How To Deal With Guys Staring At You

Woman-Public-Display

Men like to stare. It’s no secret.

So How DO you deal with guys always checking you out, but never approaching or worse yet – just plain staring at you with that creepy look in their eyes?

Let’s face it – you don’t want them all to talk to you. You’d not only never get anything done or get anywhere, but you’re just not interested in some of them.

You can snub them. Give them a dirty look. Never look them in the eyes. Turn your back and keep your distance.

I’ve seen lots of women do that. Honestly all that does is either piss them off or switch on their “challenge trigger.” If that’s okay with you then go for it.

You can smile at the guys you want to talk to. You can hope they get hint. You can flip back your hair, rub your thighs, walk very slowly by them and wink – but let’s be honest here – that scares away lots of men because they’re just not mentally (or sometimes physically) prepared to meet you.

It seems you have a few choices:

You noticed a guy is staring at you and you’re a little curious:

  • Engage him with your eyes, keep your body language open, and hope for the best.
  • Avoid being surrounded by your girlfriends and set yourself up in a public but discreet area. Men are less likely to approach woman in a very public place.
  • Do NOT bury your head or fingers in your phone. If you have to keep busy remember to look up once in a while. Men need the right opportunity to get on with their business.
  • Smile softly. Laugh with your friends and then go ahead and give him a quick look.
  • Learn to make a good first impression – Make A Good First Impression With Men

You just got a creepy look from a guy and the last thing you want is to give him an opening to come to you:

  • Discourage the unwanted by avoiding eye contact, hide yourself discreetly, or perhaps even surround yourself with people you know.
  • Position your body away from him and keep yourself in a very public place. If he has to declare his approach to you which will put him on the spot publicly, he’ll be less likely to get up the nerve.
  • Grab a book, a phone, a pen, any sort of prop which can keep your attention occupied so he believes you’re extremely busy.
  • If you’re with your friends laugh often and NEVER look his way no matter how hard it is. I understand that’s difficult but I know you can do it.

Men (typically)stare at you (women)  because they’re experiencing some sort of attraction towards you.  At “Why Do Guys…?” you can find a more in-depth meaning behind it all here –> If Men Are Always Looking At You – What Does It Mean?

Basically, to a guy, it feels good to experience attraction and since our physical attraction can be felt from just a quick glance of you – we will allow ourselves to stare often.

How long or how intently, or how it’s done depends on the guy and his situation in life.

Now that you understand why, how to either avoid him approaching you or give him the okay to come over, we must talk a little about something called your self-conscious thoughts or your projections of your self-image.

People with high social anxiety tend to over think and believe even in a very crowded area, not only is everyone staring at them, but more importantly they are being judged by those very same eyes.

It has been proven we are born with a feature or instinct and we use this ability to protect ourselves. As very lightly told by these two out sourced posts:

For some us that instinct proves to be socially harmful because it enhances our anxiety and causes us to either believe people are judging us.

When I was a much less confident person I believed people were seeing the bad in me. The terribly matched clothes. The ugliness in me. The pathetic hippy nerd with no real ability with women.

Funny how we take what see in ourselves and project them onto the leering eyes. Which is why it is often called “Projection.”

When I became more confident in myself suddenly people were not staring at me – they were either believing I was famous, recognizable but not known, or for women, they were suddenly attracted to me and were caught actually fantasizing about me.

The projection I experienced changed from one of a negative belief of myself and being judged, to a positive, often attractive, view of me from afar.

From a look of disgust to admiration based solely on what I believed about myself. From a pathetic meaningless existence to a handsome sexy guy with way too many women admirers.

I firmly believe if you want to know how to deal with guys staring you must first understand how you’re projecting your image and seeing yourself through what you believe is their eyes. When in reality you have no idea what they are thinking.

Now of course, you’re going to be right from time to time. If it’s that obvious a guy was staring at your ass then he probably was AND it’s because you do have a lovely butt.

But when you can’t see how others might find you attractive this whole staring business becomes something you have to deal with.

