Where Are All The Real Men? This Is How You Can Find The One For You

Real Man Family Where

Written by Peter White – Creator and writer at Why Do Guys…?

A big frustrated complaint I hear from women that have learned how to attract quality men is…

“Where are the real men? Every guy I meet ends up being below my standards or at least below what you (me) expect my standards to be. Where am I supposed to go to meet a guy like that? Where’s my PERFECT guy?”

It’s as if I have personally eliminated a large percentage of “date-able” men.

It’s as if I’ve doomed any woman I have given advice to only one or two dates with a guy before ruling out yet another relationship with  him.

Maybe it was a guilty moment or maybe it was a deep urge to give great advice but I thought hard about this so…

I wanted an answer.

I wanted to figure out exactly where women can go to meet higher quality men.

A part of me also wanted to send all the men I teach who have excelled to a meeting place where women can finally meet these up and coming quality dudes.

Yeah, I said dudes.

Logically speaking it’s simple right – go where the type of man you want is.

In other words if you’re not looking for a guy who likes to take extreme risks don’t take up skydiving or mountain climbing.

If you’re looking for an intelligent man who enjoys books and hanging out, just go to a coffee shop or library.

But we all know how pure logic works when it comes to the social dynamics between men and women.

Or how about a “real” man does not necessarily have to do anything in particular.

Just because we’re found in a social area does not mean any of us know anything more about being a real man than someone else does.

Therefore…

Your real man might be in a place you would never even expect.

Simply put, meeting more men only increases the odds but it does not dictate the outcome.

Let’s “crunch the numbers.”

I (and many other experts) have quoted 10 or less of every hundred guys knows what is necessary to attract incredible women. Something I explain in my book,

“Understanding Men Made Simple” which you can read about and pick up to Why Do Guys…?

8 off that list has the skills firmly in his grasp to turn you on and attract you.

Half of those men you probably won’t get along with or are not willing to settle down just yet.

They’re still playing the field and haven’t met THE ONE for them yet either.

Now I’m willing to bet half of the last four are already in a relationship, married, or just might not be interested in you.

That leaves 2 guys.

Is it then right of me to ask you to date one hundred guys?

Oh yeah, make sure you keep the two “real men” close by.

So in one year that’s roughly one date every three days and where the hell do you find the time to do that?!!!!

It almost makes you want to give up dating entirely and just settle for the guy who at least cares enough and is “train-able” to your needs and desires.

Is it right for me to ask women to disqualify men, that is if they want to avoid having one failed relationship after another?

And what about all the men I show how to disqualify you quickly.

Following that logic above if we filled a room with one hundred men and one hundred women, only 4 people would be suitable for a long-term relationship.

With all the bad and negative junk… it then stands to reason:

Maybe you and I are looking at this problem of hooking up long-term with a real man from the wrong perspective.

Let’s ask this question again to ourselves…

Where Are All The Real Men?

Personally I’m not satisfied with the answer in my head that there is a PLACE any woman can go, to meet him. I’ve figured out a great system you can use to narrow down the field and make it easier on you – that’s in this post:

Advice on How and Where To Meet A Guy, Getting Out Of Your Own Way

Then again I’ve enjoyed the skill or the ability of being able to rule out 98% of the women I meet.

Maybe it’s a guy thing but learning how to attract and get the dates of a hundred women and then having the courage to nicely reject many of them through honestly is a learned skill I will always treasure.

Below is what I recently wrote the woman who last posted this question to me and I believe it will help ease some of your stress too.

“Your new life has given you opportunities most women would die for. Not only the ability to size up a man, flirt with him sexually, but also the strength to say, “You know I’m just not going there with you.”

You know as well as I do way too many women get stuck in a relationship and are always trying hard to make it work, and the longer they’re in it, the harder it becomes to find themselves and to get out.

You have a new gift.

Use it wisely young lady.

And teach other women what you know because they might need it.”

I don’t plan  on getting into a philosophical discussion with you about “enjoying the ride” or to stop thinking about the outcome, or even to perhaps lower your standards to find a “reasonable” real man.

I do that here so if you interested, give it a read:

Meeting or Attracting Men is Easy For You So Why Are You Still Single?

One whose tiny faults you find can be managed.

I’m not even going to tell you there is not a place you can sit down and enjoy whatever your favorite drink is and suddenly the quality men will be beckoning at your feet.

Nope.

The best way to handle this problem and find your own personal solution is to propose to women everywhere who may have found a real men… to tell you where.

Tell you how they did it.

Tell you what made him a real man and what separated him from the rest.

So yeah – ask around if you know another woman who has found her real man.

Then I propose to any woman who has NOT be able to find their “real man” to tell us your gut reaction to where you believe you’ll find that perfect guy for you.

  • Where do you believe YOUR man is hiding?
  • Was he in the past?
  • Do you regret letting that one guy get away?
  • Do you disqualify men for trivial reasons?
  • And why do you rule out so many relationships because of those reasons?
  • Are you scared of getting hurt?
  • Are you scared you can not get out easily if it turns out badly?
  • Do you invest so much of yourself to each and every man you “bed” down with or “date” the mere prospect of living and escaping another failure stops you from trying?
  • Do you bore easily with every guy you entered a relationship with?
  • As your interest goes down so does the excitement of those first four months…so you constantly keep the level of intensity up going from man to man claiming no one is good enough for you?

The answer to where all the real men are lies somewhere in the honest answers to the questions above and more because…

There is not a place you can go, but a place you must be inside, that holds the solution to finding your real perfect man.

Granted, most men fail to capture your heart just the same as most women fail to capture my heart or win me over.

And yes, fulfilling relationships that last forever do not magically appear on the outside of us.

They happen from within us and can not be found “somewhere over the rainbow”.

I’m a real man.

