He Ignored Your Text – Should You Text Him Again?

Man Looking At Text Message On Phone

There are no “hard” rules in texting back and forth when it relates to men and women who are either dating or in the “liking each other” phase because each circumstance appears to be a little different but…

If you want a guy to like you (more), a constant stream of texting will not help. It usually makes it worse. I’m a guy who is telling you the absolute truth.

Today’s “episode” of the “Secret Dirty Truth About Men” will reveal to you:

  • Why a guy won’t text you back or why you’re being ignored.
  • When and why you should or should NOT text him back again or a second time.
  • What happens to a guy when he feels he is being over-texted.
  • Two easy texts to send him which will reveal how he feels about you.

Why a guy won’t text you back or why you’re being ignored.

It’s rather strange how this whole phone stuff works. Texting someone or sending a message back is not that difficult, right? Pick it up, type some words, hit send…

But trust me from a guy’s point of view, it is work. Which means we need a good reason, desire, want, or need to get back to you AND we must be able to get back to you.

Here’s a list quoted from one of my modestly stated most-famous articles on texting:

1. He’s busy at work.
2. His phone service sucks.
3. He has a wife or girlfriend who is close by.
4. He’s on a date.
5. He’s having sex with another woman.. or man. :O
6. You send him too many “forwards.”
7. You don’t send him any real pictures of you.
8. He’s not interested or attracted to you.
9. He thinks texting you back too quickly goes against the “dating code.”
10. He’s driving somewhere.
11. His battery is dead or his phone is lost once again.
12. He is showering or doing something in the bathroom.
13. He is masturbating.

13 Real Reasons Why A Guy Will Not, Can Not, or Does Not Text You Back

You can see there are many reasons (absurd or not) when we get a message and we can’t or won’t respond to you so never forget this IF you want the guy to like you to continue texting you … sending another message will not change that fact at all. Sending a multiple stream of texting over any period of time will not change the situation we are in. It doesn’t change what we are doing.

Sometimes it’s because we just don’t want to respond because we’re doing something we don’t want a break from it.

Sometimes it’s because we know you all too well – replying to a text message means ten more are coming OR we’re bound to discuss the same old issues again and again.

Sometimes it’s impossible to get back to you because our focus is somewhere else. We’re NOT good at switching our brains on a whim and practicing that “art” is not high on our list. We like the way we are. 😀

In other words – a man’s mind is typically a one way street. When our focus is on something specific, switching to something new (even if it’s just a text) is extremely tough. As I’m writing this article and get a text, I won’t respond because I lose focus and it takes me that much longer to figure out what I was writing about so unless you’re my wife, there’s a 1% chance, if that, you’ll hear back from me until I’m done.

Take notice to something very important I wrote in that last paragraph – my wife – because that’s very important in texting…

9 times out of 10 a guy will NOT ignore a woman’s text he is “into” unless you give him every reason to start ignoring you.

You can see I’m totally INTO my wife. She’s not texting random shit. It’s important and she’s important to me. Which is why she gets priority. BUT she’s also fully aware and understanding there are times when texting back is literally impossible. I’m not choosing to ignore her. The only reason is that I can not physically message her back as in reasons 1,2,10,12, or in the rare event #13.

Chances are IF a guy is actually ignoring your text something else is going on:

He’s not that interested or attracted to you as much as you’d like.

Yes, that sucks but think positive here. If it only takes a few texts to figure out whether a guy likes you or not, that leaves you more time, less hurt, less being bullshitted or pushed aside, and lots of new time to find a guy who IS going to text you back quicker because he actually does like you.

Here’s my quick two text message you can send any guy which will reveal how he feels about you:

SEND THIS:

I was just thinking about you. 🙂

If you get no response within five minutes…

SEND THIS:

HA! And now you have the pleasure of thinking about me. 😉

Make sure you follow the rules which are listed in the post:  Reveal How He Feels With Two Quick Text Messages

When and why you should or should NOT text him back again.

Guy Car Not Text Phone Back

I imagine most of you came to this article for this quick answer and I won’t make you wait any longer. If you’ve followed along so far (which I know you have) you’re smart enough to have already figured out it anyways, but I will elaborate more and make it as clear as possible for you.

If it’s not obvious, if you know he’s at work or possibly driving somewhere or in any circumstance where getting back to you could cause some real problems like getting fired, getting in an accident, falling off the toilet, etc… then just wait.

Give him a reasonable amount of time to get back to you and do NOT send another message.

