He Ignored Your Text – Should You Text Him Again?

Man Looking At Text Message On Phone

There are no “hard” rules in texting back and forth when it relates to men and women who are either dating or in the “liking each other” phase because each circumstance appears to be a little different but…

If you want a guy to like you (more), a constant stream of texting will not help. It usually makes it worse. I’m a guy who is telling you the absolute truth.

Today’s “episode” of the “Secret Dirty Truth About Men” will reveal to you:

  • Why a guy won’t text you back or why you’re being ignored.
  • When and why you should or should NOT text him back again or a second time.
  • What happens to a guy when he feels he is being over-texted.
  • Two easy texts to send him which will reveal how he feels about you.

Why a guy won’t text you back or why you’re being ignored.

It’s rather strange how this whole phone stuff works. Texting someone or sending a message back is not that difficult, right? Pick it up, type some words, hit send…

But trust me from a guy’s point of view, it is work. Which means we need a good reason, desire, want, or need to get back to you AND we must be able to get back to you.

Here’s a list quoted from one of my modestly stated most-famous articles on texting:

1. He’s busy at work.
2. His phone service sucks.
3. He has a wife or girlfriend who is close by.
4. He’s on a date.
5. He’s having sex with another woman.. or man. :O
6. You send him too many “forwards.”
7. You don’t send him any real pictures of you.
8. He’s not interested or attracted to you.
9. He thinks texting you back too quickly goes against the “dating code.”
10. He’s driving somewhere.
11. His battery is dead or his phone is lost once again.
12. He is showering or doing something in the bathroom.
13. He is masturbating.

13 Real Reasons Why A Guy Will Not, Can Not, or Does Not Text You Back

You can see there are many reasons (absurd or not) when we get a message and we can’t or won’t respond to you so never forget this IF you want the guy to like you to continue texting you … sending another message will not change that fact at all. Sending a multiple stream of texting over any period of time will not change the situation we are in. It doesn’t change what we are doing.

Sometimes it’s because we just don’t want to respond because we’re doing something we don’t want a break from it.

Sometimes it’s because we know you all too well – replying to a text message means ten more are coming OR we’re bound to discuss the same old issues again and again.

Sometimes it’s impossible to get back to you because our focus is somewhere else. We’re NOT good at switching our brains on a whim and practicing that “art” is not high on our list. We like the way we are. 😀

In other words – a man’s mind is typically a one way street. When our focus is on something specific, switching to something new (even if it’s just a text) is extremely tough. As I’m writing this article and get a text, I won’t respond because I lose focus and it takes me that much longer to figure out what I was writing about so unless you’re my wife, there’s a 1% chance, if that, you’ll hear back from me until I’m done.

Take notice to something very important I wrote in that last paragraph – my wife – because that’s very important in texting…

9 times out of 10 a guy will NOT ignore a woman’s text he is “into” unless you give him every reason to start ignoring you.

You can see I’m totally INTO my wife. She’s not texting random shit. It’s important and she’s important to me. Which is why she gets priority. BUT she’s also fully aware and understanding there are times when texting back is literally impossible. I’m not choosing to ignore her. The only reason is that I can not physically message her back as in reasons 1,2,10,12, or in the rare event #13.

Chances are IF a guy is actually ignoring your text something else is going on:

He’s not that interested or attracted to you as much as you’d like.

Yes, that sucks but think positive here. If it only takes a few texts to figure out whether a guy likes you or not, that leaves you more time, less hurt, less being bullshitted or pushed aside, and lots of new time to find a guy who IS going to text you back quicker because he actually does like you.

Here’s my quick two text message you can send any guy which will reveal how he feels about you:

SEND THIS:

I was just thinking about you. 🙂

If you get no response within five minutes…

SEND THIS:

HA! And now you have the pleasure of thinking about me. 😉

Make sure you follow the rules which are listed in the post:  Reveal How He Feels With Two Quick Text Messages

When and why you should or should NOT text him back again.

Guy Car Not Text Phone Back

I imagine most of you came to this article for this quick answer and I won’t make you wait any longer. If you’ve followed along so far (which I know you have) you’re smart enough to have already figured out it anyways, but I will elaborate more and make it as clear as possible for you.

