When Holly was introduced to Colin 3 years ago , she believed they were ideal together . They shared the same light-hearted sense of humor and also loved the same movies and TV . Plus they both wanted kids in the next 5 years .
They even had the same favorite childhood story – The Velveteen Rabbit – a funny coincidence he frequently mentioned when people asked about how they met.
So when Colin all of a sudden broke up with Holly one rainy October day, she felt completely blindsided.
“I just don’t comprehend what changed how he felt ,” she sobbed.
“He had told me that he’d written down a checklist when he was a boy of the important things he desired in a girlfriend , and that I’d checked off every last one . Not only that, just a couple of weeks ago he was talking about singing lessons so he could sing to me at our wedding.”
Unfortunately , this story is far from unique.
According to dating and relationship expert Clayton Max, it’s not unusual for a male to suddenly pull away from a partner who appears perfectly suited for him .
“What a lot of women don’t realize ,” Max says “is it’s not about how well suited she is for him ‘theoretically ‘. She could tick all the boxes on his list, but he’ll still have moments of panic when it comes to moving the relationship forward.”
It’s because regardless of taking pride in how logical and rational they are, Max says ,
“Males don’t pick a partner based on the person who is the most rational choice for them. Rather , they pick the woman who makes them FEEL certain things.”
Max says that men are naturally more scared of commitment than women, yet their minds are pre-wired with a mechanism that overrides this concern with the ideal woman .
This mechanism is called The Infatuation Response, and when it’s activated, it literally shuts down the part of his mind that feels worried.
All of a sudden his thoughts of doubt are relaxed, he feels a sense of confidence about the woman, and he’s prepared to move mountains to be with her.
When choosing between a person who makes rational sense to him or one who’s activated his primal infatuation impulse, he will always choose the one that’s activated his infatuation reaction one hundred percent of the time.
So what are Max’s points for a woman that wants her man to commit deeply to her?
1. Take the situation the way it is.
A huge mistake women make, is wishing men were different than they are.
But he can no more control these emotions of uncertainty he has about long-term commitment than a woman can control her instincts toward commitment .
In fact, when he feels misunderstood for his indecision, it adds to the anxiety and sense of guilt he already feels, making him more likely to press the eject button instead of trying to figure things out .
When you acknowledge that this is simply the way men are hard-wired, and resist the urge to pressure him, it provides you space to concentrate on what YOU CAN DO to make him certain – triggering his infatuation reaction .
2. Don’t focus on trying to convince him.
Many women make the mistake of trying to be a guy’s ‘dream woman’, by exhibiting all the ‘sweetheart ‘ traits, like being a great listener, being loyal, attentive, generous, and passionate .
They’ll note out all the reasons they’re a perfect match, or they’ll simply attempt to find out what qualities he desires in a woman, so they can display them when he’s around.
Either way, they’re attempting to appeal to his ‘logical mind’, which in this situation is not in charge .
Women tend to do this time and again, despite the fact that this approach virtually never works, leaving them disappointed, and angry when the guy ends up leaving her for someone that has practically none of the characteristics he states he desires.
3. Concentrate on activating his infatuation instinct.
The only surefire way of getting him to commit with his entire heart, so he’s completely sure that she is the one for him, is to activate his infatuation impulse .
A guy’s infatuation instinct is turned on by very specific qualities in a woman.
Traits like curiosity, boundaries, and also unpredictability, which stir a sense of excitement and an intense desire to go after her .
Although most women try to show a man how devoted they are to him hoping that this is going to make him feel safe to give her his heart, this generally contributes EVEN MORE to the stress he feels on his shoulders, since at this moment, he’s more afraid of losing his freedom than losing her.
To learn more on exactly how to activate a man’s infatuation instinct , with exact scripts that do precisely that, watch this free video presentation.
In it, you’ll find out about the ’emotional tripwire’, which puts a man in infatuation mode, without him realizing why.
Why Men Choose Certain Women.
Have you ever wondered why a man will choose a woman with almost none of the qualities he’s looking for…
While rejecting one who has everything he says he wants?
It’s frustrating and leaves you wondering if he’s blind or stupid or maybe lying about what he really wants.
But the truth, most men have NO IDEA why they choose the women they do.
Which is why when you ask a guy what he wants in a partner, he’ll describe someone very different than the woman he ends up with.
Research into the male brain has discovered that men choose women based on ONE THING:
Whether or not he’s INFATUATED with you.
If you can’t trigger infatuation in a guy…
No amount of trying to CONVINCE him how wonderful you are will make him choose you But…
If you CAN make him infatuated…
By tapping into his primal infatuation instinct…
He’ll completely lose control over you…
And will go to desperate, even embarrassing lengths to secure your love.
Researchers at Rutgers University recently discovered an emotional tripwire in the female brain…
Once you set off this tripwire…
It wakes up a powerful urge inside a man…
Which completely focuses his attention on you…
Wiping all ‘logical’ concerns out of his mind
And making him ABSOLUTELY SURE you’re the one for him.
That’s why it doesn’t matter if you’re his ‘perfect girl’…
Or if you have all the qualities he THINKS he wants…
You just need to set off this tripwire…
And he’s yours.
Simple as that.