I performed “Fearless” by Pink Floyd on my all too difficult to play 12 string… That thing was a beast.
I was a little nervous but the song’s relatively easy to sing and play so I was pretty confident I could pull it off.
There was only about a hundred people there. Just one mic for my voice and one for the guitar. The place was cozy but well lit. No darkness to hide and no drunken people to accept any form of musical entertainment.
If you ask me it was routine for a musician. Simple as it could be…
Get up and play two or three songs then make room for the next up and coming act.
I did it for the experience and for the crowd.
No matter how large or small the venue was, sharing my gift was an emotional experience I quite literally lived for. I didn’t practice for hours on end just so I could hear myself.
One line from the song, “Fearlessly the idiot faced the crowd… Smiling.” meant a lot to me.
After all, having the courage to do what I did didn’t seem to come easy to many.
The fear of screwing up, the sweaty nervous palms, the fear of begin booed on stage, and the absolute fear of looking like an “idiot” I’m sure stopped many people from furthering their musical career.
But not me.
I suppose my lack of creative talent and non-acceptance to perform music like it was a job stopped me from advancing. More about that later.
So how is it one man could overcome such a common fear a performing in public, but when it came time to approach a woman, failed miserably almost every time?
In music – almost everything was pre-programmed into my act. I knew what to do, what to sing, and what to play.
I had a definite beginning and a pre-selected ending. It was easy to practice the skill until I got it right and then to practice it some more.
The strange part was, no matter how much I worked on my pieces – I was bound to screw up something or miss a note. Forget a word or two. Even completely lose a whole verse.
Yet I was trained almost from birth to keep going. The show must go on!
Once marching along banging away on the snare drum, the harness fell apart and I was left holding it with one hand and doing what I could with the other hand.
Nothing and I mean nothing stopped me.
I even fell over backwards off the risers while playing the short drum “fill” from “Purple Rain.” But I got up and finished the song anyways…
So why can’t you “sort-of” pre-program this whole approaching women thing?
What if you knew exactly how to start a conversation with any woman, anytime, anywhere?
What if you knew, even if you screwed up a few words, no woman in her right mind would suddenly and publicly reject you – just because you approached her?
What if you could “fearlessly” face the crowds of women you see everyday, use an “idiot-proof” system like I did, and still smile?
Of course you could memorize hundreds of pick up lines turning each one into “conversation starters” and not just an intention to pick her up.
Would that make you fearless approaching women? ( Wouldn’t hurt your confidence that’s for sure.)
But would it be fun?
Would you be enjoying yourself?
And would she be having fun with you when you’re not really enjoying yourself?
It’d be like you’re doing some kind of job.
Listen – a big reason I’m here today and not on some stage somewhere, is not entirely because of a lack of talent, or because I failed to perform the “popular” shit…
It’s because a few important elements separated me from the other performers which meant certain success for them and boring stage performances from me.
The guys who did it right were having fun. They got the crowd into it. They were just a little different than the last act.
They were the so-called “idiots facing the crowd – smiling” that I wasn’t.
Approaching women can feel like you’re on stage.
Like everyone is watching you and waiting for you to screw up. It can make your palms sweaty and you heart race.
And if you don’t have a “system,” something to fall back on to help you through that first moment when the words fly out of your mouth – well then you’re more than likely not even going to bother.
The moment when it’s time to meet your potential date will pass quickly leaving you with more doubt and even more fear making the “next time” even harder.
By then most of us don’t bother.
Either the fears too great – or we lose all will to have to live with another public rejection.
So even when you do screw up the middle a little – you’re going to be okay.
You want to treat this whole “approaching girls” thing the same way those other guys who succeeded on stage did…
Make sure it’s fun. Be playful with her.
It’s about being different. It’s about being a guy they’ve never met before.
You’re not really “performing” for HER anyways.
It’s not about what you say, it’s about being fun.
Develop that mind-set when you go out and meet women, and you will become the guy women can’t resist.
Learn to get out of your head so nothing stops you from the approach.
Stop thinking so much about what to say and train yourself to become “fearless” in any given moment.
That’s what the fearless code is going to do for you…
It will teach you how simple it is to walk up to any woman and start a conversation!
When you become fearless you can do what you want, say what you want, and never wonder about what to say.
You won’t be just another boring performance she’s seen before – you’ll be the guy who interacts with her, makes her smile, and naturally enjoys every moment of it.
Isn’t it time you fearlessly face the crowds of women just dying to meet you…