The top online dating sites, whether it’s through your computer or on your phone, are not showing you the real problems of using their service AND they’re definitely not telling you the biggest secret to getting more successful dates. Stick with me as I reveal their secrets plus how you can solve those problems too.
Swipe left, swipe right, find a hottie who is within miles of you and is looking for sex…
There are appears to be two different channels online – One promotes quick sex, easy hook-ups, easy lays, the other promotes marriage and finding your dream partner.
Within each of those categories you can narrow down your “field of choice” to a specific race, creed, or even nationality.
The internet, with the use of our phones, has without a doubt turned dating into a buffet style dining experience. One price, one plate, and you can eat until you puke if the gluttony of sub-par food is what you really want.
Personally, I don’t like buffets. I prefer quality over quantity and being served over getting the shit myself.
However, I do suppose similar to the buffet the added bonus of online dating is that at least you don’t have to clean up your own mess. Assuming of course that most people who meet online are more apt to just lose a contact guilt free when they’re done or are not interested in that person anymore.
In my so-called prime dating life we had video dating. The worst experience anyone could go through but hey, at least you couldn’t hide behind a fake profile or bend the truth too much and since it was so expensive, unreliable, and taboo… creating a fake video wouldn’t be any different from walking by a trash can and tossing your cash in hoping some “hottie” would notice. She might be “just” curious enough to ask you “What the hell did you do that for?” Could’ve found a date that way just as easily.
The inherent problems of online dating seems to be completely overlooked by the ones selling you their premier package, or are they really oversights? If I’m selling you a service the last thing I’m going tell you is the absolute truth, it’s normally not smart business.
First BIG problem.
If you’re not living in or very near to a large city your choices are limited. VERY limited.
Unless you’re willing to travel, do the long distance thing, and the person you’re seeking is willing also, that buffet you just paid for means one trip and a lot of stale bread that’s been sitting around for hours maybe even days. Not that I found some women to be no better than stale bread but let’s be honest, from afar, even stale bread can look good.
Okay I’m not claiming this problem doesn’t exist in real life too, just that it’s easier to overlook this one in the real world.
You can either move to an area where there are more people OR expand your “viewing” area OR just understand the reality of your situation.
This is always the best advice, ONLY use online dating as one opportunity to explore. If you’re only looking online to hook up or date you’re limiting yourself and honestly, you’re not giving yourself enough credit to find someone the “old fashioned” way by doing things and meeting people doing those things you love.
Second BIG problem.
The competition is typically far greater online than it is in “real life”.
So to speak or generally speaking of course.
The person grabs their phone or tablet or whatever they’re using and within hours can approach as many people as they want with no risk involved at all. Men can write any and all women they find attractive with the same line and women can narrow down their “search” to such a degree she can rule out any dude who doesn’t fit her narrow preference of her perfect guy.
While in real life – her preferences are not so important as HOW a guy makes her feel AND men find it too risky or creepy or to approach a woman using some line in front of other women. Especially if he plans on “working a room” where women are going to see exactly what he’s doing.
Understand these facts:
- No one is your competition. Dating is not a race. It’s not something you win. It’s not something you need to “beat” someone else.
- Educate yourself. Improve your profile and message writing skills. Understand most people don’t bother researching online dating so use that to your advantage. If you do a little bit of “homework” and do things right, the probability of your success will increase. For MEN only, I wrote this multi-part series to help you cover all the basics and more: Are You Frustrated With Your Online Dating Experience? 1. No Messages
- Never get hooked on one person. Write them a few times and if you don’t get a response, let it go. Don’t spend forever tried to perfect the perfect message to someone you’ve never met. Always find a few minutes everyday to write someone new.
Third BIG problem.
REAL Attraction. Sooner or later you MUST meet up. Sooner or later you must become real to that person.
With regards to attraction, you can only go so far online if you want something real.
AND I have yet to see even ONE “hook-up” or supposed quality online dating site teach any man or woman about attraction. Sure you might get quick tips on profile writing to draw in your future mate, to increase your odds, to enjoy “safer” dating, but that’s about it.