If it’s not obvious, if you know he’s at work or possibly driving somewhere or in any circumstance where getting back to you could cause some real problems like getting fired, getting in an accident, falling off the toilet, etc… then just wait.

Give him a reasonable amount of time to get back to you and do NOT send another message.

Sending a guy way too many messages (unless you’re absolutely positively sure he could be in serious trouble which is rare) before you hear back from him will only lead to him not getting back to you or losing his interest in you altogether.

Think of a guy who is always up your ass and you want nothing to do with him. You’re nice to him and respond to his messages but he’s doesn’t seem to be getting the point. Sooner or later your niceness turns to anger and frustration. WELL, the same thing happens to a guy too and you do NOT want to be that girl. You have a chance up until you start pissing him off with the over-texting or annoying him. You’ll destroy the little interest he had in you quickly and there’s no turning back after that happens.

If he’s not getting back to you AND he’s a little interested in you something else is happening which is just yet another reason to NOT text him back until you hear from him.

One, because he knows texting you back will lead to many texts or a conversation which he doesn’t want at this point in time or can not, depending on the situation and TWO: Because you want to CREATE MORE ATTRACTION AND INTEREST and not destroy it.

By not sending many unanswered texts again and again shows him: You have a life outside of him. You’re busy too. You’re not needy or desperate for him to respond.  You’re creating good tension. He’ll understand texting back is something which is good. You’re okay with leaving him in suspense. And many other things too.

The point is USE your texting to create more interest and not destroy it.

If you want a response – give him a really good reason to get back to you and make sure the pattern you’ve set for messaging gives him a need or desire or want to get back to you as quickly as he can.

Here’s something I would seriously consider if this is a re-occurring problem for you. It’s a man I’m affiliated with, James Bauer (article here with lots of cool free stuff and advice on attracting men) and seems to fit perfectly here:

“It was with a signal that would immediately get his attention. Even something like a text message or Facebook message would work. So I gave Rachel a simple 12-word text that she could send to Mike. And though I didn’t realize it at the time, I had just created the very first “Secret Signal”.”

The 12 Word Text Men Can’t Resist – Become His Secret Obsession

These or those are normal everyday circumstance between two people who are getting to know each other or know each other and are exploring attraction and interest or are just friends who might be turning into something more.

What if you went on a date with him?

Follow the advice of this dating coach, David Wygant, because it’s tried, tested, and proven to help you:

“If after going out on a date with a guy you have texted him twice without a return text, DELETE THAT NUMBER!”

He Is Not Texting or Calling – When Is It Time To Delete His Number?

.Remember in the first paragraph how I said there are not “hard” rules of texting, well I lied, we’re going to make one for you because just by being here you might want or need one.

Meaning you came here because you feel you’re being ignored or you just want to know an exact time or rule to follow to re-text a guy AND because up until now – it hasn’t been made clear to you based on what I’ve written for you.

Here it is…. drum roll please….

Do NOT text him again twice the normal length of your average silence.

Yes. I made a hard rule of texting. Follow it if you dare.

Twice the normal length of your average silence.

If you text back and forth and don’t again for a few days, wait twice that time before you send a second text AND the second text should have little or nothing to do with your first.

This tells the guy you’re not a “stalker”. How you’re not going to get all bent out of shape when he won’t get back at a moments notice. It will also suggest a better pattern for the next time.

It gets the guy thinking, “I am free to text back without fear of having to answer forty more texts.” which will make him more likely to get back to you sooner.

My best advice is to AVOID sending several texts without a response. Be patient and real about the situation.

Now I understand this problem of “ignoring” a woman goes much deeper. There are way too many areas to discover or discuss. Today’s topic was just about texting and a little about interest and attraction.

If you feel you want to go deeper into the whole of men ignoring you, going silent, or just not communicating to you then I strongly suggest you start reading my free online Ebook at Why Do Guys…? titled: Silent Guys – Why Men Go Quiet, Won’t Share Feelings, or Ignore Women. It covers all the reasons and hopefully will enlighten you on all the details of understanding men.

Sign up below for your free copy of my 80 page book – “The Silent Man – Why men go silent, ignore you, or fail to share their feelings.”

