Guys like, more like LOVE when a woman NOTICES them! They enjoy feeling special through your eyes. You can use that fact to your advantage and approach any guy at work with much more success than just “hoping” something might happen between the two of you.
That way you’re also less likely to think yourself out of doing it.
All you have to do is follow the steps listed below.
Workplaces are a little different so we’ll get into some those and the exact steps you can use to approach any man you’re more than interested in.
First… as a woman, you’re (supposed) to be the better-looking half, right?
Your style, your clothes, your hair, your face, you have an endless ability to get noticed.
With us guys – it’s not that easy but we won’t get into why. Just agree with me and it will keep things a lot easier on both of us, okay?
Approaching a guy at work is very simple when you know what steps to take AND when you understand how to open a guy up which makes it fall-over easy for him to talk with you.
First – This is what the approach is about and later we’ll get into more of the details:
- First eye contact.
- Noticing something about him others don’t or won’t say.
- Knowing what questions to ask him and a little on how to respond to his answers which reveal not just information but if he’s into you or not.
- Using the same push-pull method so many men have perfected on women.
- Most importantly –> Being a positive person to be around.
#1. It ALWAYS starts with eye contact.
Hold it for a few seconds then slowly turn your eyes someplace else. You might want to avoid looking down after. This puts pressure on him to approach you and tends to confuse men more often than not.
Wait a little while and then make a second eye contact just to see if he notices you.
If he holds his contact – he WANTS you to approach him. That’s his way of sticking out his chest or appearing confident. It’s his way of letting you know it’s okay to start a conversation with him.
#2. You’ll want to get close enough and mention something you noticed on him.
Do it very casually and keep moving. Do NOT linger around and do NOT expect a response.
Just say it because you’re a positive person who likes people to feel good around you AND it’s something which caught your eye.
Wait a while before you repeat the process EXCEPT with one catch – Skip the eye contact the second time.
Once you’ve made the first approach – you NEVER have to do it again.
#3. The next step is about knowing what questions to ask.
Here’s a little tip if you struggle with this.
Men, believe it or not can get a little nervous around women they find attractive. They sometimes go blank. This means some of them won’t have a clue of what to say and with other men what you’re getting the second time around – is not necessarily the real man.
What you’re getting is normally a filtered responses based on who he is and how you make him feel.
This second interaction is all about making him feel at ease. If you have to, do more talking than him and don’t expect him to open immediately.
Give him time. Just be patient.
Men expect the women to talk more and although it may seem like he’s not paying much attention – it’s really because he ‘s probably trying not to screw it up with you or he’s engrossed in his mind thinking about what he’s going to say back to you.
Before we move on: Here are some important areas about work environments you need to keep in mind before you start.
Work situations are different from other approaches. There can be a lot of undue drama along the way. There’d a lot more going on socially which could affect your paycheck so you must be willing to risk a little more than you would normally risk talking to some guy elsewhere AND you must be prepared to face a completely different workplace after the social dynamics change.
Remember this also goes for him. Just having a conversation is one thing but taking it outside of work is something much different. There is always more risk involved.
Be a little daring in your approach and take full notice to his response.
- Does he play into it?
- Does he back away?
- Does he look worried?
- Does he stammer or non-confidently go about his interaction with you?
This will clue you in on what kind or type of man you’re dealing with and how much of a risk taker he really is. Your personal situation or what you do for a living will give you a good starting place.
Here are some examples:
Offices can be private but others will see you’re talking. They may even hear what you’re talking about. Keep your voice a little quiet because you don’t want him to feel all his answers will be heard by everyone.
Men are less likely to be themselves if there’s pressure to perform especially around a woman they’re feeling attracted to who just happened to approach him.
Retail environments are more open. You can be places no one see or hears anything. You generally work closely and you can get away with a lot more.
You CAN talk more openly but be wary of the customers. They can either help or hurt your chances.
I say use them to your advantage. Help his customers too. Get involved in the process. You have the opportunity for a dynamic conversation with a third person involved (making it less stressful) AND the third “wheel” will disappear all by themselves which is perfect for you and him to progress more.
Manual factories or hard labor areas are more difficult for the approach so you should wait for a lunch break but you can still make the necessary eye contact first.
Keep in mind though lunches may be very public – so if you approach him saying, “I’m going to eat lunch with you today” remember people will realize what’s going on but you have to shut others out of the process.
On the side of “others” noticing – guys tend to gain a little more confidence when other people notice a girl is “sort of” hitting on them. It’s an Ego boost.
My advice is always this: Don’t ask. Tell him nicely and THEN ASK. It goes like this.
“I’m going to eat with you today. How would you like some company?”
This says to a guy “I like what I see. I noticed you before. But hey I still have manners. I like to be a little feminine. You’re the man. Haha! How would you like to share your lunch time with me.”
Lastly – let’s talk very quickly on the push-pull thing I mentioned. It’s what (we) teach guys to amplify your attraction to us.
It also works extremely well, probably better, on men because their focus tends to be more narrowed.
Meaning – once you get stuck in his head it becomes very difficult for him to think about anything else. Which I’m sure you’ve noticed can be a bad thing or a good thing.
For attraction purposes I can not get into all the detail just yet.
#4. This about using the “push-pull “method to send flirty fun but mixed signals AND it’s about short interactions over a longer period.
For example – say this,
“I really love your tie” (coy cute smile) “You wouldn’t happen to know my old high-school math teacher… would you?”
It’s a light jab at something which may not be overly important to him.
First, you’re noticing it then you’re seeing how playful and secure he is about the way he dresses. You’re pulling him in for the compliment and then pushing him away to play.
Wait for his response. Try to avoid lingering around. Walk away and come back to “play” later. Except next time don’t do it again … Do something different.
Say, “Hey… truth or dare?” Wait for his answer and then say, “Hmmm…. interesting.”
Walk away again.
No matter how you do it, the idea or concept is simple.
Many short fun flirty interactions have more impact than long deep talks to guys initially.
For many of them – they prefer complete privacy or an intimate location to open up.
They also want to be noticed. They want to be approached by the girl who makes eye contact.
They want to be left wondering just a little and they need to be “at ease” around you – to fully function that is devoid of fear.
They also have a desire to chase just a little so if you stick around too long, you’re not leaving him much opportunity to do the chasing thing.
You do all that and keep all the details I’ve mentioned close to your heart and approaching any guy at work (or anywhere in fact) will become totally natural.You’ll challenge ANY guy which is a good thing for attraction.
Remember to stay positive… always.
Have confidence in what I’ve shown you and you’ll notice how everything I’ve gone over today can give you amazing results with the right guy.
I’ve pulled together a few guest posts from some amazing and smart women which can help you better interact with men to form the always important interest.
This part, approaching a guy at work is more about getting and keeping his interest because if you work with him, he will already either be physically attracted to you or not. Focus on what matters – getting his real attention and gaining his interest beyond the physical stuff.
Here are the articles you should read next:
- Make A Good First Impression With Men – Eye Contact, Smile and More
- How To Be The Girl That Guys Want To Date
- Communication and Conversation Tips – How to Talk To Men
- Flirting With Men – How To Do It With Compliments and Fun
This concludes today’s episode of the secret dirty truth about men. Hope you learned something about men you didn’t know or you got exactly what you expected and may be more.
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This is what was revealed about men today, the why will have to come later or in the newsletter:
- They like or love to be noticed by a woman they’re attracted to.
- They want to feel special in your eyes.
- When a guy makes eye contact and holds it – it’s his way of sticking out his chest or trying to look confident for you.
- Some guys get nervous around women they find attractive so expect it to happen.
- They expect the women to talk more.
- They rarely will open up in a conversation if what is being said is heard. They prefer or need private one on one interactions to feel comfortable and safer to flirt.
- They won’t all date a co-worker or a boss. Too much risk.
- They love to be challenged by a woman.
- They enjoy it when a woman flirts with them the right way IF they’re physically attracted to her.
- They are susceptible to the push-pull method and get more interested in a woman at first who uses short fun interactions.
- Once you’re in their head, it takes a lot to get you out of it.
- Attraction is already there if it exists. Interest is not.
- Get his attention, build his interest, and he’ll more than likely agree to a date or ask you out himself.
Need I say more… Have fun and thanks for stopping by.
Your guy friend, Pete