Tell Men Your Secrets – What Do You Want Men To Know About Women?

Secret-Woman

We all have secrets. Is there anything you would like to tell men about women? Something which could help the communication problems between men and women or just something you want to get off y our chest.

I

t’s no secret there’s a communication problem between women and men.

What women often tell guys what they “really” want appear to be different than what they actually go for.

Attraction has a way of guiding or bending things in such a way that logic or reasoning has little to do with it.

This “lack of communication” does a few things but for today, let’s only concern ourselves with these two:

What you tell men you want or who or what you actually go for confuses lots of them. This confusion often has them acting strangely as they try to decipher your meaning and typically fail doing so.

You can call it all “mixed signals” on both ends if you like.

This leads to more misunderstandings on your end but let’s NOT play the blame game or who started it all but if you must, make sure you leave your opinion below whatever it is.

The other communication breakdown (for today) leads to a discussion of these important areas:

Dating – What it is? How do you define it? What does it mean to you and how it could differ from what a guy believes? Should he or you only date one person at a time and if not, should you tell the guy or do you want him to tell you he’s dating other women?

Attraction – Let’s not talk about what you would like to happen or who would you like to feel something for BUT what has happened. This means what pieces, parts, actions, personalities, body types, jobs, careers, superficial items have you actually found yourself with because of that trait or object?

It’s not what attracts you BUT attraction has caused you to act?

What causes your instant attraction for which you would act on and NOT what goes on inside your mind as you contemplate doing something about it.

Remember, guys become very confused when you say or think one thing but act different. Concern yourself with telling men what causes you to act and you might find more men concerning with actions themselves.

Approaching or Meeting Men – Do you want to be approached? Who do you want to approach you? What should a guy say? What should he do?

Think about it constructively.

Sure you see a few guys who are “checking you out” but what would separate them in your eyes? We all know that if every guy who ever looked at you actually met you, you would NOT be attracted to all of them. So which guys do you WANT to approach you because you are interested in something more with them?

When it comes to meeting men and men meeting women there’s an obvious breakdown because of all the fears, misread signals, lack of confidence, sexual energy, assumptions made by guys, and assumptions made by women.

If we could past all that we might be able to determine the realism of approaching and solve this problem once and for all.

Relationships – How do you define them? Who should commit to who first? Should he be the one to take it to the next level? How long do you wait for a guy? Does that depend on the guy?

Get to the absolute truth about your relationships with men, what caused them to work or break.

Tell men your biggest concerns in relationships for the lucky chance men will begin to see your point.

We can not stress how important all this communication is as quoted by Christian Carter himself (my favorite dating coach for women) in 5 Steps You Can Use To Push His Secret Button For Better Communication

Somehow instead of seeing the good and the positive intentions you have, they see intense negative emotions that they can’t understand. (..)

And the WORST mistakes you can make here with a man I call the 4 Deadly Sins:

Assuming – that he knows what you want or expect
Begging – for him to “give you” what you want
Convincing – trying to make him feel the way you do
Bullying – bullying him into your way of thinking or feeling.

T

his page is to…

Give you the opportunity to tell men your secret confessions, your wants and needs without leaving it to him to interpret in his manly way.

Tell men what YOU believe are the rules of attraction, dating, relationships, and how you see the game playing and what the playing does to you emotionally.

Guys will listen, I’ll make sure of that one way or another. 🙂

7 comments… add one
  • Jay

    My relationship with my boyfriend is almost over I’m pregnant We just found out he has cheated on me mny times I forgave him An i guess I let it steam n side me an he wouldn’t let me talk to him about it to hear my feelings an So he wanted to have friends girls so I had guy friends he didn’t like that called me a cheater an he did try an express that he was jelious at that point I didn’t care about what he thought cuz he already cheated on me an didn’t wanna hear about it from me. So now he doesn’t wanna my text an wants anything to do with me. But Before this he was excited about the baby an he just left twn other day an said he will do what he wants when he wants I no thrs a big communication barrier,I need help from a mans point of view .

    • Peter White

      Jay,

      I don’t think a man’s point of view is what you need, it feels like you just need a human’s point of view. But if you insist… as a guy…

      He’s cheated on you many times. Accused you of cheating on him. AND seems to be leaving when it’s highly important to be or play some part in the future child’s life. In other words I didn’t read one thing from your comment which would make be believe you two will work it out and live a happy life together. Sure, it’s possible with work, but considering the state you will be in over the next months, it’s highly unlikely. PLEASE turn to your family and real friends and some public assistance for support because they can help you get through all this a little easier than this guy might.

      I’ve found that men cheat for several reasons and none of them EVER lead to a guy who just stops cheating. In other words, the reasons he cheats is more about the man and not the situation. I’m not saying, once a cheater, always a cheater BUT pretty close. I just hate using “all” statements.

      My girlfriend feels very strongly about men who cheat and she will not budge on her beliefs. If a man cheats, leave him immediately because he had a choice – to break it off if the relationship was failing or for whatever his reasons were yet he chose to hurt the woman he claims to love. When you put in it that perspective it really hits hard because this guy CHOSE to hurt you several times rather than be open and honest with you and deal with things like a real man can. Now is that the guy you want to “fix” things with? Think hard before you decide.

      For a little more on this I’ve pulled together a few things to help you understand the subject of his cheating and hopefully help you decided where you want to go from here and/or why this is all happening.

