I’ve been in a relationship for 6 months, but he seems to move really slowly. He told me that he noticed me 4 years back (we work at the same firm), and that when I started here he always looked out for me (not in a stalking way). He told me that he just had to take charge to say hi and officially meet me, and we have been together since then.
Just to give you an idea on him, he’s been with the same firm for 20 years. He is happy in his job, yes he did move up in the ranks and did make a name for himself. He told me he likes routine a lot and does not make hasty decisions.
I one time asked him why he holds back so much and he replied that he wants to make sure of what he wants…because he ‘s been hurt before. I also got hurt before, but I am not holding back…
Your program Capture His Heart started me thinking on do I want to commit to this guy, if he’s like this in our relationship now how will this be if he ever asks me to get married?
What I would like to know…. am I wasting my time with this guy or is he just really slow?
Hi, Marie – You’re dating a quiet, slower man, and they have their own advantages and disadvantages, and depending on what YOU want out of a relationship I think they can make pretty awesome partners.
The big advantages:
A quiet, slow man is usually very stable, not just emotionally, but also (very frequently) financially.
For some people, this is a huge benefit.
In other words, you get to be the dynamic, whirlwind person and he provides the grounding for that.
You won’t be competing with him for attention, either.
Also, a man with a slow, deliberate approach can be quite a pleasure in the bedroom.
He’ll take the time to get you where you want to go.
The potential problem:
The reason some women don’t like the slower-paced guys is because it just takes them forever to make a move!
You might get frustrated at having to wait on him all the time.
And if you’re hoping to commit within a short time-frame, you might have to pass this guy on by.
But not necessarily!
Slow-paced guys are usually pretty happy for you to lead on making moves, for one thing.
So be SURE to communicate openly and clearly with him on the important stuff.
This means you have to know what you want, of course, so if you’re not clear, GET clear.
And when it comes to commitment, the key to working with a man like this is to let him know your time frame.
If you hope to get married within a year after starting to date someone, you need to be able to let him know this in a non-threatening way.
Best to you, Marie!
If you’re sick of “Bad Boys,” “Players,” and guys who just won’t commit, you need to go watch this new video renowned relationship expert Michael Fiore put up:
Make Him Desperate For You!
Have you ever been so deeply in love you felt desperate for a man who wasn’t feeling the same way for you?
You know the kind of heartache I’m talking about…
The kind where the more urgent you felt, the more he seemed to be backing away?
Where the drama and intensity piles up until, boom: the relationship breaks completely, leaving YOU completely devastated, while he seems only mildly inconvenienced (and moves on to a new woman, practically the next day).
What if you could COMPLETELY reverse that scenario?
Make him so desperate for YOU that he can’t sleep at night for wondering how to make you his and his alone…
Cause him to pursue you restlessly until you’re nestled happily in his arms, listening to his voice rumbling in his chest as he murmurs one romantic promise after another.
This totally “regular” woman did EXACTLY that – turned the tables on the guy she wanted – and it worked!
It wasn’t hard, but you DO have to know what you’re doing.
And the totally WEIRD thing is that now her boyfriend has made this slightly embarrassing (for him), very revealing (for you) “tell all” video.
It explains the 3 unusual things she did to completely put HIM in the “desperate-for-her” seat.
It was kind of out of character for him to get so dramatic about a woman (after all, he was used to having his pick of lovely ladies), but when she did these 3 things, he really fell for her, and fell hard.
No, it’s not some “trick.”
The 3 steps are just not how most women typically approach things with a man, and they certainly aren’t expected by any guy.
But they totally spin his head around, and make him putty in your hands. You may find him down on one knee, when you NEVER expected THAT to happen.
In fact, there’s one thing the video DIDN’T tell you…
He’s not her boyfriend any more – he’s her husband.
Those 3 steps he shares in the video had a nearly hypnotic power, and kept working long after she set them in motion. I guess you could say they are still working, even today, long after the fact.
So if you’re ready to make broken hearts a thing of the past…
If you’re ready to finally let a man do the work (and be excited to do it) of chasing, winning, and loving you forever…
You gotta see this video!
More great advice from Claire can be found here: