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He Ignored Your Text – Should You Text Him Again?

He-Ignore-Woman-Texting-Rules

There are no “hard” rules in texting back and forth when it relates to men and woman who are either dating or “liking” each other.

but…

If you want a guy to like you (more), a constant stream of texting won’t help at all.

There are too many instances when we get a message and we can’t or won’t respond and sending another message will not change that fact.

Sometimes it’s because we just don’t want to.

Sometimes it’s because we know you all too well – replying to a text message means ten more are coming OR we’re bound to discuss the same old issues.

Sometimes it’s impossible to get back to you because our focus is somewhere else. We’re NOT good at switching focus on a whim and practicing that “art” is not high on our list. We like the way we are. 😀

I will say this:

9 times out of 10 a guy will NOT ignore a woman he is into UNLESS you give him every reason to start ignoring you.

“If after going out on a date with a guy you have texted him twice without a return text, DELETE THAT NUMBER!” He Is Not Texting or Calling – When Is It Time To Delete His Number?

Think of a guy who is always up your ass and you want nothing to do with him. Sooner or later your apathy towards him changes to frustration and then sudden outbursts of anger when he just won’t get the point.

The last thing you want to do to an apathetic man is to frustrate and then anger him because he will then begin to predict it will happen again.

This means he’s NOT ignoring you IF the circumstances are normal and mind you, most of VERY normal with very few exceptions. I understand how so many people think, “but my situation is different” I assure you it’s not.

Again, think of all the men who try to “be different” with a woman (or you) and he just doesn’t see how his “trying to be different” is actually him just being like every other guy who is trying.

Okay, now we have the most obvious answer to a guy who is supposedly ignoring your ONE text – Do NOT text him again twice the normal length of your average silence.

Yes. I made a hard rule of texting. Follow it if you dare. :p

Twice the normal length of your average silence.

If you text back and forth and don’t again for a few days, wait twice that time before you send a second text AND the second text should have little to do with your first.

This tells the guy you’re not a stalker. How you’re not going to get all bent out of shape when he won’t get back at a moments notice. It will also suggest a better pattern for the next time.

It gets the guy thinking, “I am free to text back without fear of having to answer forty more texts.” which will make him more likely to get back to you sooner.

Now I understand this problem of “ignoring” a woman goes much deeper. There are way too many areas to discover or discuss.

BUT I will say this again,

A guy will not ignore a woman’s text (if he’s into her) unless she gives him every reason to start ignoring her.

Special circumstances? Perhaps… here is where I tell you… 13 Real Reasons Why A Guy Will Not, Can Not, or Does Not Text You Back.

Most of the time it’s not possible to respond or we like to wait until we’re comfortable and less distracted.

Remember the focus thing about guys. It’s narrow. We are not good or don’t like to bounce back and forth.

If I’m focused on my job it is mentally exhausting, and perhaps tougher for us guys, to switch our focus to anything else especially if that new focus is someone we’re emotionally connected with, like a woman we like.

My best advice is to AVOID sending several texts and be patient and real about the situation.

Man Ignoring Woman She Unhappy

You’ll never believe all the reasons why a guy will ignore a woman. Some of them are absolutely absurd.

Thanks for stopping by – Peter White Why Do Guys…?

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15 comments… add one
  • Shoshanna

    Not long ago I saw online an advice that YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER text a guy first. What do you think about that Peter? I usually don’t and I can’t imagine texting a man again if he ignores me… unless it would be to check whether he’s not dead or something.

    • Peter White

      It’s all situational Shoshanna. Meaning a rule like that doesn’t work because it depends on the what happened up to the texting will help you and I decide when and when not to text first.

