re trying to attract men and get men to approach. Here’s a little background…
Recently, it almost feels like now, one of my most stubborn clients who likes to challenge every level of my brain when coaching her, asked me this question:
“David, I’m having the hardest time getting my keister out of the house and practicing hello. I feel if I do what you tell me to do – which is saying hello to men – that they are going to think I’m coming onto them. And if they think that I’m coming on to them and they don’t respond, then they are going to talk about me all day long and I am never going to be able to show my face in public again.”
(OK, I’m exaggerating a BIT about the end of the question…)
So what did I tell my client, who happens to be a good friend and a favorite client, but who thinks she is a pain in the keister?
By the way, I never used the word “keister” before her … but there’s something sort of ‘Leave It To Beaver‘ about it and I like it.
So what did I tell her to do?
And, does her fear seem at all familiar to you?
I told her to go out and whenever she sees a man, she needs to utter one of these variations of the words:
“hello: hey, what’s up?, how you doin’, hello, or hi.”
Pretty much any variation of a greeting will do.
I then explained to her that some men are going to say hello back and some men are not.
If she goes out and spends thirty days saying hello to every man that she sees that she is attracted to, though, the end result is going to be far greater than staying home and not talking to anybody.
Here’s another thing too … and it’s what is really ironic about my client.
If you met her and talked to her, you would find out that she can’t shut up. I can get on the phone with her and we can yap for an hour about nothing, and I am the one who always ends the conversation.
The one thing she cannot do is talk to men to whom she is attracted.
If you are a woman who can’t talk to men and who doesn’t know how to smile at men, you are going to spend a lot of time by yourself.
You HAVE TO LEARN TO FLIRT IF YOU WANT MEN TO APPROACH.
The best way to start is to learn that saying hello to another human being makes you more approachable.
By forcing yourself to say hello to men all day long, you are going to realize that it is not that painful. By realizing that it’s not that painful, it’s going to start to seem easy. Then you can have fun with it.
Yes … I said this can be fun!
By carrying on a conversation, some men will take it further and some men will not. Regardless of whether they do, you are opening up your energy by doing this.
You are becoming friendlier. You are also changing your body language. You’re not walking around all uptight anymore.
Stop waiting for men to walk up to you, and start smiling and saying hello.
Also – and this is really IMPORTANT, stop worrying about what they’re thinking.
You heard me… I’m a guy, and every time a woman says hello to me I don’t think she’s coming onto me. I just think she is being friendly.
If I am attracted to her, I’ll come onto her and try to get to know her better.
If I’m not, then I’ll think nothing more about her saying hello to me than she was being friendly.
We’re no more complicated than that … really! I find that women who have trouble with this concept tend to worry too much about what other people think. The bottom line is this:
Stop worrying about what other people think, and start enjoying yourself!
Just remember that men are just giant Scooby Doos on steroids. We’re goofy, we’re hairy, and the only thing missing is the dog collar with an “S” on it.
I promise that if you spend thirty days saying hello to random men wherever you went, that a good percentage of those men will stop and think,
“Wow, a woman is actually making it easier to talk to her. What a novel approach!”
Stop waiting for men to start the conversation with you.
Start making yourself available so you can finally have a social life … and finally have the dating life you want! So go out and say hello to every man you’re attracted to for the next thirty days. I guarantee if you do this, you will meet men.
That’s how sure I am about the power of the hello, what’s up? and how you doin’? Magic words – all of them!
Get more wonderful advice from David Wygant here at The Approach:
- Stop Judging Your Dating Life and Start Getting Second Dates
- Who Calls First Online – Stress Free Dating
- He Is Not Texting or Calling – When Is It Time To Delete His Number?
- Change Your Dating Life By Taking ATTRACTION ACTION
- Break Relationship Man Code – The Art of Talk, Signals, and Actions
- Why You Need To Start Thinking Like A Man – Secrets To Meeting Men
- 5 Simple Ways to be more Attractive By Changing Your Lifestyle
- How To Take Control Over Your Dating Life – Doing Something Different