I was not perfect yesterday and I won’t be perfect tomorrow but I’m perfect today.

You can find me here for a fraction of time in YOUR life today but I might be gone tomorrow.

The place I’m at varies based on my daily schedule but the “real man” you’re looking for is always inside you (no i’m not talking about your masculine self) … if you ask the right questions to yourself I believe you’ll find him.

What do you think?

I’ll now propose a few ways to help you find yourself and in turn make finding HIM more of a reality for you:

FIRST:

Make a clear definition of what a real man is and write it down, talk to your friends about him, get on my why do guys Facebook group and bring the topic up – ASK what is a REAL man?

I’ll approve your membership as quickly as I can.

SECOND:

Figure out what’s been going wrong by answering the questions I asked of you above:

  • Where do you believe YOUR man is hiding?
  • Was he in the past?
  • Do you regret letting that one guy get away?
  • Do you disqualify men for trivial reasons and why do you rule out so many relationships because of it?
  • Are you scared of getting hurt?
  • Are you scared you can not get out easily if it turns out badly?
  • Do you invest so much of yourself to each and every man you date the mere prospect of living and escaping another failure stops you from trying?
  • Do you bore easily with every guy you entered a relationship with or date?
  • As your interest goes down does the excitement of those first four months…so you constantly keep the level of intensity up going from man to man claiming no one is good enough for you?

Explore EVERY aspect of why YOU believe you’ve not found him OBJECTIVELY. Don’t just come up with excuses or blame men – go DEEP and look at it from a perspective that is clearly objective and unbiased.

THIRD:

Read my post to set you up to meeting more men you’d WANT to spend some time with and follow the advice I left for you there.

Advice on How and Where To Meet A Guy, Getting Out Of Your Own Way

Now that you’re closer to YOUR definition of a real man, now that you’ve explored why it hasn’t happened for you yet, and now that you’re set up to start meeting more men naturally with no pressure of dating and or finding a relationship…

FOURTH:

Learn how to match up with the RIGHT guy for you through YOURSELF.

You’re someone – you have habits, goals, passions, etc…

He’s out there with his habits, goals, and passions too BUT that doesn’t guarantee a match up with YOUR definition of a real man.

This is the tough part but I know you can handle it; PLUS after you’ve gone through it a few times you’ll be far more equipped to not only determine what guy is right for you – you’ll have the skill of figuring out where he is NOT hiding from you…

It’s called Finding Keepers. It was written by Dr. Randi Gunther Ph.D from Heroic Love.

Dr. Randi breaks down you and any guy you wish to explore into 12 personal characteristics that reliably predict long-term relationship happiness.

Click here to learn how it’s done and how you can do it yourself minus the headaches – Finding Keepers.

FIFTH:

It’s probably the most time-consuming part but if you make it fun AND you’re doing it with guys who are closer to the perfect guy for you, I believe you’ll find it much more rewarding and worth your time…

You must DATE MORE MEN… period!

You now know EXACTLY what you’re looking for in a man by exploring your definition of him and your definition of yourself.

You know what’s gone wrong in the past so you avoid making the same mistakes or doing the same thing in the past which didn’t get you anywhere.

You know how to put yourself in more positions everyday to meet lots of qualified “real” men for you… naturally.

AND – You have an easy formula to match yourself up to lots of men so you’re not wasting all your time and energy and love dating the wrong guys.

If you’re still not sure how many dates you need to go on or even why you should be doing it, these will help you see the purpose AND the benefits of dating more men:

Why You Need To Date Many guys To Find Your One.

That’s an article by Rori Raye that is posted here at Meet him, Attract him.

Her absolutely brilliant plan is called Circular Dating and is designed specifically to help you out in all the areas covered today plus show you exactly how to find your prefect REAL man.

That’s a wonderful program which you can read more about here:

Click Here to Learn About Targeting Mister Right – Finding A Fulfilling & Lasting Relationship

Lastly…

A GREAT way to help accomplish everything here today is go ONLINE with the help of someone qualified in writing your profile, to messaging guys, to even the first date and beyond.

Evan Marc Katz got his business started in 2003 is his book, “I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating” – and now he’s a successful coach and helped lots of women in Finding the One Online and is still going strong today because his advice works amazing well.

The main reason I’m suggesting online and Evan is because when you do the online thing to find YOUR real guy you must go through everything that was covered today or else you probably won’t have much luck.

You have to explore what you’re looking for, mistakes you’ve made in the past, making sure you match up correctly, and of course – dating lots of men while enjoying it too.

Here’s the link again when you’re ready to go in the online direction:

Click here for more info on: Finding the One Online

AND here’s a short article he’s given me to explain a little bit to you: How to Keep Momentum Alive With the New Guy You’re Dating which is located here at Meet & Attract Him.

The quick conclusion…

When you have things relatively and competently covered on your end BUT you’re still having trouble finding, meeting, and dating a REAL guy – I understand how frustrating it can be.

The time and effort you’ve spent SHOULD pay off but unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way.

In today’s article I’ve mentioned a lot of new (for some) concepts which I believe can change it all for you and HELP you track him down.

BUT first you have to know WHO he is or your definition of a REAL man.

Then you must objectify what you’ve been doing to finding him so you can set up a solid plan which will benefit you the most as quickly as possible.

During all this it’s certainly helpful to know what guys you match up with the best so you’re not wasting your time TRYING to make something work with a guy. Just because he’s “get it going on” doesn’t mean he’s a good match for you.

All this can be achieved with the help of my posts above AND one or more of these designed specially for you:

We’ve come long way today and I do sincerely hope today’s post will prove to be more than just insight into problems like this but offer a REAL solution so you can get right started on finding the REAL guy who is out there also looking for you.

If You Liked It - Please Pass It On and Share With Your Friends