Some fear the approach as much or more than speaking in public.
They get nervous.
They think about too much about what to say and if they can not come up with something clever, they don’t approach.
Some even think you’re amazingly hot and can only think of telling you how beautiful they think you are.
A comment they know every guy has already said to you sometimes a thousand times.
Men are not conversational driven like women.
We’re not taught how to approach a woman in school.
We have to go by our friends while growing up, pickup movies where the nerd somehow gets the girl in the end, and worst of all, we get shot down a lot.
Some men also don’t really know how to talk to a woman.
They don’t understand how much you can turned on, or how much attraction a man can make with just his body language, attitude, and words.
And when they do realize it that puts even more pressure on them…
Because now they believe if they screw up the conversation you’ll never give them a second chance.
Here is what I used to do which might be some help or insight into how some men think when it comes to approaching women…
I notice her from afar. Wow. She’s hot. A friend of mine might even smack me on the arm and say,
“Dude. Look at her. She’s incredible.”
I would check her out casually and turn away quickly when she caught me.
I didn’t want her to think I was like every other guy.
I didn’t want her to think I was objectifying her body.
Let’s say I was out playing pool and I noticed her. I would use every opportunity to admire her beauty but I would find every excuse to not approach her.
- She probably has a boyfriend or worse yet married.
- She wouldn’t like me.
- I could embarrass myself if she shot me down.
- If I only knew what to say to get her interested enough in me but I doubt that’s going to happen.
- What if she says something hurtful or worse yet, calls me an ugly loser.
- Who am I to believe I could ever have a woman like her. I’ve never even been given the opportunity so I wouldn’t even know what to do if she talked back.
- I could stutter like some fool and really look pathetic.
Men are generally drawn to the physical attributes on a woman.
When we see a girl that we are highly attracted to there’s a mysterious force ( attraction ) which draws our eyes to her.
Some guys stare right at the breasts.
Some try to position themselves to check out her ass.
Some gaze at her eyes hoping and praying she will approach him and magically they will run off together. Okay this one is absurd but believe me, it does happen.
I remember seeing this incredible woman at a baseball game and by the end of the ninth inning my mind had us doing boyfriend and girlfriend stuff together.
And let me tell you I can’t remember a thing about who won the game or who was playing, but I still can see her in my mind… and that was over twenty years ago.
If the attraction mechanism that is put inside a guy is that powerful imagine how powerful the fear associated with approaching a woman is.
Years ago us guys could get smacked up pretty hard for approaching the wrong woman.
We could even lose our lives.
Imagine a group of 20 humans living as animals in the wild.
Chances are during our small lifetime we would be extremely lucky to even come across another group.
Therefore if we were to approach a woman we felt attracted to and failed, we could ruin our chances with every limited available women in the group (that wasn’t a family I hope.)
Us guys stare because we’re attracted to one or more physical features on a woman.
It varies from man to man although there are some features most men are attracted to.
We won’t, don’t, or can not approach because:
- Fear of failure and sometimes success.
- The women we have approached in the past were rude and made us feel like a loser for just wanting to talk with them.
- Some women appear unapproachable to us.
We stare because it’s a driving force of our sexual energy.
For me it’s the shapes. I love the shape and curves on a woman’s body.
The way the small of her back flows smoothly into her hips.
The soft curvature of her butt which I feel inside my mind being cupped in my hands as we kiss…
And ALL guys gets those same emotions even though we have different preferences in what we’re attracted to.
The real truth…or why does a guy stare at a woman but not approach will and has always come down to one thing – he’s feeling attracted to you but is either too scared, nervous, or clueless on how to approach you.
Of course YOU ( as a woman ) play your part too. 🙂 You MUST be open to the approach… Meeting Him, “Why Won’t Men Approach Me and How Do I Make It Happen”
If that doesn’t help you, you can always try using a pickup line on him – Don’t Wait For Him To Approach You! Pick Up Lines For Women
Or even this one: How To Approach A Guy At Work – He Wants to Be Noticed