His Silence Is Driving You Crazy…So Why Would A Guy Ignore You?


Aside from everything listed here – some guys are not ignoring to play hard to get. Some men actually have trouble paying the right attention to you.

Don’t you hate it when the passive aggressive man gets under your skin?

How about when you really do like him but for some reason his silence drives you crazy?

It may be even be the one thing you don’t like about him.

Whether his mysterious silence tugs on your natural curiosity or pisses you off because it all seems so pointless, you can not help to wonder…

WHY – Why would a guy ignore you?

We all can agree male – female interaction is almost always often situation based.

Meaning your husband ignoring or withdrawing,  you might be different than some guy at work you’re friends with. Or your new boyfriend goes silent at certain times and other times he talks your ear off.

Or when you’re out trying your best to meet a single guy – the ones who catch your eye seem to ignore you.

And let’s not forget about the guy who’s into you one minutes then ignores you completely to flirt with your friends or when he’s with his buddies it’s like you don’t even exist.

Men don’t go silent unless there’s a reason. But and this is a big but – never forget some men go silent or only appear to ignore because they literally have nothing to say AND they’re comfortable in the silence.

If you’re in a troubled relationship he might ignore you because he knows it pisses you off. Or he’s had a bad day and doesn’t want to talk about it.

Either way the wrong kind of pressure or the wrong type of communication in this circumstance will only make the problem worse.

Sometime guys get bad advice.

They believe you rope a woman in, ignore her, and she’ll want you more. So in this case it means he likes you but really doesn’t understand how things are supposed to work.

But keep in mind that does work for lots of men – at least in getting your attention or curiosity. So to some guys if it’s worked before they’ll continue the same tactics on every woman until they find one it works on.

It could be he’s not interested and believes the best way to make you go away is to ignore you. He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or he’s not good with confrontation.

This usually happens when a woman gets too aggressive, needy, or pushes a guy into a corner. He’ll avoid that corner to avoid having to “small talk” his way out of the situation. He’ll be pleasant and nice but you’ll find he’ll ignore you every chance he gets.

To him it’s just easier that way.

Now some of you will NOT like a guy but he’ll get the wrong picture. He may not understand that’s who you are. You talk to everybody and in your mind it means nothing more than a conversation.

Another reason a particular man may ignore you is because he’s not very good with women.

I know – not good with women???!! It’s true and unfortunately it happens all too often.

You see he gets nervous around you. He’s very shy and perhaps even borderline introverted. He could be so insecure just the thought of talking to you causes a severe case of lock-jaw.

He might even fear that if he opens his mouth he could literally scare you away.

One more reason comes to mind and this is where your friend, boyfriend, or some guy you’re dating always seems to ignore you ONLY when he’s with other people.

They could be his family – “He’s probably worried you won’t approve of them.” And in some rare cases he’s worried they won’t approve of you.

They could be his friends – “He hates acting like a boyfriend in front of them. It makes him feel less manly.” We can call him Mister DPD – or Mister Dual Personality Dude. 🙂

One last case is he’s a really nice guy and feels sort of embarrassed or refuses to chase, hit on, or flirt with a woman. We can call him “Mister NDD or  – Nice and Differently Disabled.

Shhh…that was me and I’ll explain next.

Now some of you might be asking why a guy like me would ignore you?

(Assuming you DO know I teach guys how to attract women…and not how to ignore you to play hard to get.)

First I must explain it was mostly because I saw how many “other” guys were up your ass all the time trying to “get in your pants” and the I refused to be anything like them.

So why they are “playing tag” with you I was dreaming you would eventually come to me.

You got to love the past.  Actually I will still do that but my reasons are completely different. Ask below and I’ll try to explain

Unfortunately this dreaming only left me, or stuck me with having a friendly conversation when no one was around. This is a typical nice guy way of dealing with the “I don’t want to be like those jerks” dilemma. Mister NDD.

Me now – if I ignore you it’s because:

  • I don’t enjoy talking to you – friendly or not. (Very rare.)
  • You’re all over me and I’m not interested. (Very common.)

The number one reason, believe it or not – It’s all in your head.

I’m not ignoring you. I’m just living my life. Sometimes our paths will cross. Sometimes they won’t.

Unless you really catch my eye or you’re a blast to be around I won’t make of an effort to spark up a conversation.

