13 Real Reasons Why A Guy Will Not, Can Not, or Does Not Text You Back

Her-Phone-Number

As promised in my last post I’m going to cover many reasons why a guy can not, will not, or does not text you back.

This can help you to alleviate any stress you might experience when your phone goes quiet. Also it can help you decide when it’s time to move on.

You’ll also notice a few of them have to do with how you acted or act with regards to your phone.

Avoid those little mistakes, follow my two text routine, and I’m positive men will get back to you regardless of some of the reasons listed below.

In no particular order of course…

1. He’s busy at work.

You may think this is obvious but unfortunately I’ve known a few women who will text him at work as a little game. If he is willing to put his work aside for one minute – he must be into you.

You must remember not every guy always carries his phone with him and not all of them have jobs which makes it possible to get back to you.

2. His phone service sucks.

If you’re assuming your phone always works and every text you send is received you might assume yourself into over thinking why he’s not getting back to you.

The truth is not only do a few texts get lost in the digital world, some get lost while several are sent. He could easily miss it or accidentally skip over it.

3. He has a wife or girlfriend who is close by.

Ouch!! Yes I know but just what if you didn’t know he was seeing someone else. What if you didn’t know he was even married.

Although this may not be the most common reason you must admit that it can and unfortunately does happen.

4. He’s on a date.

Not too many “smart” men I suppose would dare answer another woman’s text back while he’s on a date.

If you know he’s seeing other women or you send the text during a popular “date” time rest be assured he might have been on a date with another woman.

5. He’s having sex with another woman…or man.

As above, think about when you’re sending a text. I have actually been in this situation myself. My phone was close to the bed and I was smart enough to put it on vibrate but that didn’t stop me from hearing the end table shake.

It was two messages from a “girlfriend” trying to get a hold of me at three in the morning while I was having sex with a woman.

6. You send him too many “forwards.”

Don’t we all have a friend like this? She’s the one who constantly sends forwards. sometimes up to ten or fifteen a day.

Sure I understand it’s just who she is and yes it can get annoying but what this leads to is…Me deleting many of her message without even looking at them.

She doesn’t realize that if she wants to send me anything but a forward I might not even look at it because I delete so many of her messages in the first place.

7. You don’t send him any real pictures of you.

This may be for the casual “online” dater. He’s happily shared many “real” pictures of himself but you either refused or failed to send him anything but a real picture of yourself.

Send him too many or little pictures that are genuine and you’ll hear the “texting” chirps from the digital crickets motioning he’s not listening or reading them anymore.

8. He’s not interested or attracted to you.

David says this…

If after going out on a date with a guy you have texted him twice without a return text, DELETE THAT NUMBER! – 
He Is Not Texting or Calling – When Is It Time To Delete His Number?

It happens and as David states sometimes there’s no chemistry. Sometimes the attraction just isn’t there.

There’s a definite possibility he’s just not into you. Don’t take it personal because it’s all just a part of the dating process and you and O both know, rarely ever does a person go though life without being rejected at least once.

9. He thinks texting you back too quickly goes against the “dating code.”

Trust me this happens often.

Men get stuck on trying to follow whatever rule of dating they were taught. If I text her back too quickly…If I wait a perfect amount of time she’ll think I’m hard to get.

Of course this is easily solved by giving him a chance to get back to you.

Other than that if he’s not getting back to you immediately there’s a more than high probability he’s trying to follow the rules of not being needy.

You can always follow through quickly with a phone call.

If you do this – please stop it and you will notice guys getting back to you quicker.

We may not figure it out but if the pattern is consistent you’ll notice certain guys are not texting you back – because they know it means a phone call.

Now whether he wants the call or not may not have much bearing on your case but the fact remains…if you follow a text or two with a phone call this could be why he isn’t answering your messages.

10. He’s driving somewhere.

Sometime the reason is simple. It’s not safe. He doesn’t check his phone every time it buzzes. Especially when he’s driving.

Give it some time before you write him off because we all probably spend too much time on our cars.

11. His battery is dead/ phone sucks / or is always lost.

We all know men and women like this.

Their phone is always broken. They always lose it. The batteries are always dead.

Think about “who” you’re texting and how responsible he is with certain things in his life.

You may cherish your phone more than him. You may carry extra batteries or have some charger hidden deep in your bag but most men I know will never have a charger hanging from their back pockets.

I also know men who constantly leave their phones and are in a perpetual state of getting back their contact list because they just don’t pay attention to the details of their phone life.

12. He is showering or doing something in the bathroom.

Two facts about guys – the good and the gross… We shower. Some longer than others. Mine lasts about a half an hour. And we got to use the bathroom.

Remember it’s easy to be away from our phones for a period of time and then go do something else. The next thing we know we haven’t checked our phone in a couple of hours.

This could easily be the case.

At this point I think it’s best to remember there are many possibilities which have little to do with you on why a guy doesn’t instantly text you back.

Last but definitely not least…

13. He is masturbating.

Hey…truthfully I banged out some personal gratification at the strangest times but one more common time would be right before a shower.

And I’m known for taking forever!!!! In the shower and getting ready to go out. Geeeshh where was your mind?

Self-gratification, shower, getting ready, then perhaps going to work and suddenly a typical guy might not get back to you for ten hours. It all adds up.

That about covers many of the reasons of why a guy won’t, can’t or doesn’t text you back. 

I’m sure I’ve missed a few or more so please feel free to add your own below or better yet – tell me your what you’ve experienced and I’ll let you know what I think.


Please check out my absolutely free “Why Do Guys…?” for more great info on men. All me 🙂 All original. Get the inside scoop on men straight from a man… Peter White.
58 comments… add one
  • Alice

    Hi Peter,
    I’ve met a guy online 3 months ago and I felt this connexion, we have many stuff in common and always found a subject to discuss, and he always replied to my messages, and he was always the one to start the conversation, until he asked me for a picture of me as he’s never seen me, and I refused.. because I lack confidence in myself and was afraid he won’t find me pretty enough, I said “no, maybe next time” because I felt that I needed more time, and he’s been ignoring me since that.I texted him after 2 days and he did reply, although he was cold and sent short answers, then the next day he sent me some jokes, and I thought we’re fine again and I laughed and replied as usual, but… no answer from him, it’s been 20 days now, I feel awful, does he like me or not? is it necessary for him to see me? What if he doesn’t like my appearance? I’m not exactly very beautiful, I’m average, but I really want to know what’s on his mind, and should I try and text him again?

    • Hi Alice,

      Yes, unfortunately, he’s keeping you around just long enough, or just close enough until he gets a picture and a confirmation that you are in fact a real woman with real intentions. It’s not all bad. Sometimes it is just about knowing the woman he is talking to is actually a woman. There are too many circumstances where men (and women) can be fooled through just messages.

      Now about your looks, you have no way of knowing how he will see you. How you see yourself might be completely different than how he see you. It’s a risk but a necessary risk. Beside sooner or later, if you want things to move forward, you’re going to have to see each other. Why wait so long that it makes it even worse or harder on both of you.

      Get these things out of the way as quickly as possible before you waste YOUR time with him.

      Remember, men find all sorts of women beautiful. Looks do mean something to guys, that’s true BUT what men find beautiful varies a lot. What you see as average, I’m sure lots of guys would disagree and see something more.

      If you’re going send one. Take many and pic your favorite.

      All the best,

      Pete

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