Sending a guy way too many messages (unless you’re absolutely positively sure he could be in serious trouble which is rare) before you hear back from him will only lead to him not getting back to you or losing his interest in you altogether.

Think of a guy who is always up your ass and you want nothing to do with him. You’re nice to him and respond to his messages but he’s doesn’t seem to be getting the point. Sooner or later your niceness turns to anger and frustration. WELL, the same thing happens to a guy too and you do NOT want to be that girl. You have a chance up until you start pissing him off with the over-texting or annoying him. You’ll destroy the little interest he had in you quickly and there’s no turning back after that happens.

If he’s not getting back to you AND he’s a little interested in you something else is happening which is just yet another reason to NOT text him back until you hear from him.

One, because he knows texting you back will lead to many texts or a conversation which he doesn’t want at this point in time or can not, depending on the situation and TWO: Because you want to CREATE MORE ATTRACTION AND INTEREST and not destroy it.

By not sending many unanswered texts again and again shows him: You have a life outside of him. You’re busy too. You’re not needy or desperate for him to respond.  You’re creating good tension. He’ll understand texting back is something which is good. You’re okay with leaving him in suspense. And many other things too.

The point is USE your texting to create more interest and not destroy it.

If you want a response – give him a really good reason to get back to you and make sure the pattern you’ve set for messaging gives him a need or desire or want to get back to you as quickly as he can.

Here’s something I would seriously consider if this is a re-occurring problem for you. It’s a man I’m affiliated with, James Bauer (article here with lots of cool free stuff and advice on attracting men) and seems to fit perfectly here:

“It was with a signal that would immediately get his attention. Even something like a text message or Facebook message would work. So I gave Rachel a simple 12-word text that she could send to Mike. And though I didn’t realize it at the time, I had just created the very first “Secret Signal”.”

The 12 Word Text Men Can’t Resist – Become His Secret Obsession

These or those are normal everyday circumstance between two people who are getting to know each other or know each other and are exploring attraction and interest or are just friends who might be turning into something more.

What if you went on a date with him?

Follow the advice of this dating coach, David Wygant, because it’s tried, tested, and proven to help you:

“If after going out on a date with a guy you have texted him twice without a return text, DELETE THAT NUMBER!”

He Is Not Texting or Calling – When Is It Time To Delete His Number?

.Remember in the first paragraph how I said there are not “hard” rules of texting, well I lied, we’re going to make one for you because just by being here you might want or need one.

Meaning you came here because you feel you’re being ignored or you just want to know an exact time or rule to follow to re-text a guy AND because up until now – it hasn’t been made clear to you based on what I’ve written for you.

Here it is…. drum roll please….

Do NOT text him again twice the normal length of your average silence.

Yes. I made a hard rule of texting. Follow it if you dare.

Twice the normal length of your average silence.

If you text back and forth and don’t again for a few days, wait twice that time before you send a second text AND the second text should have little or nothing to do with your first.

This tells the guy you’re not a “stalker”. How you’re not going to get all bent out of shape when he won’t get back at a moments notice. It will also suggest a better pattern for the next time.

It gets the guy thinking, “I am free to text back without fear of having to answer forty more texts.” which will make him more likely to get back to you sooner.

My best advice is to AVOID sending several texts without a response. Be patient and real about the situation.

Now I understand this problem of “ignoring” a woman goes much deeper. There are way too many areas to discover or discuss. Today’s topic was just about texting and a little about interest and attraction.

If you feel you want to go deeper into the whole of men ignoring you, going silent, or just not communicating to you then I strongly suggest you start reading my free online Ebook at Why Do Guys…? titled: Silent Guys – Why Men Go Quiet, Won’t Share Feelings, or Ignore Women. It covers all the reasons and hopefully will enlighten you on all the details of understanding men.

Sign up below for your free copy of my 80 page book – “The Silent Man – Why men go silent, ignore you, or fail to share their feelings.”

  • The 6 main reasons men will go silent and ignore you. Once you know these you’ll never have to ask why is he not talking to you ever again.
  • 49 personal situations that reveal (from a guy’s point of view) about why he has stopped contacting you.
  • You’ll find out if it’s him or you so you can fix and best figure out what to do next. Finally get some closure to either move on or remove him from your life!
  • Start changing how you see men & how they see you by understanding how your communication differences might be stopping you from connecting with him or all men.
  • 80 pages filled with everything you’ll ever need to know about why men go silent. (Only one picture so when I say it’s full – I meant it!

Silent Man Cover

The Secret Dirty Truth About Men is a dual newsletter with one goal in mind – help you understand men so you can truly connect with them.