Of course that does not include waitresses, cashiers, or any friendly public “service” worker who does her job quite well. If I ignore you then it’s probably because I’m “out of it” totally, engrossed in a conversation with someone else, or you’re doing a terrible job.

You have to understand men who are or appear to be naturally successful attracting women usually don’t make women a priority.

It may appear you’re being ignored when in reality you’re over-thinking the situation.

I see it happen to lots of guys and with women it’s no different. They somehow believe she is doing something, anything, pondering or even fantasizing about him because they either caught each other’s eyes or talked once. (I promise to talk more about that later because it really is a huge deal.)

For this post never assume he is doing something to you and you’ll increase your chance at meeting some incredible guys.

Because now you know – if he’s ignoring for his benefit or yours…

Then in a small but effective way to him – his life revolves around the female form, shape or existence and sometimes that’s going to be you.

Take a quick second the next time a guy ignores you and consider what I’ve told you. I believe you’ll be pleasantly surprised and depending on the situation you’ll know the real reason why a guy ignores you.

But hey – Don’t forget to tell me about it.  I’d enjoy that. So no ignoring me on this post or I’ll be really upset. Grrrr!! 😀

Are you looking for more reasons why guys do, say, or act the way they do?

Please check out my absolutely free “Why Do Guys…?” for more great info on men. All me 🙂

All original. Get the inside scoop on men straight from a man.

Here’s a little something related to this question:

Man Ignoring Woman She Unhappy

You’ll never believe all the reasons why a guy will ignore a woman. Some of them are absolutely absurd.

Thanks for stopping by – Peter White Why Do Guys…?

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277 comments… add one
  • Sarah

    Hi Pete , I forgot to mention other details about him. If I don’t give him no attention back I don’t look at him or anything he does the same thing to me the next day If I ignore him he will do the same thing to me. I have noticed that in him that he does that with me There are some days that he ignores me and won’t look at me or talk to me and then some days he will talk to me or look at me I don’t know if he’s doing that on purpose so he won’t let no one else know that he’s into me and I know for sure that he’s doing that because I do that to him but why does he act like that with me why is he getting me back For example like today I went to work out he did not look at me he didn’t even talk to me all he did was trying to get my attention by walking back-and-forth or standing a little bit behind me and then he just rubs my back in circle motions with his hand. and stand near me showing the class wat to do next but tries not to look at me Why is acting this way. He treats me different than all the rest of the others. He acts like this with me only. Few days ago I was getting a drink from the fountain and I turned around and he was just standing there looking at me then I turned around back fixing my hair then I turned around again he was still standing there looking at me I thought he left after I turned around to do my hair but he was still standing and looking at me. Every day he acts different with me. I am so confused with this guy one day is nice and the next day he’s mean to me. Few days ago At training I forgot what he told me to do so I asked him It’s the way he walked towards me and the way his voice changed with the smile. I can tell that he likes to touch me but why is he acting like this towards me. Why is he giving me the cold shoulder and ignoring me and not talking to me and trying not to look at me and then some days he’s nice to me and tries to get my attention at the same time. I don’t get it Is he trying to figure me out to see if I like him back that’s why he’s keeping his distance from me I don’t know anymore In the beginning he would ask me questions what I am doing for the weekend and stuff like that but now he doesn’t I don’t know if he’s trying to play hard to get or doesn’t want to show it or he’s that into me please help

  • Nicole

    Hi I met this guy on pof and I have been talking to him for about 3 weeks non stop and then we hang out on a family camping trip and I may have not gave him all the attention that he deserved but he said he wanted to stay friends and get to know each better. So I thought that I didn’t have to give him all my attention and then after the camping trip he text me one time and hasn’t text me since did I do something wrong?

    • Peter White

      Nothing’s necessarily wrong Nicole and I can not tell if you did something specifically that was wrong. However it sounds like this:

      When a guy who is into you this much (especially from an online dating site) then he mentions friends and getting to know each other, and after his contacting you dries up or disappears, it simply means he’s not that interested in you enough to pursue something more.

      It happens. I highly doubt it was about how much attention you “didn’t” give him during that trip. It was the trip and first time meeting where he decided that he wasn’t feeling it that much for you.

      It’s unfortunate that he didn’t just come out and say it but not all men will say anything. They will give you an excuse or a reason to pull back, and then slowly or quickly disappear.