When you think about “online”, creating real sustainable relationships with REAL advice about attraction might go against their “better business” model. So they might only want to create a low percentage of hook ups to brag about and keep their recurring payments high. Strange because from what I know about dating and relationships, there are and will always be an endless supply of single people wanting to either hook up or find a partner.
This is a key point because based on my experience – “online” or in “real life” ATTRACTION works relatively the same way AND if a guy learns how to attract a woman online, he’s going to quickly learn those very same things work even better in the real world AND you get instant feedback, instant results, instant gratification, etc… It’s far more rewarding experience watching the attraction come alive than to wait for yet another text message.
For women, the problem of attraction turns into something a little different. Where a guy might fall for a ( I hate so say it) average woman face to face, he’s likely to overlook her online because of all the images shoved his way. She may be more inclined to edit, edit, edit, up to a point where she’s far from looking herself or being herself just because she feels that’s the only way she’s going to get noticed… online.
Attracting men “visually” online requires a completely different technique that it does in person or in “real” life because in real life women have the advantage of being… okay well, REAL.
Meet up in person as quickly as possible. (Safely of course.)
If you’re not experiencing much success in “real life” and the opposite sex seems to be a little mysterious to you – get a proven and successful education on attraction. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it and trust me when I say, you’ll thank yourself for doing it and the your next date will too.
For Men – it’s Called Attraction Isn’t A Choice.
For Women it’s it’s Called Catch Him Keep Him by Christian Carter
Both offer the truth about attraction in a way which anyone can understand and both can be applied to online dating immediately. Actually if you’re as excited as I was you’ll want to apply the principles online before you even finish it.
Online dating is an unfair system and there’s nothing we can do about it.
The hard truth about online dating is that’s it feels unfair and there’s nothing you or I can do about it. Trying to change the system is not only a waste of time but also a moot point because it appears to be a necessary evil for more and more people everyday.
Despite the advances of modern-day dating – large companies with lots of money with one thing in mind – making money – have built the system we’re stuck using. Sure there are some so-called free sites but let’s be honest, they’re awful and offer no real choices AND worst of all, you can look but not touch unless you pay the EXTRA charge.
Unfair is not a word I like to throw around and it’s definitely not something which has ever stopped me before so I refuse to bring you down. I’m not asking you to give up and I’m certainly NEVER going to ask anyone to change the “system” from the ground up. It’s not my thing.
Just because something feels unfair doesn’t mean we shouldn’t use it. Life is unfair yet we still “use” that, right?
If you don’t let the shitty aspect of it trap you into becoming negative or feeling helpless you’re going to be okay. Online dating is there for us to use and take advantage of and thinking otherwise is just plain wrong.
The REAL solution is once again…
Education. Learn what THEY won’t teach you.
For men, no schemes or shitty ways to approach the problem, just real advice: Meet Women Online – A Proven System For Getting Tons Of Dates With Amazing Women Online… With Almost Zero Effort.
For Women – It might be about avoiding the bad men and learning to perfect a profile and messaging system which can help to get the better real men to come to you: Finding the One Online – The Secret to Attracting More Men, Higher Quality Men, and Making Them Do What You Want.
They are not going to teach you about how attraction works.
They are not going to teach you EXACTLY how you should use their product for a better experience that’s not filtered for their benefit.
Four BIG problems of online dating and their quick solutions:
- Your choices are limited by your reach or where you live –> Broaden your search and ONLY use online dating as just ONE of many ways to find and get dates.
- The competition is huge –> Dating is not a race. You don’t need to beat someone else to succeed. Focus on the right things.
- Attraction comes first –> Learn how and why it works and use the exact same methods in person to date online.
- It’s unfair –> Life can be unfair too. Learn what they won’t teach you. Don’t waste your time trying to change the system or let it get you down.
The internet is an amazing tool so why not use it for dating too.
Now that the “secrets” are out and you understand the reality of it all better, you’re far better equipped and ready take full advantage of it.