  • Daisy

    I met this guy and his hot and cold texting is driving me crazy. Basicly i was at a party he was working as a server, i noticed he kept smiling at me. We got talking, exchanged numbers and went out the following night and had a great time, he came back to my hotel room (i was just visiting town). Next day he was full of compliments how much he liked me how beautiful i am etc, how he wished i lived in his town because he was really into me, couldnt believe his luck that such a beautiful girl liked him etc. I had to head home (2hrs away) and texted him when i got back what a great time i had and he said he did too, said again he really wished i lived in his town. We talked over text for a few days, he was saying he wanted to come visit me and that he never meets girls like me, calling me babe things like that making it seem like he is really into me. Then silence. Crickets. Nothing. I texted him a couple days later and i sent him a flirty pic, he responded by sending me several pretty racy pics of his own and said he was thinking about me. The next day he texted me when he woke up asking how i was and i replied, he send me another couple texts then just vanished. Heard basicly nothing from him since (this is day 4) last night he liked some of my photos on facebook so i sent him a message about one of his photos that i thought was funny, he texted me straight back but it was really short and no kisses so i texted back again and said sort of jokey “aw no kisses?” He text me back about 10 mins later saying he was driving with a smiley face calling me babe and lots of kisses. I replied like an hour later and said thats cool ive just had a rough day. That was last night and nothing since! Its really annoying me and starting to put me off him. Im used to guys being forward with me and people tell me all the time that im attractive, i have no idea if this guy even likes me and it is frustrating me. Should i just forget him. Is he just not good at texting or is just not that into me?

    • Stilled

      Seems like his responding in not that bad of a timeframe ( within a day or two). He’s probably into you physically, as you were into him, but maybe not Interested in a relationship or in dating. Most likely wants to visit and hook up again. Besides that, don’t hold out for too much more, guys often don’t live up to women’s expectations of text back times, and incessant texting may give guys the idea that girl is needy.

  • Nicole

    What? is a man a child? Don’t do this or that for fear he can’t handle it. All this crap of not being able to say what you feel for fear he “might get annoyed”. How do you know he isn’t emotionally unavailable? Immature?
    Ladies, stoooop being inauthentic with men. Unless you are nonstop contacting him, if he can’t handle your words, jump ship. Say how you feel and always be real. The right guy won’t mind.

  • Andrea

    Hi! Thanks for this article. Really helps me and if absolutely right about ignoring. My bf ignored me for 5 days because of an argument and then I kept texting and calllinf cos I hate being ignored so what he did is he ignored me for more days! That really drive me nuts. And then one time I just stop texting him but I let him know I really love him and now he just texted me saying he just needed that time and that I kept texting crazy. But he reads my text messages. I guess we are okay now 🙂

    • Anushka Kasti

      Can you suggest me. I am having the same problem wid me… and for howmany days he ignored you?

  • Lauren

    So I met this guy two weeks ago and we’ve been speaking a lot but sometimes he doesn’t repsond but he reads them and then responds like hours later or the next day. Anyway this week he messages me all upset and says he likes me but I’m so guarded and he’s interested but feels like he needs someone to make him feel like they actually want him becuase his ex didn’t and that’s why he never ends up meeting no one. So the convo got pretty deep and I told him I was into him, just bad experiences etc. So we’re texting normally for like 2 days and we’re arranging a date he just said give him some time because everyone costs money, so then today we’ve text and I said like hope he had s good night because he was out yesterday and he’s read them all and not responded, but looked at my stories on insta and Snapchat – I don’t wanna text him again but then I know he wants to feel wanted so I’m confused, should I just back off now and wait for him to message me again. I feel like this is over now and I don’t know why!

    • Peter White

      Hello Lauren,

      First thing Lauren – two weeks is a little too early for a guy to be saying that he needs someone to make him feel like they actually want him. Mentioning how his ex treated him is also not a good sign this early on. Last bad sign, when he claimed that’s “why” he never meets anyone – because? He wants a woman to very early and very quickly prove or show or “make” him feel all wanted and loved.

      All the while you’re saying “he” is the one who isn’t getting back to you “normally” or quickly enough.

      I can understand why you’re so confused.

      Personally, it sounds like he might be one of those guys who wants to sit back and let them “woman” do all the work to save himself from hurt and/or make him feel like he’s in charge, instead of just taking the lead and dealing with the consequences no matter what happens.

      You can’t feel threatened or made to act quickly within a few weeks, and any guy whose intentions are to passively aggressive get something out of you may not be good news.