      Best of luck to you and I do hope the next man in your life works our much better.


  • Anjie

    Hi, a few yrs ago I dated this guy. I broke it off with him because I was going thru a rough time with my brother and daughter in hospital at same time. And I couldnt get him to talk to me. I dont do well being ignored and this he knows. A few momths ago we started talking again, everything was going fine, then out of the blue he stopped talking again. A couple weeks ago we started talking…AGAIN..he tells me he really likes me, we should get married, he misses me and thinks of me alot. He told me a couple days ago that he was going thru stuff and it wasnt a good time for him. And again he stops talking to me. He reads my messages on facebook but doesnt respond. Am I being rediculous? Should I just leave him well enough alone? Im at a loss here, because his words and actions are completly different. Maybe Im expecting too much.

    • Ann Mills

      I’m going through the same thing, I see him on Facebook, but he doesn’t respond to my text for entire day. Then a few days later says he misses me. It’s really hurtful, and feels horrible, like there must be something we can do. Also, you’d figure a normal functioning adult would know how it would cause someone to feel by doing these actions, so it’s hard to imagine a guy is that emotionally immature to not realize that ignoring someone isn’t hurtful! Also, what’s really messed up, that Pete said in another article, is there are tons of article out there telling men to ignore women, and it will make then commit to you!!! No joke, Google- does ignoring a girl make her like me- and you will see so many results saying it works. I’m like- good luck with that men, because no lady I know is gonna put up with that treatment!

  • Brianna

    I met this guy at work somewhat recently and there was a mutual attraction. We flirt a lot, at work and via text although we don’t hang out outside of work hardly at all. He told me he was bad at relationships; I took that as he didn’t want a relationship, so that was all well and good, I could get over him with the knowledge that any pursuit would lead to nothing. But then he started going on about how he would let me kiss him, and how just because he said he wasn’t good at relationships didn’t mean nothing could happen. So I suggest something casual (a first for me, as I’m very inexperienced and have only every been in exclusive relationships in the past). He seemed very open to the idea when I mentioned it, but I haven’t heard from him since (3 days ago, and he completely blew me off at work when I tried to talk to him, with the same look a toddler has when they drew on the wall and their mom found out and is about to tear them a new one). I messaged him asking if I did something to warrent being ignored; he read it but didn’t reply. So, I’m definitely being ignored… Knowing me, I scared him off by trying to explain what I meant by casual (he asked, and I said basically a friendship with the benefit of physical intimacy. I had been thinking over it for several days and looked up some advice for a casual relationship and tried to follow that, but…). I feel like it was likely just a miscommunication on what we want; I’m down for something casual, I don’t expect anything more from him, but he might be percieving it as me wanting more than that. I’m conflicted as to what to do. I want to clear the air with him and, at the very least, get back on friendly terms with him (it’s miserable at work with him ignoring me, he is literally the only thing that makes work fun), but I’m afraid that trying to push him to talk will only make him distance himself further. And I don’t want things to be awkward at work between us because of all this, but I’m almost certain that he called in because he didn’t want to see me (which is bad in so many ways, but mostly I’m worried about him missing work because of something so trivial and stupid). I would love some advice and insight on how to proceed… Should I just tell him to forget what I said about the casual relationship, and let’s just try to go back to coworkers on friendly terms, no other expectations? That seems like the best option from my point of view, but with him unwilling to communicate, I’m missing an entire side of this story 🙁

    • L

      He sounds a little immature. I would normally forget someone who isn’t honest and starts avoiding, though I am 32 years old and at our age this normally can be solved easily by a “hey did I scare you off there? No! Okay cool I thought you might have died, hadn’t heard from you” and some laughing.

      What ended up happening with him?

  • Ann Mills

    I’m in a Long Distance Relationship. I’m DC and he’s California. I’ve been flying out to see him once a month since last May, so it’s been like 5 dates. Just 2 weeks ago we had “the talk” about how we didn’t want to date other people, he said he wasn’t dating anyone and I wasn’t either, so I was happy that we got over that hump. But what’s been happening for 5 months, that I thought would change, is that on weekends, he totally ignores me and only sends me like a total of 5 texts until he goes back to work on Tuesday, where he texts me like every hour. I’ve also noticed that all of our dates are Monday – Friday, because he “can’t get away” on the weekends… I texted him yesterday, Saturday, thinking it would be different since “the talk” but its been 14 hours now and no reply, but I see that he’s been active on Facebook… during the week, I am happy, and feel so lucky to have his attention, but on weekends, I always feel like a fool that I sent him a text on a Saturday, and then on Sunday night, it still hasn’t been replied to. What is going on? I can’t keep up this hot then cold type of relationship. It feels horrible!

