You say that how a woman is dressed doesn’t make a difference in how a guy becomes attracted to a girl in this article but in another article you say if a girl allows guys to see more they will imagine her nude, and that is does make a difference in attraction. So which one is it? Because if I’m at the beach in a bikini that’s what guys gonna see first.
It does make a difference on how people see you.
Can you clarify that?
Hi Tiffany and good point. Let me see if I can get to the bottom of it.
A man’s initial attraction is a sight thing. That’s a well-known fact. We see – we feel it… or not.
If a woman is dressed where most of her body is out there showing or baring lots of skin, it becomes easy for a guy to imagine her naked and so that’s where his mind will most likely go AND the “sexual” part of attraction becomes more prominent.
That’s not to say if a guy sees a woman hiding everything or dressed-down that he won’t imagine her naked but you must admit the sexual edge (depending on his culture, age, and sexual experience) won’t be as great.
Part of it also has to do with his imagination.
Obviously the men with the greater ability to strip a woman’s clothes off in his mind when she’s barely showing anything can have him doing it with any woman he sees no matter what she’s wearing that day. Making it more likely he’ll indulge in his fantasies.
If you’re dressed in a bikini it requires no imagination at all for a man to picture you naked which opens up every guy who cares to do it or finds him himself doing it. I’m not going to guess how many do it – I’m sure it’s a lot but I don’t have the actual numbers for you.
(I’ll release a poll to guys and depending on how many take it, when it’s done I’ll post up the numbers for you… deal? If you are in contact with lots of guys on social media you can send them to my twitter poll here: When you see a woman you’re attracted to – do you imagine her naked? OR through Facebook: DiaLteG TM Post.)
This is what I wrote in the article:
“It does NOT matter how attractive you think you are at that stage (mostly) or how you’re dressed, where you’re going what you’re doing, who you’re with, whether you’re married, engaged, in a relationship, NOTHING makes a difference.”
In most men’s minds they can be attracted to your body type – as in ass or breasts or legs – and for lots of men that’s where their eyes will either start or end up on.
BUT your face, specifically your EYES is where it all starts as we’re sort-of programmed to make eye contact as part of the human mating ritual.
Which means HOW you dress is NOT always the most important piece of what triggers our sight attraction with the understanding of a few certain variables:
A lesser confident guy will try to hide his stares and is less likely to make eye contact with you which might make him go for the body first.
If you just walked past, he looked up, and got a glimpse of your ass this can also stir his attraction BUT his instinct will be to see your face before he’s fully feeling attracted to you.
In that case WHAT you’re wearing can make a difference as in wearing baggy clothes that don’t show off your ass or anything clothing which may hide your figure or shape.
If you’re in a bikini showing lots of skin the eyes might come last because of the distance factor. It’s easier to take notice of a full body from further away than it is to see your eyes; so the body comes first – depending on the guy and the situation the eyes will follow.
For example: A single guy might try to make eye contact where a married or committed man might avoid eye contact because as stated above – eye contact is the natural start of the mating ritual and a man who is in a relationship will feel unsettled or uneasy making eye contact with a woman he’s attracted to for hopefully obvious reasons.
Now you should have a basic idea of the differences and a little closer to answering your question in full.
What it really comes down to is:
ATTRACTION – finding a woman attractive based on an instinctive gut feeling or reaction to any kind of visual (or sometimes aural – what he hears) stimulus can and does happen regardless of what you’re wearing if the guy can at least see your FACE and EYES.
The rest – as in your body – well if that is seen first attraction can still happen; based on what you’re wearing, what you’re doing, where you’re doing it, who he’s with, what he’s into, if he someone’s boyfriend or husband, etc… are situational things and all will cause a guy to react a certain way BUT attraction IS attraction.
What also changes based on those circumstances is the strong sexual urges a man feels towards you.
Sure, attraction is a sexual thing but what you’re wearing AND what he’s into can engage more of a sexual urge inside the guy which may or may not override just your typical being attractive to him.
Obviously if you’re half-naked you would expect it to be more sexual for lots of guys.
Not all though, because I guarantee there are plenty of guys who become very sexually aroused by a woman who is fully clothed in whatever “floats his boat” or fantasies he has conjured up or developed in his life experiences with women.
What’s been covered so far is physical attraction and with guys there’s more to his attraction and what drives him than sights and sounds.
As a man progresses from the physical and beyond he experiences another level of attraction which is his THOUGHT process.
This is where communication, selection, connection, his self-esteem, his confidence, his past experiences, etc… and how it’s all related to YOU comes into play.
You can find two men who appear similar in many respects to the physical attraction part progress to the next level in completely two different ways.
There are too many variables to mention so I’ll relate it to your experience with wearing a bikini at the beach.
Take two men who notice you and feel attracted to you by sight alone.
One will feel extremely attracted to you and NEVER allow it to go further just because of how you look, what you’re wearing, and how strong sexually is feeling towards you.
While another will fully engage you. He might even approach you and get to know you. He might get to the next level with you or just choose or opt for sex based on his sexual urges and the next level won’t matter to him.
The two very same men can react or ACT entirely differently if you were to meet on a bus where you were not dressed up or showing any skin at all.
Partly because the sexual edge is taken off the guys and partly because of how men deal with women when they are strongly physically attracted to your body.
Take the same two guys and they see you not dressed up or showing skin but you’re getting out of an expensive sports car and walking towards them.
Now the sexual edge is less but you have two different presumptions the guys make about you – with regards to WHO you are because in one – you’re riding a bus and in the other you’re driving an expensive car.
