Written by Scot McKay – Creator of Invincible – Take Your Power Back.
Since we’ve all read countless articles and heard endless audio on how “nice guys” don’t get women, you’d think we’ve probably gotten the message by now.
In fact, you’ve probably heard SO MUCH of this sort of thing that right now you’re hoping this post isn’t going to simply reiterate something you’ve heard a thousand times over.
Rest assured. I wouldn’t do that to you.
Instead, I have a crazy question.
Even though you’ve heard the “nice guy vs. bad boy” routine a bazillion time, have you REALLY gotten the RIGHT message from it?
Based on what I’ve been seeing lately in the Seduction Community blogosphere, on forums and in my inbox, I’m beginning to wonder.
Unless my brain is playing tricks on me, it looks like any time a guy mentions having any kind of benevolent thought towards a woman at all, someone is there to crack him upside the head and bring him back to “sensibility”.
Planning a romantic evening?
Playing her favorite music in the car?
Giving her a reasonable compliment when she wants your honest opinion?
According to “common wisdom” these days, ANY such behavior under any circumstances is a sure-fire symptom of impending “Nice Guy” disorder.
Meanwhile, other “industry standards” such as “negging” and “cocky/funny” are more than ever being widely misconstrued to mean. be flat-out rude as hell to women.
All over the fruited plain, gentlemen, the apparent surround to all of this would appear to be,
“If you want to get women, be kind of mean to them and forget about doing anything benevolent whatsoever.”
Read that last quote over again and think about it for a while.
Do you really, truly believe that’s what it takes to bring high quality women into your life?
Yet, that very thought process is pandemic in the world of men’s dating advice.
Think I’m overreacting? If so, go surf a few Seduction Community forums and find out for yourself what kind of Kool-Aid people have been drinking.
Well, guess what guys?
I think you can still be a perfectly decent (dare I spell out “nice”?) person…and get MORE high-quality women than any “bad boy” or “jerk”.
All it takes is DECONSTRUCTING exactly WHY “Mr. Nice Guy” loses with women.
First, this guy typically has a sexual “agenda” with women that a sense of personal shame keeps under wraps.
Thinking he’d scare women away were he an “oppressive sexual threat”, he dares not portray himself as a masculine presence.
“Neuter” doesn’t attract.
Next, “Mr. Nice Guy” is usually out to IMPRESS women by buying them stuff, doing endless favors, etc.
He wouldn’t do that for anyone other than a “hottie”, so no woman can trust him. Inspiring confidence and thereby instilling security in a woman is therefore an impossibility.
(And I mean really… it comes off kind of like that guy in the store who keeps calling you “sir” even though you’re sure his demeanor is completely different when he’s off the clock, right?)
Finally, being “extra nice” is usually a direct symptom of being needy and desperate… a dead giveaway that you DO NOT HAVE OPTIONS.
He’s clearly “not in her league”.
As for the idiot or jerk, he CAN indeed get somewhere with women… usually the ones with LOW SELF ESTEEM.
Well, maybe the woman feels she doesn’t deserve a great man, so it’s her lot to “suffer”.
Or, if the feedback I’ve gotten from certain women holds true, at least she feels she can TRUST that what she sees is what she gets when a guy is openly an asshole.
Are you noticing what’s going on under the surface here?
Ultimately, why the “nice guy” loses has NOTHING to do with being “nice”.
And, notwithstanding dysfunctional attachment to self-punishment, I don’t think it’s particularly necessary that a man be downright evil in order for a woman to know where she stands with him, either.
Even if she’s after the “bad boy type” (e.g. Harley, tattoos, etc.) there’s plenty of those guys out there who are perfectly decent people. All the while, they still having that sense of adventure and healthy appreciation for an adrenaline rush that women tend to crave.
You may even meet some of them and say,
“Man, that’s a nice guy.”
Basically, what you’ve just heard me imply that a high-quality woman will settle for NEITHER “Mr. Nice Guy” NOR a Jerk.
Well, as I’ve said before, the seldom-recognized champion over this entire phenomenon is a GREAT MAN.
And one of the few things that make sense in the dating world–disarmingly so in this case – is that GREAT MEN really do stand an excellent chance of getting GREAT WOMEN.
Over seventy years ago, Dale Carnegie published his seminal work How To Win Friends And Influence People, which to this day is a wildly popular best seller.
In fact, much of what you read today in terms of “how to” info on social dynamics can be traced back to roots in that book.
Here’s a great quote from it, so good that the author repeats it twice in context:
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
In other words, if you are only about meeting your own selfish needs, you’ll get nowhere with people.
And both the “Nice Guy” and the “Idiot/Jerk” are more interested in what they can get from a woman than they are interested in her.
What’s “Mr. Nice Guy’s” greatest fear?
You guessed it:
Being exiled to the “Just Be Friends Zone”.
So as a result, not only do you have guys out there who are trying NOT to be “nice” to women, they’re trying to AVOID being friends with her!
All this based on the prevailing “dating advice” guys are being given.
Somewhere, Dale Carnegie is rolling over in his grave.
Here it is:
The real PROBLEM with the” Just Friends Zone”.
Dale Carnegie’s book has sold millions of copies because it does an amazing job of living up to its title.
And guess what? It’s one of the best DATING ADVICE books I’ve ever read.
Because it teaches you how to attract PEOPLE.
And GREAT WOMEN, last I checked, classified as such.
When you genuinely care about others and let go of self-absorption, you not only start meeting the women you want… you get the added benefit of succeeding at work and in your social circles too.
So yeah, you can be a nice guy and get great women.
But only if you mean it, and only if you know how to make friends. No “hidden agendas” and no lazy selfishness allowed.
I realize that what I’m sharing with you here is completely different from what you’re used to hearing.
And make no mistake, this is about throwing out the dark ulterior motives that characterize “Mr. Nice Guy” and really, genuinely going about the matter of becoming the kind of high-character man who draws people unto himself magnetically.
No doubt you’ve heard talk out there about how to be “charismatic” and “alpha” in order to get women, haven’t you?
What a paradox to mix those concepts in with talk about being a “jerk” instead of a “nice guy”!
No wonder so many guys who are “chasing tail” end up chasing their OWN tail, right?
How Do You Talk To Women Without Getting Shamed Or Arrested Nowadays?
Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, you’ve been shocked and amazed by how brazen the anti-male movement has gotten.
The #MeToo hashtag is purposefully vague so as to shame practically any male for virtually any “offense”, all the while cheapening actual sexual assault and fostering a victim mentality among more women than ever.
And the pace at which the rich and famous are being called out, shamed and being ruined for sexual offenses–sometimes without any hard evidence, let alone due process–is enough to cause any man to run for his life.
But see, the truth is you’re NOT one of those guys.
You’re not a monster simply because you’re male and heterosexual.
And just because so many are being hit with allegations doesn’t mean you’re next to be accused.
Meanwhile, the vast majority of women are still 100% female and heterosexual. They never wanted it to come to this either.
Bold, confident masculinity is what turns on feminine sexual urges.
Sex is the most powerful force in the universe, and—news flash—politics can’t stop it and more than you and I could stop a freight train.
Remember, without you women are left unsatisfied…AND the human race would be extinct in 100 years.
So how do you wrap your head around this?
How do you attract women and interact with them without ever having to worry about them blowing the “sexual harassment” whistle on you?
How can you–even as a regular, decent guy–expect to initiate physical, sexual contact without having the “rape police” called on you?
These are the questions men ask my friend and long-time dating coach Scot McKay every day.
Hell, even WOMEN are writing him asking why men don’t even LOOK at them anymore, let alone talk to them or ask them out.
Obviously, it’s all spiraling out of control at breakneck speed.
Just yesterday I read an article about how male managers aren’t even hiring women anymore, and male employees are practically begging their bosses not to be put in the “socially perilous” position of working with women.
It’s gotten to where nearly ALL of us see virtually ANY interaction with ANY woman as a surefire way to have our reputations, careers and even our very freedom itself brought to ruins…again, all without due process.
So WHAT ARE WE TO DO?
I mean…should we drown in porn and die alone?
Hell no. There are rational, objective answers…and they make perfect sense when you know the truth:
Guys, this is what Invincible is ALL about.
I began work on this magnum opus project several years ago, shortly after the “street harassment” videos started sprouting up on YouTube.
Indeed, most of us saw this coming, but unlike others who stuck their head in the sand hoping the toxic gender politics would eventually subside and go away, he knew we had to hit this head on.
Your masculinity and your very future was, and remains, at stake.
Invincible brings answers, and it delivers actionable steps to succeed with women despite the current state of affairs in the world.
Leave that sinking feeling of frustration behind and take your power back, once and for all.
There’s nothing better than rising above the social melee surrounding male/female relations nowadays and getting the women you want ANYWAY…even as they adore you for it:
Don’t Let The Shamers Win!
The real, feminine women out there are waiting for you to step up.