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20 comments… add one
  • Shoshanna

    Not long ago I saw online an advice that YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER text a guy first. What do you think about that Peter? I usually don’t and I can’t imagine texting a man again if he ignores me… unless it would be to check whether he’s not dead or something.

    • Peter White

      It’s all situational Shoshanna. Meaning a rule like that doesn’t work because it depends on the what happened up to the texting will help you and I decide when and when not to text first.

  • Daisy

    I met this guy and his hot and cold texting is driving me crazy. Basicly i was at a party he was working as a server, i noticed he kept smiling at me. We got talking, exchanged numbers and went out the following night and had a great time, he came back to my hotel room (i was just visiting town). Next day he was full of compliments how much he liked me how beautiful i am etc, how he wished i lived in his town because he was really into me, couldnt believe his luck that such a beautiful girl liked him etc. I had to head home (2hrs away) and texted him when i got back what a great time i had and he said he did too, said again he really wished i lived in his town. We talked over text for a few days, he was saying he wanted to come visit me and that he never meets girls like me, calling me babe things like that making it seem like he is really into me. Then silence. Crickets. Nothing. I texted him a couple days later and i sent him a flirty pic, he responded by sending me several pretty racy pics of his own and said he was thinking about me. The next day he texted me when he woke up asking how i was and i replied, he send me another couple texts then just vanished. Heard basicly nothing from him since (this is day 4) last night he liked some of my photos on facebook so i sent him a message about one of his photos that i thought was funny, he texted me straight back but it was really short and no kisses so i texted back again and said sort of jokey “aw no kisses?” He text me back about 10 mins later saying he was driving with a smiley face calling me babe and lots of kisses. I replied like an hour later and said thats cool ive just had a rough day. That was last night and nothing since! Its really annoying me and starting to put me off him. Im used to guys being forward with me and people tell me all the time that im attractive, i have no idea if this guy even likes me and it is frustrating me. Should i just forget him. Is he just not good at texting or is just not that into me?

    • Stilled

      Seems like his responding in not that bad of a timeframe ( within a day or two). He’s probably into you physically, as you were into him, but maybe not Interested in a relationship or in dating. Most likely wants to visit and hook up again. Besides that, don’t hold out for too much more, guys often don’t live up to women’s expectations of text back times, and incessant texting may give guys the idea that girl is needy.

  • Nicole

    What? is a man a child? Don’t do this or that for fear he can’t handle it. All this crap of not being able to say what you feel for fear he “might get annoyed”. How do you know he isn’t emotionally unavailable? Immature?
    Ladies, stoooop being inauthentic with men. Unless you are nonstop contacting him, if he can’t handle your words, jump ship. Say how you feel and always be real. The right guy won’t mind.

  • Andrea

    Hi! Thanks for this article. Really helps me and if absolutely right about ignoring. My bf ignored me for 5 days because of an argument and then I kept texting and calllinf cos I hate being ignored so what he did is he ignored me for more days! That really drive me nuts. And then one time I just stop texting him but I let him know I really love him and now he just texted me saying he just needed that time and that I kept texting crazy. But he reads my text messages. I guess we are okay now 🙂

    • Anushka Kasti

      Can you suggest me. I am having the same problem wid me… and for howmany days he ignored you?

  • Lauren

    So I met this guy two weeks ago and we’ve been speaking a lot but sometimes he doesn’t repsond but he reads them and then responds like hours later or the next day. Anyway this week he messages me all upset and says he likes me but I’m so guarded and he’s interested but feels like he needs someone to make him feel like they actually want him becuase his ex didn’t and that’s why he never ends up meeting no one. So the convo got pretty deep and I told him I was into him, just bad experiences etc. So we’re texting normally for like 2 days and we’re arranging a date he just said give him some time because everyone costs money, so then today we’ve text and I said like hope he had s good night because he was out yesterday and he’s read them all and not responded, but looked at my stories on insta and Snapchat – I don’t wanna text him again but then I know he wants to feel wanted so I’m confused, should I just back off now and wait for him to message me again. I feel like this is over now and I don’t know why!

    • Peter White

      Hello Lauren,

      First thing Lauren – two weeks is a little too early for a guy to be saying that he needs someone to make him feel like they actually want him. Mentioning how his ex treated him is also not a good sign this early on. Last bad sign, when he claimed that’s “why” he never meets anyone – because? He wants a woman to very early and very quickly prove or show or “make” him feel all wanted and loved.

      All the while you’re saying “he” is the one who isn’t getting back to you “normally” or quickly enough.

