There are no “hard” rules in texting back and forth when it relates to men and women who are either dating or in the “liking each other” phase because each circumstance appears to be a little different but…
If you want a guy to like you (more), a constant stream of texting will not help. It usually makes it worse. I’m a guy who is telling you the absolute truth.
Today’s “episode” of the “Secret Dirty Truth About Men” will reveal to you:
- Why a guy won’t text you back or why you’re being ignored.
- When and why you should or should NOT text him back again or a second time.
- What happens to a guy when he feels he is being over-texted.
- Two easy texts to send him which will reveal how he feels about you.
Why a guy won’t text you back or why you’re being ignored.
It’s rather strange how this whole phone stuff works. Texting someone or sending a message back is not that difficult, right? Pick it up, type some words, hit send…
But trust me from a guy’s point of view, it is work. Which means we need a good reason, desire, want, or need to get back to you AND we must be able to get back to you.
Here’s a list quoted from one of my modestly stated most-famous articles on texting:
1. He’s busy at work.
2. His phone service sucks.
3. He has a wife or girlfriend who is close by.
4. He’s on a date.
5. He’s having sex with another woman.. or man. :O
6. You send him too many “forwards.”
7. You don’t send him any real pictures of you.
8. He’s not interested or attracted to you.
9. He thinks texting you back too quickly goes against the “dating code.”
10. He’s driving somewhere.
11. His battery is dead or his phone is lost once again.
12. He is showering or doing something in the bathroom.
13. He is masturbating.
You can see there are many reasons (absurd or not) when we get a message and we can’t or won’t respond to you so never forget this IF you want the guy to like you to continue texting you … sending another message will not change that fact at all. Sending a multiple stream of texting over any period of time will not change the situation we are in. It doesn’t change what we are doing.
Sometimes it’s because we just don’t want to respond because we’re doing something we don’t want a break from it.
Sometimes it’s because we know you all too well – replying to a text message means ten more are coming OR we’re bound to discuss the same old issues again and again.
Sometimes it’s impossible to get back to you because our focus is somewhere else. We’re NOT good at switching our brains on a whim and practicing that “art” is not high on our list. We like the way we are. 😀
In other words – a man’s mind is typically a one way street. When our focus is on something specific, switching to something new (even if it’s just a text) is extremely tough. As I’m writing this article and get a text, I won’t respond because I lose focus and it takes me that much longer to figure out what I was writing about so unless you’re my wife, there’s a 1% chance, if that, you’ll hear back from me until I’m done.
Take notice to something very important I wrote in that last paragraph – my wife – because that’s very important in texting…
9 times out of 10 a guy will NOT ignore a woman’s text he is “into” unless you give him every reason to start ignoring you.
You can see I’m totally INTO my wife. She’s not texting random shit. It’s important and she’s important to me. Which is why she gets priority. BUT she’s also fully aware and understanding there are times when texting back is literally impossible. I’m not choosing to ignore her. The only reason is that I can not physically message her back as in reasons 1,2,10,12, or in the rare event #13.
Chances are IF a guy is actually ignoring your text something else is going on:
He’s not that interested or attracted to you as much as you’d like.
Yes, that sucks but think positive here. If it only takes a few texts to figure out whether a guy likes you or not, that leaves you more time, less hurt, less being bullshitted or pushed aside, and lots of new time to find a guy who IS going to text you back quicker because he actually does like you.
Here’s my quick two text message you can send any guy which will reveal how he feels about you:
I was just thinking about you. 🙂
If you get no response within five minutes…
HA! And now you have the pleasure of thinking about me. 😉
Make sure you follow the rules which are listed in the post: Reveal How He Feels With Two Quick Text Messages
When and why you should or should NOT text him back again.
I imagine most of you came to this article for this quick answer and I won’t make you wait any longer. If you’ve followed along so far (which I know you have) you’re smart enough to have already figured out it anyways, but I will elaborate more and make it as clear as possible for you.