  • Chris

    I met a guy on tinder about 3 months ago. He’s in the military. WhIle we spoke he was stationed out of state. We talked everyday while he was gone. He finally came home a month after talking on the phone and we met. We hit it off right away. We’ve hung out almost every single day for the past 3 months and talk every single day. Everytime we hang out its always a good time. He’s probably the nicest guy ive ever dated and the most respectful. He’s always trying to put a smile on my face and I had no complaints about him. We’ve also been intimate. He’s gotten comfortable around me and I’ve gotten to that point as well. He was going away for 2 days to fulfill military duties and he had advised me that he would have his phone off for those 2 days and would contact me once he got back home. That was 2 days ago that he was suppose to be back. So it’s been 4 days since I’ve spoken to him. I tried to wait until he contacted me but he never did so I finally gave in and called him but his phone rang once and went straight to voicemail. I wasn’t sure if he ignored my phone call or if he didn’t have service so I waited it out. I called again about 5 hours later and the phone rang once and sounded like he picked it up and hung up. I called back and left him a voicemail telling him to call me back since I haven’t had contact with him for the past 4 days. I’m not sure why he would just ignore me out of nowhere. We went from talking everyday for 3 months straight then all of a sudden not talking at all. I’m not sure what the reason would be. The last time we spoke we left on good terms. He was telling me to have a good weekend and to take care and that he can’t wait to see me when he gets back so I find the ignoring very odd. Not sure what to think right now… need help

  • mastaneh

    Hi ..well , he is my classmate i fell for him from the beginning of university but he never cared finally after 2 years i sent him a message and let him know about my feelings he said nothing and he just said that he can’t and never answered my messeges again .. After few months i sent him messege again we talked a bit more this time but he just never talked to me about himself again after few days he didn’t answer me ….again …after 5 months i sent him messege this time he was a bit friendly but after 2 weeks chat of course not a lot we talked only 30 mins a day again he didn’t answer me and left me …I’m going to loose my mind cause i really love him i can’t forget about him and i don’t know what’s his problem …!!!

  • mastaneh

    By the way thank you in advance for taking time ..

  • Fiona

    ‘You got to love the past. Actually I will still do that but my reasons are completely different. Ask below and I’ll try to explain’


    • Peter White

      Hello Fiona and thanks for asking,

      As I said, I used to hold back because I didn’t want to be perceived as ALL the other guys, among other less confident reasons.

      Now, if and when it happens, it’s because my life no longer revolves around the “hottest” woman around. I’m not off in the corner dreaming or hoping she’s going to see me differently or want me for those reasons.

      I do things on my own time and decide to start a conversation when I feel like it. Whether others are around or not make no difference at all.

      I come from experience, confidence, and the understanding of how to have a simple fun conversation which can easily create spark and attraction.

      I don’t like to linger or waste time.

      So in reality I’m not ignoring you at all. I’m just living my life which is not wrapped up in what a woman is doing, who she is talking to, who is trying to get with her, or how she is living her own life.

      My approach is merely a matter of perspective from my end. In other words, rather than change my tactics entirely (which I do now during the actual conversation) I’ve changed where I come from and a little of who I am.

      So now, aside from the confidence and all that good stuff – I’m not ignoring anyone purposely or out of fear or for reasons of avoidance – I’m merely just not allowing myself to linger, pine, hope, or dream of something that may or may not happen.

      Thanks Fiona and hope that explains it a little better,

  • rachel

    I just started dating this guy I’ve known for a couple years. Some days he is so cute and texts me and is all about me, other days I barely hear from him. We have had two previous dates and he said he was on his way and never came. He just told me his dad has cancer and he has been busy with work and his sons which i understand 100% but why not text me or call and tell me? We have that spark physically too. We can make out like high schoolers and everything else is just amazing when we are together. i have had bad experience in the past and have been lied to and cheated on and he knows this. He says sorry and will try harder but my mind just goes to that place of him being shady. Am i just tripping?

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