You can see it as a compliment, albeit not a clever one, or an indication you ARE approachable, or any positive thing about yourself OR you can choose to deal with it negatively by secluding yourself in your negative thoughts about yourself – thus enhancing your social anxiety.

Obviously, sometimes this is beyond your direct control. So how doyou deal with it:

By doing whatever you can to increase how you feel about yourself and suddenly those stares will not mean so much anymore. Perhaps you won’t even notice them anymore. Perhaps you’ll walk a little taller when one of those really cute guys catches your eyes and you find yourself giggling inside.

However you choose to deal with the stares – however you choose to see them – never forget your internal beliefs will ALWAYS be projected on to the thoughts of others AND everyone, everywhere, in every social environment, are experiencing the same thing you are.

Just as you project your image – they too project their image on to you.

No one is exempt from the internal thoughts and responses which come from other people’s stares.

Man Ignoring Woman She Unhappy

You’ll never believe all the reasons why a guy will ignore a woman. Some of them are absolutely absurd.

Thanks for stopping by – Peter White Why Do Guys…?

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5 comments… add one
  • Luna

    This is a fucking stupid man-splaining article. Women don’t want to be stared at. We know why men do it. And we don’t see it as a compliment. The only reason this douche of an author probably hasn’t been told off by a woman for staring is that women have been killed by men for less – we know that if we say “leave me alone you fucking creep” we run the risk of actual bodily harm.
    Dear author- please shove this article where the sun doesn’t shine, that’s where it belongs.

    • Peter White

      Everyday, yes “everyday” a woman asks me why a guy is staring at her. Some of them don’t like it, some of them are curious as to why, and some of them asked me what they can do about it – whether it’s to stop it or get the guy to stop staring and start talking instead.

      I believe the article lightly answers the question of “HOW” to deal with guys staring at you depending on what the reader wants to happen. Which could be “stop it” or “approach me” or whatever.

      Nowhere in the article does it state that I’m the guy doing all the staring and nowhere does it actually defend or say it’s a smart thing for men to do.

      I’m assuming you read the article… guess not.

      Honestly, your presumptuous attitude about women staying quiet around me because they risk an attack is rather crude and unnecessary.Your language and defensive attitude over something which needs not defending really only proves your lack of intelligence and inability to understand the written word.

      How would you like me to assume, by your lame comment, that you’re just all bent because no guys approach you but stare all the time, but you’re so hot and dress to impress so they stare, but you’re not dressing for them and it pisses you off… you’re obviously too “good” for them. Maybe it’s your attitude. They see “bitch” and treat you accordingly, like a piece of meat. They objectify your body because because, based on your attitude, feel you are not deserving of anything more.

      Of course – maybe I’m right about you. Maybe I’m wrong. It’s easy to assume anything.

      And since you assumed everything about the article without actually “thinking” about it and just wrote hate – I felt my assumption was perhaps not justified but was really fun.

      Either way, thank you for shedding light on an article you want placed where the sun don’t shine.

      Pete

  • Gloriya

    Hi Peter,
    Wow that first comment and your reply to it was hilarious haha. My issue is that when a guy or man stares at me my instinct is to turn my face to them with the serious “don’t mess with me” face in aim of intimidating them and what happens is I stare them down until they finally look away. But after I feel like this is not what I should have done but I feel like if I don’t do it then it’s like I’m too weak to defend my ground or something but I also feel staring back actually adds fuel than putting the fire out. I’m 23 and not the most experienced but I’d like to hear your opinion on what I should do in those defensive impulse moments. I’m not the type to yell. Quietly confident is the goal. I’d like to chill that situation down and not feel intimidated by the guy and carry on with whatever I was doing.
    Cheers enjoy the weekend !

  • kali

    This is good article, well written. I like how you explained how we project our view of ourselves on to others. I don’t know why that woman earlier was getting mad at your article it’s unreasonable. You actually gave me answers to how my perspective on myself has changed a lot recently, from low confidence, to higher confidence. I still have a long way to go to discovering myself though.

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