      Think about it – you were a little worried he was not into you because he wasn’t getting back to you “normally” and then suddenly he’s making you feel like you’re doing something wrong, and how you are not making him feel not liked, and how you’re guarded, and how it’s not his fault, he’s just been hurt in the past… Hopefully you can see what is happening.

      It appears he wants some woman to be totally into him, borderline obsessed, so he feels loved, and then and only then, can he decide to move forward. Which leaves you in a tough situation. Which leaves you more vulnerable than him. Which keeps you on edge while he gets to “feel” like a man instead of just acting like a real man and do the “manly” thing.

      I wouldn’t worry about this guy at all. If it’s over – which I doubt it is for him as long as he keeps you coming back and priming his Ego up, he’ll keep you waiting around for as long as he needs it.

      It’s only been two weeks which means you have little invested. Personally I’d step back and expect him to “man” up, take the lead, and start heading in the right direction. Within a reasonable amount of time of course.

      Again, it’s not over but I’d expect more of the same as long as he feels like he is maintaining his version of leading or “controlling” the situation.

      All the best to you,

      Pete

  • Courtney

    I read this article hoping to find answers for what went wrong. I’ve been talking to this guy for a couple weeks and we went on one date. He showed signs of interest such as deep stares, playful teasing and touching, opened up a lot about his family, and he gave me a longish hug afterwards, said that he had a good time(more than once) and that we needed to hangout again, and to text him once I got home, so I did. He was texting with quick replies, but when I texted him good morning a day later, he never sent anything back, its been a couple days now and honestly it hurts, makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. I just don’t understand, everything was fine before. He would call me and text me frequently everyday. The date lasted about 9 hours. I thought that the date would’ve ended sooner if he wasn’t having a good time.

  • Catherine

    There is this guy who was playing in a live band I saw in the weekend at a bar. My friends cousin in law plays in the band so they know them. The guitarist was cute so I happened that to mention to my friends cousin. She told him later I was interested so she told me he said to add him on Facebook. I waited until the next evening then sent him a message saying “hey you guys put on a great show” (not exactly quoting but this is the gist) He replied saying thanks, glad you enjoyed! (This seemed like a dead end answer for me. I answered saying I’ll have to come out to watch you guys again one day, no answer in a few days. He seems uninterested but it’s comfusing cause why would he say to add him knowing why I wanted to talk to him? She told him I was interested…

  • Anushka Kasti

    My boyfriend just start to ignore me after having an argument.. before argument he always used to text me first. But after an argument he just start to ignore me. Its really feel bad. And I want him to treat me and talk me like before.. what should I do now?

  • Maria

    Dear Peter,

    I met a guy and our conversation went very well. He showed big interest and asked me for a date (which should take place in a week). We were texting few times and I kept answering him with big messages just simply talking too much. He suddenly ignores me and doesn’t reply anymore for already 3 days, though I asked him some questions. I am pretty sure he didn’t like the amount of text I sent him and is turned off by me. What is the best way to approach him: “Have you decided for a location for our date?” or “I talked too much last time. Are you still in for the date or did I put you off?” ? Is the honest way better or should I pretend that we are of course still up for the date and I didn’t even “realize” that he ignored me?

    Thank you for your help!

    Maria

  • Heather

    I been chatting to this guy everyday and he responds immediately. I sent a video to a guy I liked and he responded affectionately, so then I confessed to him I wish he was next to me and I want to kiss you etc. Then he read my message and ignored it, has he lost interest in me? Did I do something wrong?

    • Peter White

      Unfortunately Heather it’s hard for me to tell if you did something wrong based on the information I have about your situation. However I will guess for you. One of two things happened. 1. He’s not interested in those things with you. OR 2. He didn’t know what to say back, thought about it for a while, and in his confusion stayed silent. Some guys are not good at responding to those type of messages OR some guys want to be the ones who start that type of messaging.

      Take a look at the nature of your relationship, how much you’ve flirted, the type of conversations you have, where you met, and the type of guy he is and you might find your answer there. If not, write back and I’ll try and get back to you with more info in a short time.

      Thanks for writing in and the best of luck to you,
      Pete

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