There’s a “sort of” rule in dating – “Never Tell A Man You Like Him.”
Except in the real world of dating rules are sometimes meant to be broken or they are at least designed to be slightly altered to fit the situation or need.
This led me to question “revealing your feeling” and how the rule applies to everyday dating. Hopefully that question or its effectiveness brought you here today so we can explore and learn:
- If there’s a right time to tell a guy you like him.
- How you can benefit from holding back your desires with him.
- How this rule can lead you to men who are less approval seeking or needy.
- Will telling him make you less or more attractive (in his eyes)?
- Why you would feel the need to tell him and what does that say about you?
- If you’re not allowed to “tell” how DO you let a man know you like him?
I’ll briefly cover everything and if you still have any questions leave them below…let’s get started because once again, I’m eager to tell. 🙂
Is there a right time to tell a guy you like him? …Or should you tell him at all?
FACT: Men are terrible at determining if a woman likes him. (generally speaking of course)
Lots of them just don’t get it and they fail to notice the subtleties you might believe are not subtle at all.
Okay if you’ve dated for a while and his actions prove without a doubt he likes you, but he appears to question you liking him back, I say go ahead make it known…
Be clever, creative, and make sure you “moderately” appeal to his “ego.” I’m not telling you to devote yourself to him or declare your absolute love for him. I’m merely asking you to turn up the hints and let it be known. Do it indirectly.
And don’t question him, push him, or expect any response at all or you will push him away. No pressure is what you’re aiming for.
But…Should you tell him? That depends on what type of guy you’re looking for and how far you’re willing to take it.
You see “high quality” men or the ones with the most attractive personalities do not ever need to be told. They assume it or they just don’t care. And they are rare.
They or We know.
And sure some of us are even quite cocky about it.
The exception is when you’re in an exclusive relationship as an act of romance. After all isn’t that what romance is about… A prelude to intimacy in which we show through our actions how much we care for an individual.
If you stick to the rule…”Never Tell A Man You Like Him,” will it lead you to a man who is non approval seeking or needy?
When you meet a man who is not constantly searching for clues you like him AND he still makes you feel excited AND he is excited around you…Why would you have to tell him anyways?
If it’s working…why change it? When it levels let it simmer a little and then “ramp” it up again. There are many similarities in dating and a great sexual experience, or life in generally where you have to see the connection.
So yes…Sticking to this rule and remembering the exception I pointed out above can lead you to a better more secure man.
You might have to go through more men or go on more dates but I feel it’s worth it. How about you?
This is a hard truth – and I suppose it’s only hard for men because I’m asking you to let go of so many men who just don’t get it…
If he does not show signs of understanding women on a whole he will not suddenly get it three years down the relationship.
He will only be reacting to what he understands is how you act.
There’s a clear difference.
Remember this about relationships and how they grow…
You’re not learning how to train men, You’re learning how to better share your life with someone else.
Now what if you go in the dreaded direction of asking him if you likes you, does it make you less attractive?
If you ask him, yes it will.
Unless you feel without a doubt he’s a great sincere man who just does not seem to get women but you want him anyways. Which is why this rule is so confusing. Easy to understand but hard to determine when to implement it. Truthfully I’ve known a couple of women who like to be the leader and they don’t mind being it. They actually prefer it.
If you want a relationship with this type you may have to become the leader in the relationship and take charge. I don’t recommend it but I would hate to see so many guys miss out on you just because they were not given the education I have, or even know where to begin.
Now this won’t make you less physically attractive, if that wasn’t obvious. But it can very easily push a guy away. Repelling in some ways is really just “an absence of attractiveness.”
In other words – if you do the wrong thing when there he doesn’t feel attraction – you will push him away quickly.
Which leads me to ask you a very important question…
Why do you feel the need to seek the approval of a man?
Remember school. How we had to tell another we liked someone. How “Johnny” passes a note to “Sarah” to tell “Lisa” he likes her…? Remember that stupid little paper or petal game so many girls played growing up…?
“He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not.”
If you find yourself asking others or even yourself if you should tell a man he likes you it pains me to say…
You are exhibiting a classic sign of neediness and you are seeking approval from a source outside yourself.
You’re living out a childhood game which was fine when we didn’t understand our emotions and how to deal with them, but as an adult only proves itself to delay success in meeting the “man of your dreams.”
If you’re not allowed to “tell” then how DO you let a man know you like him?
You flirt with him.
You tease him.
You playfully interact with sexual overtones and in a strange twist you actually accuse him of liking you!
Here’s an example:
NOT GOOD: “You’re awesome. I really like you.”
BETTER: “Wow you smell great tonight. You must really want to impress my cute ass.”
Since flirting is an adult or mature way of showing you’re smart, confident, and have a sexiness about you which is desirable it’s important to learn how to flirt better to attract more men.
At this point it become obvious – Don’t tell a guy you like him, Don’t ask a guy if he likes you, and you will naturally appear less needy.
Flirt with him and tease him the right way and you’re showing you’re at least interested – and if he takes the hint – or runs with the game – or responds by calling you out on each level – He likes you. Assume it. And assume since you’re appealing to his “manly” urge to be with you – he’s going to love it.
A major benefit of becoming a great flirt is to never have to worry about whether you should tell him you like him.
If you’re not sure why you feel the need to ask this question or tell a guy consider this type of behavior is constantly reinforced in those who find themselves in one bad relationship after another.
With each failure your esteem may drop causing even more questions like this to appear. You start second-guessing yourself and your attractiveness because you’re doing what you can to avoid another failure.
“Should I tell him?” or “Does he like me?” are just two forms of second guessing yourself.
Evan, in his quest to help women find better men profoundly states this…
Men win you over by giving to you.
We ask you out. We call you. We pay for dates. We initiate sex. We ask for commitment. We propose marriage.
We give. You receive.
Reverse this order by asking him out, initiating sex, asking for commitment, or proposing marriage, and a masculine guy will feel, well, emasculated.
Thus, if you want a masculine guy, your greatest move is to embrace your passive feminine side.
Untangling your past experiences and opening yourself up to new and more exciting experiences today, can and will stop many of these questions from ever coming up. And wouldn’t it be great not to have to question your every move in a relationship or in dating..?
Exploring this seemingly innocent question, ” Should You Tell A Guy You Like Him?” has definitely shown it’s not so innocent.
- It shows the absolute truth in attracting better men.
- It gives you a clear “scale” to mark your esteem and your level of ability to flirt.
- It unlocks how your past failures can almost invisibly affect your present which in turn affects your future relationships.
As always these so-called “rules” of dating and attraction are there for a reason – follow them correctly and you can start attracting better or more ‘masculine’ men in your life.
By acting in the present and not reacting to your past you may never have to ask or feel the need to know whether you should tell a guy you like him, or if he likes you back.
For more insights in men, please check out my absolutely free “Why Do Guys…?” for more great info on men. All me 🙂 Get the inside scoop on men straight from a man.