When guys get nervous talking or approaching women, we call it: Approach Anxiety.
When women get nervous around men – we have a tendency to call it: Social Anxiety.
It’s almost like guys are expected to be social dysfunctional and women should have absolutely no reason to be nervous around a guy.
It’s the whole “girls have all the choices” and “men are supposed to chase them” thing.
You and I know the truth though, don’t we?
Women get nervous around men all the time.
This nervousness often leads to over-thinking, future living, questioning everything and anything he says or does as if his entire existence just maybe has something do with liking you, or not liking you.
It gets worse when you meet a guy who really has his shit together. He’s what appears on the surface at least: To be “The Total Package.”
You doubt yourself a little.
You might even question his intentions or motives for even talking to you.
If he grabs your number you wonder if he’s going to call.
When he’s going to call.
You might even guess on how many phone numbers he gets.
How many women he’s seeing or has slept with.
Aside from the unanswered questions or the mystery surrounding this “total package” you get a little nervous because he makes you feel something beyond the ordinary.
If you’re single and looking or waiting around, maybe hoping or just leaving your options open ( because no real guy has been good enough for you in a long time…) this nervousness has a way of creeping up on you because when you meet an available guy there appears to be nothing you can do about it.
Almost like it’s up to him and you have no control over how he might feel about you.
In fact you begin to thrive on those feelings of uneasiness because you know when you are experiencing them – it means he has suddenly become attractive to you.
He suddenly becomes an option in your life and you want it all to play out as naturally as possible.
If it doesn’t work out you’ll spend hours, days, weeks, sometime even months trying to tie up all the loose end so you fully understand what went wrong.
That only makes you even more self-conscious.
Suddenly you’re paying attention to more than you want to making it hard to stay in the moment.
He becomes fuzzy as your focus turns inward. Your heart beats a little faster. Your breath quickens.
Your hands reach for anything to direct all this energy and the moments pass you by like you’re racing in a car a hundred miles an hour…
You’re probably thinking: “Okay already. I DO get nervous around SOME men. What’s your point?”
Men get nervous too.
Their anxiety heightens just before the approach.
This nervousness stops so many men in their tracks – they seem only destined to meet friends of friends or accidental bump ins for something more.
When you think about it all – barring the extreme weirdness of course…
It’s completely natural for men and women to experience anxiety right before they meet all the way until the first or second kiss (and sometimes further.)
When you trigger a man’s attraction socially, and you’re doing the same to him then I would not only expect you both to be a little nervous but a little “anxious” to get to know each other.
With so many reasons and sometimes excuses that people miss meeting each other don’t let being nervous ever stop you from smiling or saying “Hello.”
If you’re a little nervous, it’s probably a good thing. If he’s a little nervous, well than that’s even better.
Because the both of you are only probably experiencing a chemistry which may only be described as: Attraction.
You’re going to meet men who are terrified by a confident woman because they believe there’s not even a remote possibility you will want them.
Add beauty and brains and you’re practically guaranteed to have those types of guys doubting themselves more than ever.
You’re also going to meet strong confident men who rarely get nervous around women.
They don’t bend at your every wish or command.
They offer a unique challenge which makes you stand up and notice every detail about him.
But don’t let them fool you – when they’re feeling it, you might not see it or recognize it but a part of them is a little nervous.
You – as a woman – as a human – as a person with a varied life history will always experience emotional urges – don’t let nervousness take over and cloud your judgement into believing a guy (especially the right guy) is going to judge that nervousness as nothing more than something he’s feeling too.
Some men find those little “quirks” adorable and actually make you more lovable.
Some men look to that nervousness as a sign you like being around him.
Some men see it as a real trait and place it higher than the stern unbreakable woman who appears far less approachable than you might believe.
And some guys…