What Goes On Inside His Mind – From The Moment Of Approach And Beyond


Sometimes the moment lasts forever and sometimes he just plain misses it. Either way the fear of approach is a little too real.

Asking a girl out…

I‘ve never been hit by a car but I imagine that long second right before the ton of metal smashes through our body…

How time seems to stand still.

How we’re unsure if we’re even going to feel it or if it will be an instant death. Life and then POOF – blank.

How we have the time to think about what we’ve done inches before we’re knocked away writhing in pain and just maybe, how all the circumstances we’ve lived in our lives up until that point brought us to this one fateful and life changing event.

Close call…

The car missed and left my heart pounding.

Felt my hands clutch my chest like I was literally trying to hold back the muscle that was so desperately trying to get out. It’s rapid “thumping” was a sure sign it wanted out.

She was a little lanky but after a long day of work – seeing her “cuteness” coming at me, blonde hair in a pony tail, working all day glasses, a faceless skirt putting the attention on her long legs; a top which revealed a certain endowment above but very casually displayed… She must be a business woman but who cares.

We really don’t care what she does for a living, do we?

We only seem to care how we bring home the money and how she’s going to want that information all too quickly.

Anyways – she didn’t seem too interested in meeting a random guy at the market.

Dodged her eyes away and walked quickly past.

Maybe she was married or engaged or dating some stud who takes her places I never bother trying because I claim to be too busy.

Close calls are cool though. That’s for sure.

Exhilarating without the added pressure of actually saying something.

No dodging the metal and glass which would have surely cut me in pieces leaving me open to the peering eyes of the “taken”. Damn people already been hit and survived. They might think it’s funny. They might think it’s sad and pathetic.

Screw the empathy… who wants that.

Second Chances…

Brunette. Sweet looking. It’s chilly in here.

She carrying a basket which is half full. Definitely not shopping for two.

It’s a good sign she’s single and waiting for another “shopping for the lonely” to sweep her off her feet.

Have to keep my eyes out for the dangerous driver. I know “it” has it in for me.

Look to the left – no sight of it. Glance to the right – Whew! Clear to cross the street…

Wait – What was I shopping for? Is this weird? Do I really need one of those or am I creepily approaching acting like I need another freaking Papaya when I’ve never bought one before.

Screw this – just do it – ask her something. Anything!!!

Stop staring at the peaches man.

Okay – no car crash coming. Heart rates quick but manageable. I look like shit but who cares. I can’t see myself anyways. We’re here buying dinner and not at some freaking club in an under-priced suit that doesn’t fit me right anyways….

Okay…. Look up man.

WAIT!!!! She’s gone.

A faint lingering smell of some sweet perfume which I hope wasn’t the old lady who just left. Hate to think I’m smelling her and not Miss Brunette of my dreams or at least just single and attractive. Doesn’t really matter at this point anyways.

She’s moved on without me.

Another close call avoided. I win! Fuckin’ Loser!

The Approach…

Meeting women should NOT be this tough!

Online’s looking pretty good right now.

Who’s to say joining up to fifteen different dating sites and beefing up my Facebook profile or Twittering to the world isn’t a great way to meet women.

Hmmm… maybe if I’d could socialize a ton of friends they’ll bring the women to me.

Better yet – DO IT ALL!

They’ll have to approach ME.

No pressure.

No car crashes.

No nervous jabber or sweaty palms or the painful PUBLIC REJECTION.

If you’ve ever wondered what goes on in a guy’s mind before the approach, maybe after he misses his chance…

Well I do hope my little story explains it all in a clever way.

The fear is real – the nervousness is clear.

I’m not saying it has to be this way.

Merely pointing out that for lots of single guys trying to meet all you single women, expect him to be a little off his game because whereas some men are really good at it – most WANT to be met half way.

Ladies – If you want to meet more single men – slow down, enjoy the ride, smile, invite them into your world.

Guys – if you want to meet more women – slow down, look both ways before crossing the street, smirk confidently, invite her for a quick conversation.

When time DOES stand still for both of the sexes… well that’s a good thing, isn’t it?

Not being sure what’s coming next is kind of exciting because you never really know when the right person will come along.

You never know when all the circumstances which led your life to that very first interaction, conversation, or smashing of two personalities is going to be something you’ll never forget.

From the moment of approach to the charming way you ask each other out – chances like this are NOT to be feared – they’re meant to be explored.


Peter White. Intelligent ideas with a simple goal… Turn you into a more attractive man with my Nice Guys Approach to Attraction. The Approach… Dedicated to Meeting and Approaching the opposite sex. The Approach – For random updates please visit my Facebook “Fan” Page Join Me on Facebook – DialteG tm or Like my Facebook page for women – And not lastly… Introducing, for women only, Why Do Guys…? 😉 Thank you for everything and all your support.

1 comment… add one
  • Amber Gardner

    Nah, I know this. I haven’t had a date in 14 years. I’ve studied enough articles to get inside a mans head. I see when a man looks at me in the store, and I think, IF I dated, I would go up to him myself because he clearly doesn’t have the nerve.

    I think my approach would be….walk straight up to the guy, look him dead in the eye, point at him, and say, “You single?” I could get away with that unlike a man because I’m a woman and nobody expects me to try anyway lolll I think I could take a rude rejection too.

Leave a Comment