Guys will ALWAYS be hot and cold.
Just like yourself, you can not keep the intensity high because it’s emotionally and physically draining. Often it becomes overwhelming and we must step back to gather our thoughts and re-energize.
You’re getting mixed signals because he’s not ready to move forward. He’s using this time to enjoy it when he can and he’s also using it to decide where he wants things to go.
Maybe he’ll waste your time and never move forward.
Maybe he won’t.
BUT one thing is sure:
A terrible pattern is emerging.
When he’s hot, you feel like he’s into you and things are moving along.
When he’s cold you feel like he’s pulling away.
Sometimes you feel like you’re wasting your time BUT at the same time you can’t help but to feel attracted to him. You’re not willing to give up on him until he makes it clear to you one way or another.
Which I can tell you from my vast experience of men, they will rarely (if ever) make it clear to you WHEN they’re NOT CLEAR themselves where they want things to go or what they want.
Let’s remove the mixed signals as a basis for a decision and look at the real problems (or issues) I’m seeing with you dating this guy.
NUMBER ONE: He told you he would never love a woman again.
NUMBER TWO: He’s been hurt in a previous relationship and is acting hesitant because of it.
He’s hurt, scared, emotionally confused, making quick assessments about the future, AND he’s looking towards empathy and for someone who will nurture him back to health.
Not really what I would call a good start of a relationship and whether he knows that or not, doesn’t mean he’s not feeling it.
I’m sure he’s attracted to you and finds you beautiful. He’s singled you out for a reason and was vocal about it when he said he’s never met a woman like you before.
When a guy says he’ll never love a woman again you’re more likely to continually seek his love. You’ll be left waiting for him to finally say it. Except you won’t know if he means it or not if he finally does say it.
Sometimes he’ll act like he loves you and on other days he won’t. More confusion and more questions than answers.
When a guy has been hurt in a previous relationship, (and tells you this to hold you back or used as an excuse to not get too close) he WILL have trust issues. He will question himself, other’s motives, and will have more of a tendency to act fearful and with restraint.
I’m not one to just blatantly tell you you’re wasting your time with him.
However, based on the information you shared about him not feeling he can love another woman and a previous relationship left him a little scarred and hurt – How do you think things will play out?
Thanks for your question Lisa.
Your guy friend,
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