“If you want to change a man start taking action. She’s not getting a commitment from her man. Don’t let this happen to you. This is how men work. Men who don’t take action won’t ever start doing it on their own. Men have a priority list in their mind. Get him to change or find another guy quickly.”
Ilove my husband… BUT, there are certainly a few things that I would like to change about him. Ha.
And I’m sure you’ve had the same thoughts about the man in your life or about men you’ve dated in the past.
So I’m going to tell you my trick for getting a man to change!!!
To be honest, it’s not so much a trick but rather a course of action that works.
Not sure if you know this, but for every woman that buys a copy of my program That’s Not How Men Work, they get a free week of email coaching from me.
I get 100’s of emails a day from men and women all over the world, asking me for help and I do my best to help them.
From time to time, there are ones that really stand out to me that I like to share with you.
I do this because the advice I give to these people may benefit you as well.
This morning I got an email from a woman that I’ll refer to as A.
I won’t share the entire email but what A was asking me about was an on again, off again relationship that she’d been having for the past 13 years.
That is currently OFF again.
She and her ex, who is in his 50’s, have a child together and she’s always wanted commitment from him i.e. Marriage, living together….
Basically anything that shows he’s remotely invested in her and their child. But this dude never seems to take action and seems to come up with a ton of selfish excuses.
RED FLAG NOTE: Men who do not take action will almost NEVER take action.
If you start to notice this in the beginning of dating GET OUT!
A’s big question to me was is she right in thinking that after 13 years with this man that there is no future with this man?
Is it right of her to try dating other men right now??
I wanted to share my response JUST IN CASE you are experiencing similar thoughts and questions.
Here is my response to A and my little trick for how to change a man!
I don’t want to say that there is no future with this man BUT there is no future with him if you keeping waiting around for him to be the man you want him to be WITHOUT taking action.
He won’t resort to action UNLESS there is a reason for action.
See, how men work is that they are single focused. Which means they only focus on 1 thing at a time…
Unlike women who are phenomenal multi-taskers.
Men have a mental list of items that need to be accomplished, either in their mind or literally on a piece of paper.
1. Hang pictures
2. Scratch butt
3. Make wife happy
You get the point 😉
Men mentally put things on this “list” in order of priority.
How the list works is that high level items that need immediate attention go to the top of the list.
And lower priority items hover around the bottom UNLESS there is a need to bump it’s position.
IF you stick around and wait for this man, taking no action accept waiting…
Then there is no incentive for your man to ACT!
If you’re in a rush and want to know my #1 secret for making any man change his emotions so that he feels a cocktail of addictive desire and LOVE for you, then follow this link…
And marrying you, being there for you and taking action won’t bump up to the top of his list.
The thing is that men don’t make these list to be cruel.
They do it to be efficient.
I’m not saying that this is going on with your guy. He may just never want to fully commit BUT the only way to find out and potentially see some action…
Is to TAKE ACTION!
And by action, I mean start living your life for you instead of waiting for him.
You can ever be very direct and tell him that this is what you are going to do and stick with it.
Here’s how you can say it:
“What I want is for us to be together and what I need from you is X,Y, Z. If you can’t do that right now then I have to end things as they are now. I can’t wait anymore and I have to live my life.
IF you change your mind and are ready to work with me, let me know and I’ll see where I am at and if I still want what I want now.”
Clear, direct and specific.
Specificity with men is super important.
That’s what the XYZ was for.
To tell him what you need from him.
Then you have to live what you said and let go.
You can’t do this with the motive of getting him to do what you want or it won’t work because you’ll eventually just settle with no action and go back to him.
This will work 100% because either way you’ll win.
Either you’ll get him to take action OR your action will open the door for tons more opportunities 🙂
And P.S. – I totally forgot to answer your question about online dating.
If you are off with this guy then Hell Yes start dating online and offline too.
You are a free woman.
Before I sign off, make sure you check out this presentation that I put together for you which reveals…
You’ll discover how to make any man change his emotions so he feels an unstoppable amount of desire, love and commitment for you.
Go find an awesome guy who will treat you the way you are meant to be treated!
P.S. The only way to change a man is to first change ourselves.
NOTHING is ever going to change if you just keep repeating the same action over and over and over again!
I seriously hope that IF you are experiencing anything remotely similar to A and want things to change, you will follow the advice I listed above and TAKE ACTION!!!
The only way to get what you want is by doing. So start doing and I guarantee, things will start to change!
Marni has one more article here at the approach and you can read it here: Are You Guilty of Pushing Men Away?