      Why Men Cheat and How to Fix It
      https://www.dialteg.org/why-men-cheat-and-how-to-fix-it/

      Is He Likely To Stray From The Relationship? Ten Reasons Why Men Cheat
      https://www.dialteg.org/likely-to-stray-reasons-why-men-cheat/

      Why A Guy Will Cheat On His Beautiful Girlfriend With A Far Less Attractive Woman
      https://www.whydoguys.com/why-guy-cheat-on-beautiful-girlfriend-with-less-attractive/

      Sorry for what you’re going through and I do hope it all works out for you,
      Pete

  • Madda

    Hey! Can you help me with a guy? I’m 16 years old and I need some advice

    • Peter White

      Sorry Madda, it’s not my place or specialty to help someone of your age. Plus it wouldn’t be right. Hopefully you’ll find someone more appropriate to help you.

      Pete

  • H.

    We all know men have ‘placeholders’ – women they have a girlfriend experience with until their ‘Game Changer’ woman arrives. Well, I’d like to ask you all to really re-consider this, as it can be truly devastating. I have just realised for certain that I have been a placeholder for a guy, and I’m now in therapy to help me deal with it, -why? Because this guy was actually, – so I thought, a friend, before all this happened and I believed that he truly cared me about me a person. He is foreign and lived in the UK for a year where we met. There was a clear attraction but he never made a move. Before he left he said he was scared of commitment and blamed the fact that I don’t eat meat, – even though I never tried to stop him from doing so. Then supposedly he regretted it, for months he was having therapy in his own country, got back in touch with me and was planning coming back to UK just as I by random chance got a job offer in his same country and city! I went there, we met up. He still couldn’t handle a relationship. Took me to a couple of his therapy sessions, then dumped me definitively about 3 months in. I have read plenty of dating advice and so never begged or tried to convince him to be with me, I supported his break up decision and tried to get on with my new life in this new country. I had plenty of friends and a very active social life, way more than him and it was his stomping ground. However he kept trying to worm his way back in, begging me to hang out with him as friends, taking me on day trips, eating with his family etc, finding reasons to see me every evening, buying me things, trying to fix my problems etc. I gave him time and attention because honestly I still loved him, and I thought he geniunely meant at friends, – since he made no attempt to touch me for 3 months. Also I’d asked him to not help me with things out of any sense of guilt or respnsibility, and he confirmed that wasn’t the reason. He just desperately wanted to spend time with me. But he would actually cry when I said I had other plans, so I gave him more time and he ramped it up again. Then one day argued with me and said we should go our separate ways. I was dumbfounded as far as I was concerned we were just friends, even though I was in love with him. That had been his decision. He discovered I’d been elsewhere, and was clearly not jealous. He then very half-assed, asked me for another chance and I said no, not right now. He never confirmed a relationship as official with me, but then began a physical relationship with me again. I thought that he must still love me, – since he was always literally crying in front of me about our breakup, and I thought he was doing all these things to prove himself to me. Then my post ended and I was supposed to go back to UK. I would have stayed for him, but he let me go! He said all his gestures were because he cared about me, that’s all, and that we’d only get tired of each other. He let me go! He even begged to let him take me to the airport! I said Hell no, of course. So basically, he was just using me all that time! And manipulating me by crying all the time and pretending to be confused about being in a relationship with me, so that even I thought he actually still wanted to be, when I was just trying to accept that he didn’t and move on with my life. I was nothing but a joke to him, even though I thought we had a close friendship underneath it all, so that he would have ethics about using me. But not so. I loved this person so deeply that this betrayal has now put me in therapy. Please don’t use women in this way, and especially NOT your friends, guys! Those women who have stood by you, let you be weak-ass in front of them without judging you, those you have promised you would never use, those who trusted you to be honest because you were friends. Please don’t treat those girls this way. The consequences can be devastating.

    • Peter White

      Thanks for sharing your story H. Nothing like this is easy to go through let alone share your story with me and my readers.

      Yes, I agree, some men do have “placeholders” and it’s never a good thing for those women.

      But also, some men think a woman is a “game changer” at first and then something comes up and they question their decisions. They end up flip flopping over and over again while they “figure things out” and in the mean time cause lots of hurt and drama along the way. As in your case. For these guys it’s tough because they actually believe a certain woman is their “one and only” and will make you believe it too. I’m not excusing their actions, I just know how hard it can be to know for sure if it’s actually happening or not. It happens to women too. We believe we’ve met the one and as time passes we begin to question our resolve or decision and use anything and everything to get out only to realize we still might be wrong… tough stuff.

      I think the main thing to take away from your story – in determining if a guy will begin or see you a a placeholder while he “figures things out” was said early on in your interaction with him and my advice is and will probably always be…

      If early on or in some time during the commitment stage a guy claims in one way or another that he is “scared of commitment” THAT would be the perfect time to walk away immediately and focus on finding or meeting men whose fears around women or commitment are much more in check or real.

      Yes, it’s true, lots of men and women are a little cautious about committing to someone, even a little scared. It’s only natural to be hesitant or question our feelings at certain stages HOWEVER when a man vocalizes FEAR as a way of breaking it off or using it as a lead in to break it off with a woman, then it’s definitely a clear signal of a guy who will never fully commit.

      I know this may not help you now, after the fact or damage has been done but hopefully it can lead you to “better” men in the future.

      Thanks again for sharing and the best of luck to you in the future,

      Pete

  • Noni

    Hi Peter,
    I met this guy a few weeks ago and he invited me to hang out with him. During the meet up he stated that he is very very shy and has a hard time knowing what to say that would make him not seem boring. Since the hang out we’ve seen each other multiple times with other people around and he has asked me to go walking with him in the park. We’ve been texting back and forth pretty regularly, and he asks about my likes and dislikes in phone conversations. He went on to say he finds me intriguing. Recently, the conversation has been really stilted. I haven’t texted him in hopes that he would reach out to me first so I don’t appear like I’m desperate for conversation. Is this the right way to go? Is push back common for shy guys?

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