      I can understand why you’re so confused.

      Personally, it sounds like he might be one of those guys who wants to sit back and let them “woman” do all the work to save himself from hurt and/or make him feel like he’s in charge, instead of just taking the lead and dealing with the consequences no matter what happens.

      You can’t feel threatened or made to act quickly within a few weeks, and any guy whose intentions are to passively aggressive get something out of you may not be good news.

      Think about it – you were a little worried he was not into you because he wasn’t getting back to you “normally” and then suddenly he’s making you feel like you’re doing something wrong, and how you are not making him feel not liked, and how you’re guarded, and how it’s not his fault, he’s just been hurt in the past… Hopefully you can see what is happening.

      It appears he wants some woman to be totally into him, borderline obsessed, so he feels loved, and then and only then, can he decide to move forward. Which leaves you in a tough situation. Which leaves you more vulnerable than him. Which keeps you on edge while he gets to “feel” like a man instead of just acting like a real man and do the “manly” thing.

      I wouldn’t worry about this guy at all. If it’s over – which I doubt it is for him as long as he keeps you coming back and priming his Ego up, he’ll keep you waiting around for as long as he needs it.

      It’s only been two weeks which means you have little invested. Personally I’d step back and expect him to “man” up, take the lead, and start heading in the right direction. Within a reasonable amount of time of course.

      Again, it’s not over but I’d expect more of the same as long as he feels like he is maintaining his version of leading or “controlling” the situation.

      All the best to you,

      Pete

  • Courtney

    I read this article hoping to find answers for what went wrong. I’ve been talking to this guy for a couple weeks and we went on one date. He showed signs of interest such as deep stares, playful teasing and touching, opened up a lot about his family, and he gave me a longish hug afterwards, said that he had a good time(more than once) and that we needed to hangout again, and to text him once I got home, so I did. He was texting with quick replies, but when I texted him good morning a day later, he never sent anything back, its been a couple days now and honestly it hurts, makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. I just don’t understand, everything was fine before. He would call me and text me frequently everyday. The date lasted about 9 hours. I thought that the date would’ve ended sooner if he wasn’t having a good time.

  • Catherine

    There is this guy who was playing in a live band I saw in the weekend at a bar. My friends cousin in law plays in the band so they know them. The guitarist was cute so I happened that to mention to my friends cousin. She told him later I was interested so she told me he said to add him on Facebook. I waited until the next evening then sent him a message saying “hey you guys put on a great show” (not exactly quoting but this is the gist) He replied saying thanks, glad you enjoyed! (This seemed like a dead end answer for me. I answered saying I’ll have to come out to watch you guys again one day, no answer in a few days. He seems uninterested but it’s comfusing cause why would he say to add him knowing why I wanted to talk to him? She told him I was interested…

  • Anushka Kasti

    My boyfriend just start to ignore me after having an argument.. before argument he always used to text me first. But after an argument he just start to ignore me. Its really feel bad. And I want him to treat me and talk me like before.. what should I do now?

  • Maria

    Dear Peter,

    I met a guy and our conversation went very well. He showed big interest and asked me for a date (which should take place in a week). We were texting few times and I kept answering him with big messages just simply talking too much. He suddenly ignores me and doesn’t reply anymore for already 3 days, though I asked him some questions. I am pretty sure he didn’t like the amount of text I sent him and is turned off by me. What is the best way to approach him: “Have you decided for a location for our date?” or “I talked too much last time. Are you still in for the date or did I put you off?” ? Is the honest way better or should I pretend that we are of course still up for the date and I didn’t even “realize” that he ignored me?

    Thank you for your help!

    Maria

  • Heather

    I been chatting to this guy everyday and he responds immediately. I sent a video to a guy I liked and he responded affectionately, so then I confessed to him I wish he was next to me and I want to kiss you etc. Then he read my message and ignored it, has he lost interest in me? Did I do something wrong?

    • Peter White

      Unfortunately Heather it’s hard for me to tell if you did something wrong based on the information I have about your situation. However I will guess for you. One of two things happened. 1. He’s not interested in those things with you. OR 2. He didn’t know what to say back, thought about it for a while, and in his confusion stayed silent. Some guys are not good at responding to those type of messages OR some guys want to be the ones who start that type of messaging.

      Take a look at the nature of your relationship, how much you’ve flirted, the type of conversations you have, where you met, and the type of guy he is and you might find your answer there. If not, write back and I’ll try and get back to you with more info in a short time.

      Thanks for writing in and the best of luck to you,
      Pete

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