Meeting Him, “Why Won’t Men Approach Me and How Do I Make It Happen”


I‘m a pretty cool, calm and confident guy and wouldn’t you know it, part of what I do for a living is to approach women.

So when I hear a woman ask,

“Why Won’t Men Approach me?”

You can assume I know why. You can also assume my cocky ass has a thousand more opinions than answers on this subject.

I would love to separate the facts from the opinions but I’ve found that’s kind of boring so you’re going to have to settle for both.

It’s okay because I’m a guy and who better to give you the reasons why someone like me – or just any guy, might never approach you.

I suppose I’m getting a little rambunctious because I have answered this question so many times before…

But the answer either gets overlooked, lost or forgotten much too quickly.

Perhaps even winding up in argument between a man whose clueless on how to interact with women and a woman who believes it’s strictly a man’s job and women are NOT allowed to approach a man.

All that and more prompted me to write this Screw the “Rule” of Who Approaches Who at my nice guys approach and this one more recently here at The Approach –> Don’t Wait For Him To Approach You! Pick Up Lines For Women

Which is entirely absurd if you ask me.

If you want to approach a guy or if you want him to approach you… do it!

What better way to test a man’s confidence and strength around a beautiful woman such as yourself than to call him out instantly.

Of course after some genuine eye contact and a coy playful smile always helps ease his nervousness.

I’ve said it in videos, and I’ve said it in words, so maybe I’ll finally let someone else have the chair – but first…

A prominent and highly studied fear in people has been speaking in public.

Men included.

You can assume based on my “male” experiences and the guys I teach there is very little difference in how it feels:

Like hardcore reject them. Like laugh in their face. Like slap you in the face. Like cause a scene in a room full of strangers and plain straight out call you a fool. Of course this rarely happens, but this is what guys honestly are thinking about when they are deciding about whether or not to approach a girl. Its nerve-racking
Why Won’t He Approach Me? 3 Secrets Which Will Make You Irresistibly Approachable!

Now that kicks ass Without a doubt, if you want a simple answer with great advice tagged on too – you will get it there.

Men fear public rejection.

That’s why he’s more likely to approach a single woman than a group of women. That’s why you’ll see him talking to”her?” and not the hot girl whose face is buried in her phone.

Which brings me to a short list of excuses men share on why they fail to approach any woman let alone a hotter one.

Some have everything to do with you and some has everything to do with him.

Your side:

  • You’re on your phone or texting at the wrong time or way too much.
  • Your real personality aside, your persona may scream “up-tight” or “bitch.”
  • You’re always walking too quickly possibly with your head too high or too low.
  • You won’t make any real eye contact at all.
  • You don’t smile when we get closer.
  • Your gay friend looks like your hot boyfriend.
  • It feels inappropriate or like we’re interrupting you. If you’re closing yourself off we’re less likely to move in.

Our side:

  • We can agree that not all men are not incredible conversationalists. Their excuse then becomes, “I don’t know what to say!
  • We feel like we wouldn’t have a chance with you.
  • We don’t want to get beat up.
  • We assume you have a boyfriend, husband, or thug close by ready to pounce our asses into a bloody pulp.
  • We’re not the brightest bulb on the porch – where did we ever believe approaching a woman in a loud club was a smart thing to do. If you ever had to scream approach a woman you know what I mean.
  • We don’t feel “dressed up” enough, just got out of work, feel irregular, or we’re standing in line at a market shopping for frozen dinners and hair gel.
  • We over think it and by the time we come up with anything you’re already gone.
  • We feel we have to be clever and unique.

The “hotter side” ?:

In this forum post a woman asks:

I have had this issue for a long time now. My female friends describe me as “hot” My male friends and people i know well describe me as “hot” but yet no man has ever ever ever dared to approach me (…) So my question is if i am so hot then why aren’t men approaching me? A friend once told me “you’re to hot and they feel intimidated by you and they think you’re most probably taken by the way you look”
If I am so hot then why don’t men approach me?

So yes – perhaps men are definitely are intimidated by you.

Perhaps they do assume you’re already taken.

That would definitely go along with the facts I’ve experienced and found.

But – Everybody tells her how hot you are?

Do you believe it yourself?

Do you believe it so much you feels like you deserves to be approached?

Do you believe your “hotness” is the cause of your “issue”?

In all fairness “pretty girl” your issues seems to be coming from you.

And I’m NOT being mean I just have a different way of seeing it.

You see your mind can control your body, your face, and your overall appearance.

If you are for One, thinking you deserve to be approached your “look” may be easily perceived as a little stuck up.

Two – if your esteem or reasons for believing your good-looking at coming from other people, your body may display weak tendencies.

This causes lots of guys to feel like they’re the one who has to keep the conversation going.

Whether you can talk your ass off or not, if your body displays to any man like he’s going to have to work on a conversation – you’ll scare away lots of men because, as I mentioned above, not all men are incredible conversationalists.

Some of them need YOU to nudge him just a little.

You, and lots of other women are going to hear how your body language needs to be open and relaxed if you want more guys to start approaching you.

But you’re not going to hear how possible that is without getting so self-conscious you come off as a nervous wreck. The easy way to relax is to start with your mind and let the body follow.

This is especially true for women because you are so much more in tune with your body than most men. This goes beyond positive affirmations. ( I guarantee you’ll drive yourself crazy doing those while some guy is checking you out.)

You take care of your “issues,” your responsibilities, find your “quiet” mind and your body will know how to open up.

Now that you know where I stand on this subject, like it or not, share it with your friends or better yet, why don’t you tell me how you REALLY feel about it all. 😉

I would especially like to hear from you guys on why you don’t approach some or all women.

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23 comments… add one
  • Ndzhaka

    I really like this article, cause I’ve been wanting to approach the guy I like . But the problem is I’m shy, stubborn ,I’ve been told by many people that I’m antisocial,but at the same I’m really confident. I just need more tips on how to approach him ,coz I’ve been delaying this for quiet a while and I would like to do this by the end of the year

  • John

    You can’t “make” a guy or any other person do anything. Imagine the furor if you wrote an article on how to “make” a woman do something. Hypocritical bitch. No wonder men have lost all interest in women.

    • Actually John, the internet is filled with how to to make women do lots of things and I don’t see much of an uproar about it. I do agree, you can’t normally make someone do something BUT you certainly can convince them. You can “con” them. You CAN control others in a way for good or bad and history has proven that fact.

      I also don’t see how men have lost all interest in women or how you came to that conclusion at all. I’m willing to bet when you meet a guy who “claims” he’s lost interest in all women, he’s just acting like a whiny crying boy because he got hurt, won’t learn what’s necessary to attract a woman, and has a list of excuses or reasons why he’s such a failure with women.

  • Paul

    I never approach any woman – no matter how attracted I might be to her – because total rejection is always guaranteed. I’m not afraid of rejection – there is no point in putting myself out there when it’s a plain fact that it will never result in anything positive. No woman – except my mother – has ever smiled at me in my life, so I ignore pretty much everyone and just mind my own business.

    • Very sad Paul but keep in mind, when you enter an approach situation with that attitude, you can expect to be rejected but in reality, (yeah I know this will sound like lame-ass movie or lost Brady Bunch episode) you’re only rejecting yourself.

      Create your reality and live in it. If this reality is negative and it’s all you can see happening, then expect it will happen. However, with the right skills, the right practice, and when you expect good things will happen – they will.

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