How to Approach Women In Bookstores and Gyms

These are strategies in getting to meet women in different circumstances. The approaches will break down each situation into the essential ingredients.

This isn’t your usual “be confident and just ask her” advice.

I’m going to give you specific goals, opportunities, dangers, approaches, and analytical details of each situation. Consider this an intensive class in meeting women and getting to the first – and most critical – step in the dating game.

Let’s continue…

Approaching Women At The Bookstore

You’re browsing books at a bookstore, and you see a cute redhead picking through the latest non-fiction.

Your goal is go From a phone number to an add-on date (where you get her to leave with you for somewhere else more romantic). Seduction is possible, but unlikely due to the randomness.

Women shopping for books are usually alone, which makes it much easier for you to start up a conversation. And with every book being a possible topic for discussion, you have more than enough opportunity.

Be Warned…

A bookstore is often very isolating.

Women go there to pick up a good book, but they’re definitely internally focused when they’re shopping.

You have to avoid coming on too strong in your approach.

The Approach:

First of all, hang out in the sections that women will be looking in. If it’s a large enough bookstore, you could find yourself waiting around in the “Military Aircraft” manuals for quite some time.

Instead, go wander over into the self-help section (a great place to find women) or move around and browse the fiction shelves for a while.

When you spot her, walk over and make it a point to pull out a book that requires her to move for you to reach. This gets you into her awareness, and serves as a kind of mini-introduction. Step away and thumb through the book.

Then, notice whatever it is she’s reading. (Don’t worry if you can’t see the title; she doesn’t know that. You can always claim you misread the title later.)

“Hey, I heard that was pretty good. What do you think?”

She’ll probably say something to the effect of “It’s good,” “It’s bad,” or “I don’t know.”

If it’s good, you say,

“So are you going to buy it or read it here and save the fifteen bucks?” (with a smile)

If it’s not good, you say,

“So how do you know if you haven’t read it yet?” (with a smile)

If she doesn’t know, you say,

“Well, you’ve been checking it out for a while. What are you trying to do, save the fifteen bucks by reading it in the store?” (with a smile)

From here you connect to the next question based on what she says, bridging from topic to topic.

You want to build this approach into the opportunity to get her out of the bookstore and into a more intimate environment.

A lot of bookstores have coffee shops and delis in them now, so you can move to more conversation over food (always a good idea, since it mixes the pleasures and enhances your overall positive effect on her.)

Approaching Women At the Gym or Exercise Club

Hot Women Gym Exercise

You’re at the gym, and you look over to see a vision of beauty mounting an exercise bike. After you splash your face with your water bottle, you decide to find out if she’s willing to burn more than calories.

Your goal is to get a phone number, as well as a follow-up coffee date.

This is a location where you are bound to run into many women you’re interested in.

The women who go to the gym are usually at least interested in fitness if they go regularly, and you can bet that the hottest women definitely go to the gym.

You also have a high repeat ratio, meaning that you will see some women there again and again, allowing you a little less urgency in approaching them.

Be warned….

That high repeat ratio also works the other way, too. So if things don’t work out and you don’t intend to keep up at least a pretense of friendship later, you should probably think about another target.

Any place that you repeatedly visit is going to have a high likelihood of you running into people you know.

Also, be aware that women are there only to get a workout in and get out quickly, so you have to avoid slowing her down. Keep in mind that she may also have a vanity complex about being seen when she’s sweating, or looking less than ladylike.

If she seems stand-offish in the gym, catch her out in the parking lot later.

Here’s your approach:

Find a reason to get on a machine next to her, and you can always start up a conversation along the way.

You can also intercept her at a weight machine in a circuit training group. If you can, try to get ahead of her on a machine so that she’s waiting for you.

“I’ll just be a minute. I’m trying to figure out if I can be really manly and use all the weight on this thing, or if I’ll just have a heart attack now and get it over with.”

“I know what you’re thinking: wow, he sweats a lot. But don’t let it fool you. I’m just practicing for a deodorant commercial I’m starring in.”

If you happen to be on an elliptical trainer or a treadmill next to her, you can always strike up a short conversation. Just keep it short, because no one likes to talk much when they’re out of breath.

“You ever wonder why it is that, on a perfectly sunny day like today, we’re all inside running on machines instead of going outside?”

Gyms are a great place to meet eligible single women.

You should definitely keep this option open. You should also seek to find Yoga classes in your area as well.

Yoga tends to have a much higher woman-to-man ratio than a lot of other activities, and you can always find opportunity in a class where you can take a few weeks to familiarize yourself with the women there.

