Why Do Some Guys Try Way Too Hard?


Ever wonder why some guys will do anything to be with you – but the right thing. When men do the same thing over and over again, what does it mean?

He’d be pretty cool if he wasn’t trying so hard to please you.

You might even give him a chance but it only seems like he wants to get in your pants.

He’s borderline superficial but hey, aren’t all guys bent on getting sex anyways… So why does he try so hard when if you like him, and if things work out – you’re going to give it to him anyways?

He doesn’t understand you like sex just as much as he does and if he would just stop thinking about it for ten seconds – you might be able to connect with him.

Let me tell you a little about some of the things I use to do…

I tried to being the “clown” to get noticed. Making crude jokes hoping (you) would like me. Hell I even studied comedy for a while just to learn how to make people laugh.

I tried dressing up and every time a woman would give me a sincere compliment I would run with it as far as to change my whole “wardrobe” just to please her or the next one.

I would align myself with the “cool” crowd and befriend each and every one of them – just so I could make you believe I was one of them.

I attempted to steer every conversation sexually hoping to better guess your response to liking me. In a way I was even wishing it would turn you on enough to make a move on me.

I tried anything and everything short of a real “friendly” request to run naked because it was a cool thing to do.

Now don’t tell me you have not tried too hard to do something, anything, just to make it work.

I’ve known women who would try five “fad” diets a years hoping to shed those last ten pounds she didn’t like about herself.

I’ve known women to change their hair color many times hoping they would finally like the last one. Only to change it again when they felt it wasn’t working for them.

I’ve known women to beg, plead, and offer themselves and give anything he wanted to just one guy – if he would just stop cheating on her.

So I’m guessing there’s something in your life you’ve tried way too hard and yet still never got he results you were looking for.

And it was like something was driving you.

Like you couldn’t help yourself.

You just kept pushing and pushing and pushing the same old button when it clearly wasn’t working…

I once got locked out of my apartment just before work. I needed to get back in quickly and begged my landlord to save me.

When he showed up out from his pocket came a key ring that made the high school janitor’s key ring look like a broken key rattle for some kid. Let me tell you this thing was huge.

Now you would think he’d have them marked but he didn’t. You would think he would try them one at a time until the right one worked.

But he didn’t…

He insisted on trying the same key again and again and again assuring me this was the right one – but it was tricky to get in.

As my frustration and lateness was growing I was getting restless and I so wanted to grab that thing out of his hand so I could try myself.

Yet he’s such a cute old man and a great guy I couldn’t do it. I let him go.

Finally, and I swore I saw a light bulb turn on above his head, he exclaims – “I have the wrong set! Let me go back to my truck and get the right one.”

More keys…really he had more???!!!

In he comes with a new set just as large as the last – flips through them till he “felt” the right one and just like that – the key slid in like it was always meant to be.

A quick hand shake and I was back in my house ready for a now much-needed shower.

Consider for a minute something in your life that frustrated you so much you kept trying it – hoping it would work. How you just couldn’t help yourself.

You knew, without a doubt you were doing the right thing and someday it would pay off.

BUT… at some point you realized you were so far off the mark, that technique, or tool, was the completely wrong one despite how right it felt.

Sort like a girl I met who lost her phone for two days and got herself so frustrated and pissed headed to the freezer for a pint of ice cream to slosh down…

And low and behold her phone was frozen and stuck next to the tray of ice cubes she was making while on the phone with her friend.

Apparently her conversation ended just as she was freezing the cubes and took the phone off her shoulder to hang up while holding the tray and left.

So you see – those “try hard” guys, and not the ones you want nothing to do with, the ones who you find so amazing but always seem to “freaking” ruin the mood with their insistence on well, trying too hard attitude…

They’re distracted.

They’re distracted during those real important moments by their incessant need to get you to like them.

They think they know the answer so they keep pushing in the same old key. They don’t label how to act – they just do and then they do it over and over.

They’re stuck on auto-pilot because they left the other set of “keys” in their truck. Figuratively speaking of course.

Unlike my landlord above it probably worked on some women once.

Maybe she liked the attention.

Maybe she didn’t care.

Maybe she was flattered just enough to give him a try.

Okay so that may never be you but you must admit one thing – at least they’re trying something.  I see way too many guys who play the “I could never!” and that never works.

Some guys try too hard because they’re distracted by sex, they believe sooner or later they’re going to get lucky if they just keep “trying”, they don’t understand what it really takes to attract a woman, and last but certainly not least – they do not feel good enough for you.

They feel they have to distract you from their real selves – to get you to like them.

You see, (and we’re no different,) inside our mind we’re privy to all of our faults. We live with what we believe is our greatest downfalls.

And sometimes it’s hard to imagine even for one second everyone doesn’t see them or use them against us.

We perpetuate the negative feelings about ourselves and either try to hide them from others or talk our way out of them.

Like the guy who tells you right away all his bad faults because he believes you’ll eventually dump him or not like him anyways.

“Try too hard guys,” well, they’re just really trying too hard  – to not be themselves.

If you want to learn more about men check out my “Why Do Guys…” area. All free for women only.  🙂 Here is something very related to this you might find interesting: Reading His Mind, Why Do Some Guys Try Way Too Hard to Get You?

Sign up below for your free copy of my 80 page book – “The Silent Man – Why men go silent, ignore you, or fail to share their feelings.”

  • The 6 main reasons men will go silent and ignore you. Once you know these you’ll never have to ask why is he not talking to you ever again.
  • 49 personal situations that reveal (from a guy’s point of view) about why he has stopped contacting you.
  • You’ll find out if it’s him or you so you can fix and best figure out what to do next. Finally get some closure to either move on or remove him from your life!
  • Start changing how you see men & how they see you by understanding how your communication differences might be stopping you from connecting with him or all men.
  • 80 pages filled with everything you’ll ever need to know about why men go silent. (Only one picture so when I say it’s full – I meant it!

Silent Man Cover

The Secret Dirty Truth About Men is a dual newsletter with one goal in mind – help you understand men so you can truly connect with them.

(18 years of age or older please due to some adult content and language. No spam will ever be sent to you! Your Privacy – Disclaimer – Disclosures is always respected. This free email subscription will also send you broadcasts and updates from my personal blog: Why Do Guys…?  Your info is private, never shared, sold or rented to anyone!)

0 comments… add one

Leave a Comment