Why Is It So Hard To Meet Or Approach People You’re Attracted To?


Is feeling attracted to someone the reason we don’t approach or meet someone? Is attraction controlling and exposing our fears? Is it a strength or a weakness?

With all this “staring” going around, why can it be so hard for single people to meet “other” single people?

Why is it so hard for some of us to start a conversation with a stranger that they might be attracted or interested in?

My thoughts are this, what do you think?

It comes down to ATTRACTION.

Think about it. You might not be a shy person but when it comes to meeting someone you might like to date, suddenly the nervousness takes over. Suddenly you become reserved. Suddenly you “try” to come up with the perfect line. The perfect “Hello”.

Anything so you don’t screw it all up AND will leave you looking better. You know, the perfect impression.

BUT Attraction takes over and you’re stuck looking at your past experiences. The failed ones. The rejections. The times some “hottie” blew you off or some guy checked you out for weeks but still he didn’t bother saying a word.

The truth is that we tend to act different around those we’re feeling it for.

We put way too much pressure on ourselves to “perform” when in reality, it’s the performance that often fails because we’re trying to be something better or greater than we believe we are.

Let me ask you this…

If you believed you were the most sought out person in the world… what would you do?

Would you wait around for THEM to approach YOU OR would you be fearless in approaching those very few you might have avoided in the past?

Me… if I was the hottest guy in the world I WOULD probably just put myself in more positions to meet women and them let them come to me, well at first.

I would definitely take full advantage of my “halo” and be a little lazy.

Except I can only imagine, over time, I would grow tired of it. Maybe not the endless sexual opportunities 😉 but tired of my disbelief in others and the lack of challenge that meeting women had become.

Slowly, but surely the one woman who just refused to come to me AND I was attracted to, might have me chasing her. Maybe.

But that’s just me. You might take a different approach. 🙂

Perhaps you would set out searching. Talking to everyone. Meeting people who might have scared you in the past when you were less confident in yourself.

The lazy way out or not…

Meeting people you would like to date casually IS really just getting to know some stranger and the more you believe in yourself, the more confident you are in your conversational skills, the more personal importance you put on yourself and what you have to offer… The easier is MUST be.

When you realize you might not be the most attractive person in the world, (after all that is entirely subjective) BUT when you believe in yourself enough and what you DO have, suddenly you feel more powerful because you now have a choice to make.

Suddenly the question, “Where do you meet people?” becomes less of a problem but more of a daily adventure.

An integral part of your life.

A thing so casual and less of a nuisance that you actually find yourself more selective, more proactive, and certainly more aware of those you choose to date.

Attraction is there for a good reason. It tends to bring people together. Whether or not it works out in the end is entirely something else.

It’s unfortunate it also does the opposite for those who don’t embrace it and then turn it inward exposing all their perceived weaknesses to themselves. In turn, fighting it so much it often appears to others as confusion and self-doubt.

Attraction seems to give us a heightened sense of reality.

When it comes to meeting our greatest attractions or just someone we’re feeling a little for, we can either to choose to embrace it, enjoy the “super” moments OR we can choose to let it expose the weaknesses we feel about ourselves. ( Which by the way not many people notice anyways.)

If we leave meeting people we might want to date to some random event, or strictly relying on a “friend of a friend” which can lead to a little drama, the limited choices also seems to set us up to repeat the same mistakes with she same type of person giving us the result we predicted from the last time.


Harnessing the power of attraction which grows insides us or exactly HOW to do that might be the real key to meeting those “potential” dates we let slip by everyday.

I’ll think about that and get back to you 🙂

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