You meet a woman who works in a public place which can be anything from mall Kiosk to a waitress. Yes, even a parking lot attendant although that last one is probably never going to happen.
You felt a connection but you do nothing to advance the situation because you wanted to be different.
You don’t want to seem pushy or come off as a player. I mean she’s attractive and knowing what she does, probably gets hit on a lot.
So what do you do?
Well if you’re like I was you go back there thinking, “This time I’m going to walk away with at least her number… maybe even a date!”
You psych yourself up for that moment. She was all you could think about for the days or weeks between.
“WHEN do you ask for it? HOW do you ask for it? How should you work it into the conversation? Should it be obvious you’ll be calling for a date?” ~ The Next Step of Meeting People Is the Hardest Part – Getting A Number
You attempt to create an easy rapport the second time thinking she’s going to remember you but she only has a vague image of who you are IF she even remembers you at all. I mean you made a great first impression but who is to say if she has even thought twice about you.
Then it happens.
It’s almost like you picked up right where you left off. She’s acting like she knows you.
You try to tell yourself what you’re doing is working because it feels like a connection and since she’s all for it, you’re thinking it’s all good with a few very important exceptions…
Last time you had a few minutes to talk and it was easy.
Now you’ve added extra pressure to the situation. You have an agenda or a goal, (getting her number or any way to contact her) , and it feels like you have a limited window of opportunity to make your move.
Add to that you’re thinking,
“Shit! She’s going to know I was too scared to ask last time. She’s going to feel like I’m stalking her because I came by again making it seem like I came by, just for her! I must be smooth and not lead on that I’ve been thinking about her (some strange hot girl) all this time as if I don’t have a life.”
The last exception hits you hard because before you even get the next few words out, some ass comes along and ruins it.
Yes, the unfortunate and unlucky timing of another person stepping on your approach almost as if it was meant to NOT happen anyways.
When all that really happened in her mind was probably…
“Two more hours and I’m done with work today. Do I recognize this guy. Hmmmm? Not sure. He’s cute I guess. Ooops I should probably take his money. Can’t wait to get out of here today!!! Here’s someone else…. Hello. How are you doing? What can I do for you today?”
Do you see what happened?
When you’re in line there’s a guarantee someone else will be behind you. Possibly even a few people. If it’s not in the second, very quickly someone will come along because it’s part of her job to help people.
Last time you had almost a three-minute opportunity to grab her number and walk away “temporarily” successful but this time you had less than 30 seconds and it’s gone.
You can not possibly come by again. She will surely suspect you of stalking her IF she remembers you. You can’t keep coming up with lame excuses or she’s going to know something’s up.
“…you see this woman, and you want all this, but you literally feel like there’s a WALL between you and her.” ~ 4 Insights Into Approaching Women
Maybe, just maybe, you could make it part of your routine, like if she ‘s working in a coffee shop or something, but as each visit happens, moving forward with her gets harder and harder.
Slowly you back off and just forget about it.
You make it known to yourself that this kind of “pick up” is just not for you and as each moment passes in everything you do, the pressure is off and you secretly vow or excuse the failures because…
Picking up a woman in less than a few minutes is not who you are.
There’s nothing you can do about it anyways, right?
It all seems harmless but think about it:
If you’re single and not having much luck getting dates or meeting women…
How many possible single available and wanting women do you walk by or talk to everyday where you excuse not doing something about it, because:
- You believe it’s just not who you are.
- You feel like a player or that “pick up guy” if you ask for her number.
- The timing is never right.
- Even if you meet one who is attractive and it’s almost like you have even less time.
- The people around you are watching you.
- You’re too self-conscious, too aware of “other”people, and you over think yourself out of doing something more.
- You believe while you’re thinking about her, she couldn’t possibly ever remember who you are.
- And the list can go on… etc… etc… etc…
Maybe all we need is a plan.
A canned routine which can quickly (and naturally) lead to,
“Wow you seem really cool, would you like to be my fifth follower on twitter?”
And of course…
The confidence or balls or (call it whatever you like) to forget about delaying the people around you for just one more minute.
The courage to face a public failure or defeat and still away like it didn’t matter when inside it hurting like someone ripped out your chest.
Maybe a plan or a canned routine is not a bad idea at all?
What do you think about the many women you meet everyday who are bound to their job to do something for you and since you need what she’s offering, gives you a small chance to walk away with something more than what brought you there in the first place?
- Is there a way around this single guy problem?
- Should we just not bother meeting women this way and leave it to “hopefully” running into a friend of a friend someplace else?
- Is there a guaranteed routine which works at least when she’s up for it or single or willing to exchange information with an almost complete stranger?
- Does it get easier each time we try and will we eventually succeed giving us a small boost the next time?
- Will you or I really meet your “dream woman” this way?
Let’s be completely honest with ourselves…