How they proceed or be willing to act and make the second stage more probable comes down again to THEM and is entirely up to their life-experience, choices in women, etc..
The two forms or stages of attraction is a main difference.
What you’re wearing or what you’re doing or where you meet or see each other can affect a guy in a way which is above and beyond physical or sexual attraction which will either cause him to act or not act, react or not react, despite him being triggered to feel attracted to you.
Let’s wrap this up…
Regardless of what you’re wearing a guy can feel a physical attraction towards you.
That’s what I call his FIRST stage attraction which may vary from guy to guy but there are more common elements than differences.
What you’re wearing can bring about more sexual urges and cause him to undress you in his mind or imagine you naked. If you’re showing lots of skin or the obvious shape of your body then it’s very likely his mind will go there.
“The truth is, men are only turned on by a small set of variables that are biologically hardwired into their brains. The most powerful of these variables are the ones that differentiate women from men. Tomboys make for good friends but rarely have men longing for a special kind of committed relationship with them.
In other words, your femininity is sexy. You’ll want to fully embrace all the aspects of your body that differentiate you from a man.”
When happens to men after is called the SECOND stage of attraction and what you’re wearing, what you’re doing, etc… becomes more relevant and will affect a guy one way or another as to him proceeding or moving forward.
There are way too many variables to mention how or why men get to this next stage so I’ll mention the very basics:
Who he is, his beliefs, his experience with women, where he sees you, what he sees you doing, who you are, your beliefs, who you’re with, and yes there’s more… will lead him there or not.
What you’re wearing at first plays its part – that’s for sure – but the overall importance is debatable because you can (with the right communication skills and attitude) override his initial resistance and help him get there.
OR you can (all too easily) STOP him from going there too.
There are literally thousands of publications to show you how to make it extremely more likely a guy will go or get to that second stage because once he’s there, that’s when the dating/commitment/relationship stages comes into play… big time… making the second stage attraction a very important and CRITICAL step in the process.
Check out the sidebar for some of my favorites. They allowed me to post some of their articles you can browse through along with the download listed above in the block quote.
For today’s “episode” of the Secret Dirty Truth About Men (sign up below for more and a very interesting ebook I wrote on the silent man) I’m going to not-so-casually suggest Natural & Lasting Attraction by Christian Carter (That’s the link to 16 of his articles posted here.)
My reasons are simple:
You have the physical attraction. It would seem you have no problem attracting men that way. Which is great and all.
But to really “attract” a guy you must connect with him in a way which makes the second stage of attraction happen for him just as easy and natural as the physical part does for him.
AND it must be done in a way which also leads to as he states “A Deep Emotional Bond” because that’s where relationships and commitments are truly made and flourish too.
Despite the common belief that men are only into looks and beauty, most REAL men want something more from a woman before they’re made to feel ready to take the next step AND the next step after that… long-term commitment.
You must realize that your beauty or sexiness is never enough for that to happen or else it would be easy to attract a great guy, right?
And that’s exactly what you’re going to get… the MORE part.
In the first section (The Science of Attraction) you learn about the two types of attraction and exactly why the physical part isn’t enough. Just knowing that fact isn’t enough doesn’t help you so learning WHY there’s a difference is something you don’t want to miss.
PLUS you learn about the all-important chemistry and connection too – which is where the emotional bond between you and him happens.
There are three more sections and when you go to link you can read more about them: Natural & Lasting Attraction
The second section is about learning What Men Really Need, the third is Creating An Unshakable Relationship, and the fourth is just a great add-on from lots of experts to truly get you ready to make it happen between you and a guy:
Making dating fun. Using movement, body language, and sensuality to create attraction. Rules for communicating with men effectively.
Plus the top qualities men look for in a woman.
All will certainly help you move from a physical attraction to something much more substantial and as it’s written… lasting.
The KEY to making it all happen is YOU and HOW you communicate to men and that’s exactly what you’re going to get when you pick it up.
If you don’t like it or if you’re not ready or willing to put it all for good use for you – return it. It’s just that simple.
I stand by Christian’s work above and beyond most others because:
He’s a guy just like me. We’re alike in more ways than just just being men.
I’ve come up with so pretty amazing attraction stuff on men over the last ten years AND I’ve certainly shared some secret stuff along with my upfront and honest advice. Most of which has been highly appreciated and useful too. (Even though I admit when a woman learns something from me, I learn just as much from them.)
And the strange part is… aside from a few gems I’ve only released to private members or close friends, whenever I think I’ve found some amazing clue to attracting men – seems like he’s beat me to it.
Which is cool and all – I’ll shake his hand PLUS he allows me to promote and sell his wonderful works and gives me a commission on everything not returned. So it’s a win for men…
AND even even bigger win for you too.
Check it out: Natural & Lasting Attraction.
If you’re not sure sign up for his newsletter here first – it’s free and I’ll bet you’ll be amazed by his words.
Lastly – final conclusion – I PROMISE.
Men generally have two stages of attraction. The first is the physical part which is beyond their control. They see (sometimes hear) and it’s triggered.
The second stage is where it all happens IF you want something more from a man and the key to making that happen is to communicate in such a way that it NATURALLY happens so it feels like the first stage to him… beyond his control.
With so many variables and ways the second part can either happen or not (up to and including who he is inside) it’s best to focus on that while maintaining the look you feel best suits you and makes you feel physically attractive and wonderfully exciting inside.
That’s where you’ll find Natural & Lasting Attraction.
Hope you enjoyed today’s episode and you found the answer you were looking for about men, physical attraction, and more.
Your guy friend,