Lately I’ve been getting an intriguing amount of e-mail from guys who have begun to succeed at getting women’s numbers.
Others have reported that they’re writing e-mails to women online that are starting to get the desired results.
And, of course, what follows logically from all of that is FIRST DATES…or “first meetings”, as I’d prefer to call them.
Labeling the act of hanging out with a woman for the first time a date tends to turn the event into a real “pressure cooker”, so the first step when planning to meet a woman for the first time is to keep things casual.
The important thing is to evaluate whether the two of you even get along-especially if you’re meeting someone you’ve been talking to online.
But that doesn’t stop us as guys from trying to impress a woman on a first date, does it?
For the record, I remain convinced that “trying to impress a woman” in it’s most baseline form is NOT a good idea. The keyword being “trying”. When a woman senses you are overtly attempting to amaze her, you’ve already lost half the battle.
Trying too hard = needy and desperate.
That’s all there is to it.
But here’s the part that gets lost in translation.
You…um…kind of DO want her to be impressed with you, don’t you?
If she isn’t, then you’re going nowhere. Fast.
In a sense, it’s kind of like being cool. The more effortless it is, the more likely it is to succeed.
And that’s the part that I’m getting asked about a lot lately by guys who are starting to get the opportunities with women they’ve always wanted.
What in the world do you DO on a “first meeting”?
And on top of that, how exactly is a guy supposed to “impress her” WITHOUT TRYING to “impress her”?
Heretofore, most of what you have read out there has likely either been about how to be a “natural” (while assuming such on your part), or rather how to “Frankenstein” a bunch of steps together to help you REPLICATE being “natural”.
Well, here’s a novel concept:
How about fine-tuning what may already be a part of your EXISTING SKILLSET or EXISTING PERSONA so as to be better with women?
In other words, what about considering attraction as a DYNAMIC SKILLSET that can actually be LEARNED?
Look for a deep dive on that very concept in an all-new major program next year. But for now, I’m going to give you a “sneak preview” by way of example.
There are about a thousand ways to improve your chances when meeting a woman for the first time. Let me be clear about that.
But given the constraints of a weekly newsletter, today I’m going to introduce to you a particularly powerful one I’ll call “Mind Triggering”.
That term probably isn’t original to me by any stretch, but it sounds good and describes what I’ve got in mind perfectly. So I’m going with it.
Here’s how it goes…
From now on, EVERY TIME you are out and around in your metro area, start actively observing your surroundings in the CONTEXT of planning first meetings.
All too often we blindly go from point “A” to point “B” without really looking around. Even when out socially or in some other “relaxed” setting, we tend to absorb ourselves in our immediate surroundings rather than noting at a deeper level what it around us.
Chalk it up to being over stimulated or too busy as a society, but I’ve noticed that there can be the most amazing sunset of all time unfolding before our collective eyes, and almost nobody around stops to take notice.
So my bet is almost none of us as guys proactively scan our landscape for great places to take women.
Not just restaurants or clubs, mind you, but ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE.
From now on, start doing that.
But that’s the easy part, of course. That’s a “no brainer”.
Here’s the mindset that takes that simple exercise to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL.
Whenever you spot a cool place, consider WHAT KIND of woman would love it.
And what kind of woman would be AMAZED that you thought to take her there?
Start thinking like this, and before you know it (perhaps less than a week, even) you’ll have a serious list of potential places to take women on “first meetings”…and furthermore, you’ll know WHY they’re strategic.
Get out a friggin’ pen and paper and make a REAL, ACTUAL list if you need to in order to commit the various options to memory.
Then comes the magical part.
When you get a woman’s number or start talking to someone online, do another obvious but often-overlooked thing and GET HER TALKING.
Ask her questions about what she’s into. What her dreams are. What her favorite things are.
You know, what REALLY EXCITES her.
If you’ve done the first steps I’ve shared with you above effectively, what she tells you will start TRIGGERING certain spots you’ve taken note of in your mind.
LISTEN and therefore intuit the best dating venues/activities based on what you’ve heard.
THEN…when the time comes to suggest that the two of you hang out together, your plan will be-as if by magic-EXACTLY what will amaze her most.
There will be no planting her in your passenger seat and asking her “what she wants to do”. No chest pounding about your cars, boats, etc. will be necessary (as if…). No drama with regard to “trying to impress” her whatsoever.
Only you having heard that the greatest trip she ever went on was to Greece back in college…and therefore taking her to that hole-in-the-wall Greek restaurant for lunch.
Or, you having heard she was all-state choir in high school…and therefore hitting the coolest karaoke bar in town.
OR, you having figured out she’s a “wellspring of useless information”…and therefore challenging her to “Buzztime” trivia where you know they’ve got it.
And had she been interested in jazz, tango dancing, Brazil, hookah, etc, you would have known where to take her also.
If she played soccer in high school, craved a perfect Long Island Iced Tea and/or dug rock climbing; you would have known how to execute the plan.
Get this right and expect mellifluous and/or downright feline utterances from her to the effect of, “this night was purrrrfect”, “it’s like you read my mind”, or my personal yardstick by which all positive “impressions” are measured: “you’re AMAZING.”
And once you’ve got that handled, you can actually relax-once and for all-and get down to assessing the most important question surrounding your meeting together:
Does SHE impress YOU?
Don’t let another woman pass you by before you try out The Man’s Approach – Meeting Women Demystified.
The Man’s Approach is the regular guy’s complete blueprint for approaching women, starting conversations with them and making plans to see them again…all without having to become a pickup artist.
Scot and Emily McKay can be found here at X & Y Communications.