  • The 6 main reasons men will go silent and ignore you. Once you know these you’ll never have to ask why is he not talking to you ever again.
  • 49 personal situations that reveal (from a guy’s point of view) about why he has stopped contacting you.
  • You’ll find out if it’s him or you so you can fix and best figure out what to do next. Finally get some closure to either move on or remove him from your life!
  • Start changing how you see men & how they see you by understanding how your communication differences might be stopping you from connecting with him or all men.
  • 80 pages filled with everything you’ll ever need to know about why men go silent. (Only one picture so when I say it’s full – I meant it!

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20 comments… add one
  • Liesel

    I met this guy in 2012 and we hit it off and almost dated except things didn’t completely work out. Since then we’ve both dated diff people but we stayed in touch. We would talk about the relatiinships we were in, how we probably are struggling on life and also joked a lot about how we would keep each other as contigency amd consider marrying each other when he turns 30 lol. We are so close, no awkward moments, we chill, talk and half the time end up cuddling and touching but nothing sexual. Problem is we bumped into each other recently and he figured out that i waa single. He started making subtle advancements but i kind of figured he waa in a relationship which he denies. I like this guy so much and am willing to give us a chance. Now i told him that he has to decide what he wants with me. He asked to see me face to face which really didn’t yield anything cz instead of talking he jist cuddled me and talled about everything except that conversation. We had a good time actually but my problem is he doesn’t text. His excuse is work and a lot of chats on his whatsapp which add up to over 200 ( I’ve actually seen them ). But I’m fristrated and don’t know to approach this or move on. He told me he sees the chemistry between us but doesn’t know what to do. May i have some insight

    • Peter White

      A few things here which might give you the insight you’re looking for and the many problems I see. 

       First, he started making advancements but you figured he was in a relationship, which he denied.

      Is he or isn’t he in a relationship? That’s kind of important.

        It sounds like to me that you don’t believe him, just imagine what that feels like to him. If you don’t trust what he’s saying is honest AND he doesn’t think you believe what he says – chances are he will RARELY if EVER open up to you – which means long bouts of silence and a refusal to talk to you about anything important related to both of you. Something you already recently experienced.

        He may open up about others but not the relationship or lack of one between you two.

        Second, telling a man he has to decide is NOT something you ever want to do with a guy you actually want a relationship with. Even if it works, it creates many problems down the road. You can’t talk your way into a relationship with a guy and you certainly can NOT put an ultimatum out there and expect things to work out in a positive way.

        I understand you want him to choose, that’s okay. Nothing wrong with knowing where things are or if you should waste your time on a guy who will only keep you on the hook indefinitely. BUT I guarantee, giving the ultimatum, or telling a guy he has to decide will not have a positive ending.

       Both men and women like to think or believe THEY are making the right decision and someone isn’t forcing them to do it. 

        Third, what’s the big deal about texting? Is it really that important? You wrote, “We had a good time actually but my problem is he doesn’t text.”

        Is that really the problem? Do you feel left out? Does it feel like unless he texts you back, a relationship with him or furthering the dating phase hinges on how often he does it?

        Listen, if you text him 5 times and he only texts you back once, then only text him once. Trust me, basing any kind of relationship on texting patterns is an area which again, never works out for the better.

        Fourth, take an objective look at your situation with this guy. A real hard look beneath the surface. You both agreed to be a contingency plan. Which, looking from the outside is like saying,

      “We’ll settle for each other later… if nothing better comes along.”

        Now obviously you both said it as a joke and it didn’t really mean anything… or did it?

        I would NEVER expect a man or woman to jump into something willingly when it feels like they are settling. Sure I’ve seen it work out (once or twice) but that’s because the couple couldn’t get together for reasons much different than – IF it doesn’t work out with someone else.

       If this man feels like he’s only settling with you or you are only settling for him – chances are he’s never going to be ready to move forward.

        That could be a big part of his confusion. He doesn’t know if you’re right for him, he doesn’t like that you want him to decide now, he’s not up to opening up to you to discuss all of it because of fears, lots of them, and your insistence on texting him when he can not get back to you only is pushing him further away.

      What you could be feeling from him is purely emotional support. Someone to hang out with and possibly more but he obviously needs time to figure out of that’s what he wants – considering he may feel like he’s settling with you.

      Hope that helps you gain some better insight into your situation.