If it’s not obvious, if you know he’s at work or possibly driving somewhere or in any circumstance where getting back to you could cause some real problems like getting fired, getting in an accident, falling off the toilet, etc… then just wait.
Give him a reasonable amount of time to get back to you and do NOT send another message.
Sending a guy way too many messages (unless you’re absolutely positively sure he could be in serious trouble which is rare) before you hear back from him will only lead to him not getting back to you or losing his interest in you altogether.
Think of a guy who is always up your ass and you want nothing to do with him. You’re nice to him and respond to his messages but he’s doesn’t seem to be getting the point. Sooner or later your niceness turns to anger and frustration. WELL, the same thing happens to a guy too and you do NOT want to be that girl. You have a chance up until you start pissing him off with the over-texting or annoying him. You’ll destroy the little interest he had in you quickly and there’s no turning back after that happens.
If he’s not getting back to you AND he’s a little interested in you something else is happening which is just yet another reason to NOT text him back until you hear from him.
One, because he knows texting you back will lead to many texts or a conversation which he doesn’t want at this point in time or can not, depending on the situation and TWO: Because you want to CREATE MORE ATTRACTION AND INTEREST and not destroy it.
By not sending many unanswered texts again and again shows him: You have a life outside of him. You’re busy too. You’re not needy or desperate for him to respond. You’re creating good tension. He’ll understand texting back is something which is good. You’re okay with leaving him in suspense. And many other things too.
The point is USE your texting to create more interest and not destroy it.
If you want a response – give him a really good reason to get back to you and make sure the pattern you’ve set for messaging gives him a need or desire or want to get back to you as quickly as he can.
Here’s something I would seriously consider if this is a re-occurring problem for you. It’s a man I’m affiliated with, James Bauer (article here with lots of cool free stuff and advice on attracting men) and seems to fit perfectly here:
“It was with a signal that would immediately get his attention. Even something like a text message or Facebook message would work. So I gave Rachel a simple 12-word text that she could send to Mike. And though I didn’t realize it at the time, I had just created the very first “Secret Signal”.”
These or those are normal everyday circumstance between two people who are getting to know each other or know each other and are exploring attraction and interest or are just friends who might be turning into something more.
What if you went on a date with him?
Follow the advice of this dating coach, David Wygant, because it’s tried, tested, and proven to help you:
“If after going out on a date with a guy you have texted him twice without a return text, DELETE THAT NUMBER!”
.Remember in the first paragraph how I said there are not “hard” rules of texting, well I lied, we’re going to make one for you because just by being here you might want or need one.
Meaning you came here because you feel you’re being ignored or you just want to know an exact time or rule to follow to re-text a guy AND because up until now – it hasn’t been made clear to you based on what I’ve written for you.
Here it is…. drum roll please….
Do NOT text him again twice the normal length of your average silence.
Yes. I made a hard rule of texting. Follow it if you dare.
Twice the normal length of your average silence.
If you text back and forth and don’t again for a few days, wait twice that time before you send a second text AND the second text should have little or nothing to do with your first.
This tells the guy you’re not a “stalker”. How you’re not going to get all bent out of shape when he won’t get back at a moments notice. It will also suggest a better pattern for the next time.
It gets the guy thinking, “I am free to text back without fear of having to answer forty more texts.” which will make him more likely to get back to you sooner.
My best advice is to AVOID sending several texts without a response. Be patient and real about the situation.
Now I understand this problem of “ignoring” a woman goes much deeper. There are way too many areas to discover or discuss. Today’s topic was just about texting and a little about interest and attraction.
If you feel you want to go deeper into the whole of men ignoring you, going silent, or just not communicating to you then I strongly suggest you start reading my free online Ebook at Why Do Guys…? titled: Silent Guys – Why Men Go Quiet, Won’t Share Feelings, or Ignore Women. It covers all the reasons and hopefully will enlighten you on all the details of understanding men.