I’ve covered a great deal of material for you to practice and use. The critical part of this exercise, however, is that you MUST practice and use it.

These skills do no one any good if you just read them, and the next time you meet a girl you walk up and blank out.

Sit down and memorize the words you’ll need, so that when the time comes, you won’t have to worry about stage fright or any other fears blocking your real goal: getting her phone number.

Everything starts there.

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5 Mistakes Most Guys Make When They Learn To Approach Women & Pickup Women

APPROACH MISTAKE #1: Trying to be “friends first” with women.

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APPROACH MISTAKE #3: Not having some techniques and tools – a utility belt – to help you.

APPROACH MISTAKE #4: Not qualifying the woman.

APPROACH MISTAKE #5: Not having an exit strategy.

BONUS APPROACH MISTAKE : Asking a woman out too soon.

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4 comments… add one
  • Ellie

    I have a question related to approaching women in a bookstore. I’ve been admiring a guy who works in a bookstore for a few months (I only go there every month or so because I don’t want to look like a stalker)! I’m almost sure he likes me too as I catch him staring at me and stealing sideways glances when he’s dealing with customers. I’ve bought a few books off him and I always plan on asking him questions about whatever it is I’m purchasing, but as soon as I’m near him I freeze and my mind goes blank, then I try to make some small talk about something ridiculous, to which he responds with something equally pathetic! I’ve noticed he gets quite nervous and fidgety too and blabs on and on about stamping my loyalty card. I find it quite amusing and endearing to be honest, but also a bit frustrating because I don’t see him very often and I’d really like an opportunity to get to know him. Also, I know he likes me because I’ve seen him talk passionately about books with other customers so I know he’s not shy or nervous by nature. So I wonder what your advice might be to a man approaching a woman in a bookstore if he actually works there. Do you think it’s inappropriate? If so, what do I do, or is it a lost cause? Thanks

    • Hello Ellie – Great name by the way 🙂

      It is certainly NOT a lost cause. In fact it’s kind of cute the way you two are so shy with each other when it’s clear there’s something more going on.

      The first thing that comes to mind is this loyalty card thing. What happens when you forget it? Can he look up your name and email for you? Can he issue you a new card with your name and possibly phone number and email attached?

      You see what I’m getting at… “Ooops! I must’ve forgotten the thing. Don’t you already have my name and email listed somewhere?” (Cute coy smile and don’t forget to lightly touch his hand while your handing your book over to him and look in his eyes, not at the book(s). )

      I just see it all as a great lead-in to exchange information and to let him know you’re “feeling” it too AND it’s about time we do “something” about it.

      It’s probably beyond both of you to all of a sudden completely wipe out the nervousness so I wouldn’t bother trying to talk yourself into saying something beyond that. All you two really need to do is contact each other outside the book store and work past the weirdness.

      For now – avoid the small talk – steer away from a deep discussions about what you’re buying and what he thinks about it – that will come later.

      What you want to do is turn all the nervous energy you’re both feeling into something enjoyably fun and please be honest about it all with him. Even if it means saying, “Do you know of any books a girl can pick up on how to pick up the cute guy working at a bookstore?” 😀

      Make light of it all for yourself and for him too and you just might get him to openly exchange the info you both need.

      If any of that doesn’t work, or you want more “tricks” haha! please feel free to let me know and I’ll give you what I can.

      And by all means – I want to know how it goes – Sound like a deal Ellie?

      Thanks for asking “Bookstore Stalker,” 🙂 I’m sure he’s in for a great time with you,


      • Ellie

        Thanks for the feedback Peter!

        The loyalty card is just a card you stamp, no name or email address is given so that rules that option out.

        I was thinking I could buy something using my credit card because my name would be printed on the receipt I think? But that’s a bit passive for my liking, and still doesn’t give him my number.

        I like your book idea…”Picking up a hot guy in a bookstore – for Dummies”!!! haha, yeah that sounds about right! Sounds quite risky and out there, I’d be worried he wouldn’t get it and instead give me a weird look and say nothing. Cue awkward silence and face turning beetroot. The only way I could see this happening is if I stopped by a local bar and drank a couple of shots first…I’m Irish btw! Hmmm, I’ll give it some thought.

        Thanks for the enouragement anyway, I feel more positive about it now. And I agree that I need to keep things light and casual, to try and ease the nervous energy which is definitely the main barrier. I’ll pay the store a visit in a few days and see what happens. And of course, I’ll keep you updated 🙂

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