      All the best,
      Pete

  • Lady

    I met someone off of an online dating site not knowing he was an ex NFL player at that time it was not listed on his profile. He listed his age, claim never been married and had no children. Ok we started dating. We went out several times over a period of time and he would pick me up always from my house. Ok the first few times I didn’t think anything about it when he told me he use to play for 3 NFL teams until he retired. The first time we went out to a public restaurant very nice then afterwards he always wanted to pickup take out and go back to what I considered his bachelor pad that might be shared w/other. It was gated secured and nice but something was off. Yes I spend the night there but then I notice something I didn’t like and it made me unhappy sad and confused. He was sending mix sendings. All of a sudden he mentioned he usually don’t date women over a certain age and actually I was too old for him but he made an exception because I didn’t look my age and he liked me but yet all the times I was w/this man he never once kissed me. No passion no kissing no cuddling. Actually no making love straight f/&?k&!; and it was all about pleasing him. He would talk throughout our time together and give me instructions of what he wanted and what he didn’t. He never cared about pleasing me it was just him getting his rocks off. I always felt incomplete and frustrated. He didn’t like you asking him questions which was uncomfortable for me. Then all of a sudden he claimed to have had a 9yr daughter that he had to pickup every weekend so his weekends were unavailable. He only wanted to see you or be bothered when it was convenient for him a few hours here and there. Then in the beginning when I would go over to his place it was fun and we could get underneath covers then that changed if we got into anything it was always on top of the covers with a towel under us. I speculated I was not the only one he was seeing. This was straight up a playboy or married but yet I was to be available at his convenience as he claim to be so busy all the time yet he felt he could show up at my place whenever it was convenient for him. Never would kiss me. My feelings was hurt. Never seen any indicators that a little girl came there as he didn’t have pictures of his daughter or nothing. Whenever we would get together he would always jump up to wash himself off immediately like I was dirt and if I tried to cuddle or lay on his chest he would push me away. It left me feeling like a piece of crap. Yet whenever I would go on this dating site there he was his picture would pop up of him talking to other women. When he would see me appear he would immediately get off. In my opinion I was just a casual date/friend. He treated me ice cold. I noticed he had added his NFL picture from when he played w/one of his teams for 8 seasons. I never asked him for anything other than a little more communication because I’m not a mind reader and I never bothered him w/texts. I was lucky only when he wanted to connect. I only call every blue moon as he did me. I’ve left him alone – too many red flags. I’ve never dealt w/a man that didn’t kiss, cuddle treated me like so trash. I just don’t understand. He lied overall on his profile. I give/my instinct he was either married or had a significant other and this place was used as his man cave to bring dates. Something just didn’t add up. (Frustrated)

  • Katie mahon

    Men are so confusing, guy I work with, we get on really well, had two coffee days out of work nothing happened not even a kiss.. he text me to say what a great evening he had, I told him I also had but only one thing was missing (kiss) he agreed.. I text him that, “I really wanted to kiss him, and that I hope that doesn’t make things awkward”. He replies with things are still the same no awkwardness and to let him know when I’m in his home town but does not acknowledge the kiss part of text or admit he felt the same . Few weeks later I’m in his home town, I let him know say maybe we meet for coffee.. he texts straight away saying yes but how about we go for a spot of food.. we meeet, he gives me a massive hug and leaves his arm around me for a few seconds as we walk, lunch goes great loads of laughs and chatting, he pays for our lunch and as we walk back to bus stop to go separate ways he once again put arm around for only a few seconds and gives me big hug goodbye and tells me keep in touch. I text to say I got home how he looked great and thanks for paying for my food and he instantly texts back told me I looked fantastic.. I sent a funny cuddle buddy application form to which he sent the laughing emoji, I said it was an offer and to think about it and let me know, a week later I text him did he come to a decision on cuddle buddy application that was two days ago no reply, Hes been online loads since.. I’m so confused as to what’s going on, maybe I read the signals wrong.. am I being friend zoned or what should I do? We no longer work together

  • Han

    So i was dating a guy for about 4 weeks, been on about 5 dates. Organised another one and since the 4th date (after we did the deed), his texting became awful. I decided to try one more date and in person the date was great as per always. We organised another date for the week after but texted him over the weekend to see how he was. Nothing back and now I’m wondering if I should see if the date is still on! HELP!

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